Grief

 

I was scrolling FB the other day when I came to a post that stopped me. 

Singer/Songwriter Sara Bareilles is coming out with a new album called, “Good Grief.”

As the title indicates, 

The album explores grief. 

Believing that, “Healing often begins when we share our experiences of loss, and that grief will not overcome us if we have a community that's willing to listen,”

Sara gave a phone number to call to leave a story of grief. 

I called. 

I left a story. 

And then I received a text that shared some behind the scenes commentary on the album and a space to share another story. 

So I did. 

I shared four stories, 

The most poignant of which was inspired by observing a friend’s grief. 

 

“I have a friend who grieves powdered donuts.

 

I suppose it’s not the donuts themselves that she grieves

But what the donuts represent.

 

They represent loss and heartache and what could have been if sickness and disease had not sent in. 

 

My friend married for a second time midlife. She had hopes and dreams of retiring with her new husband.  

Of traveling.

Of having a companion to do life with.

Shortly after they married, he began having health problems. 

The problems have only grown and he is now losing capacity to make decisions for himself.

 

My friend works in the helping professions full-time. 

She is also a full-time caretaker for her husband.

She does her best to provide what he needs,

Including good, healthy meals.

Yet he very often refuses the food she cooks,

Only to eat powdered donuts.

 

This is grief. 

This is heartbreak.

This is watching dreams die and doing the hard work of living. 

And it’s difficult. 

And it’s not so sweet 

Like powdered donuts.”

 

I’m not Sara Bareilles.

I don’t have a national platform on which to share stories of community.

But I do have this little space,

And as hard as it is, I offer it to you,

To share your story of grief,

To have your voice be heard,

And now you’re not alone.

 

Grief goes beyond losing a loved one.

Grief happens with every loss  or disappointment, however small it may seem.

Sometimes we deal with the grief without having to name it.

But sometimes we must pause to recognize and mourn what has been lost. 

 

You are invited to pause to name and mourn now. 

 

Amen.