Regardless

 

A decade ago, my dad read something that profoundly impacted my life:

“I love you regardless of how well you’re performing.”

That one statement worked its way into my consciousness

As a statement

From God to me,

From me to God,

From me to myself,

From me to those I love,

And from me to those I struggle even to like.

It became a prayer that I prayed over the people in my life—

a mantra that I repeated until negative thoughts began to turn positive and

All I remembered was that we’re all human and walking this journey together.

 

Sometimes loving people regardless of how well they’re performing is challenging—

Especially around the holidays.

Sometimes we want people to be more vulnerable than they are.

Sometimes we want them to be more outgoing or friendly than they are.

Sometimes we want people to be more capable than they are.

Sometimes we want them to be more giving than they are.

We don’t mean to do it.

But sometimes we want people to be who they are not.

Which is not fair to them…or us.  

 

Oh God,

This Holiday Season and beyond,

Help us to love people for who they really are

Instead of who we want them to be.

Help us to see people as your good creation

Instead of who we have made them to be.

And help us, God, daily to

Remember, say, and believe,

In all its many forms,

“I love you

Regardless of how well you’re performing,”

Until we truly believe it and live it

In all that we say and do.

 

Amen.

Surprised by God

 

If I understand correctly,

To be a Christian is to

Believe in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

It is to believe in the transforming power of Jesus’s love and

To try to live on earth as one day we believe we will live in heaven.

It is to seek to follow the way of the cross

That was transformed and redeemed through a life lived less in judgment of the poor, outcast, and socially unacceptable and more in welcoming grace.

One’s standing as Christian

Is not dependent on one’s perceived sinfulness

Or one’s perceived holiness.

It is not dependent on

Rich, poor

Black, white

Gay, straight

Jew, Gentile

Man, woman

Pro-life, pro-choice

Political party or anything else.

To be a Christian is to trust Christ with our lives and

To follow our understanding of the Living Word of God,

Revealed to us in Jesus Christ,

Still speaking to us through the Holy Spirit.

God is alive and active.

God is bigger than human comprehension.

So maybe those of us who claim

Christian

As our name

Should spend less time condemning and

More time accepting

That we might be surprised at

All the people God loves.

Beloved

 

My dad bangs on the wall each morning to make sure I’m awake.

Sometimes I am. Sometimes I’m not.

Sometimes I immediately get up. Sometimes I forget.

Sometimes I make it downstairs while breakfast is still cooking. Sometimes I make it downstairs after it’s done.

Sometimes dad is sitting at the table doing his morning devotionals. Sometimes he’s moving about.

Sometimes we have a morning conversation. Most of the time we do not. Because I’m really very bad at mornings!

 

Last Wednesday, as I was sleepily trying to get myself together,

Dad said, “I want to read you something from my Nouwen book. It’s quite profound.”

And so he read:

 

“One of the greatest dangers in the spiritual life is self-rejection. When we say, ‘If people really knew me, they wouldn’t love me,’ we choose the road toward darkness. Often we are made to believe that self-deprecation is a virtue, called humility. But humility is in reality the opposite of self-deprecation. It is the grateful recognition that we are precious in God’s eyes and that all we are is pure gift. To grow beyond self-rejection, we must have the courage to listen to the voice calling us God’s beloved sons and daughters, and the determination always to live our lives according to this truth.” (Henri Nouwen, Bread for the Journey)

 

Then my dad added, “We are God’s beloved children.

I think I fail to accept that sometimes.

And I think that not accepting it has caused me to make a lot mistakes and feel a lot of heartache and depression over the course of my life.”

My dad is 81.

 

I didn’t say anything in the moment because I was running late.

I was also moved with emotion.

Because I completely understood.

 

Later, though, I sent my dad a text:

 

“The sermon last Sunday was on being God’s beloved children. It’s very, very different theology than Southern Baptist theology, and it’s taken me years and years of therapy and hard work to reprogram my brain to accept that I am God’s beloved child over I am a sinner. We may be sinners, but if we believe that we ARE sin at our core, then we believe that we are bad. But if we believe that we are God’s beloved, then we believe that we are loved, regardless of sin. I’m glad that Nouwen made you think.”

 

Friends: However old you are, 18, 46, 64, 81, and anywhere in between, know this:

In the beginning, God created humankind and called humankind good.

You are good. Even though you sometimes do bad things.

You are beloved. Even though your nature holds capacity for sin.

Christ’s forgiveness is but a heart’s cry away.

The Spirit’s grace is never-ending.

God’s love extends to all.

And that all includes all of who you are.

 

Oh God: Grant us the courage to listen to the voice calling us your beloved sons and daughters, and help us find the determination to live our lives according to this truth. Amen.