Love Heals A Frozen Heart

Monday’s word of the day was ruminate. Ruminate is a verb that means: 1) to go over in the mind repeatedly and often casually or slowly or 2) to chew repeatedly for an extended period. I have been ruminating the movie Frozen ever since seeing it Sunday.

I don’t want to spoil the movie for those of you who haven’t seen it, so I’ll just say this: Sometimes we declare our truths before we’re able fully to embrace them.

Now…I have a feeling that I may be the only person in the world who has written this statement in response to this film, but I’ve spent a lot of time ruminating why Frozen didn’t immediately become my all-time favorite Disney movie and the above statement is why.

Case in point, I started learning a new life-vocabulary at the beginning of March 2007. This vocabulary eventually helped me reframe everything I’d ever known and literally changed my life and worldview.

On March 28, 2007, I wrote my own personal “power ballad” – my own statement of who I am regardless of who the world wants me to be.

Do I believe the words of this song? Absolutely.
But had I fully arrived at living its words? No.
In fact, there are still days when I have trouble living them.
Yet I know they needed to be said when they were said—
Truths declared before I was able fully to embrace them—
Because I know, now, that simply speaking these truths released them into being
And ultimately allowed Love to heal a frozen heart.

Whole
3/28/07

A cloud of yellow comes and settles on my soul
Replacing sheets of white—cold
Nature has been waiting for this yellow on my soul
Agonizing in the pains of death

Tender, warm, new buds they bloom and yellow floods my soul
Bitter, stale the old passes away
My throat is scratchy from the yellow on my soul
My words are hoarse from the dark night

But listen now: this is my voice
It’s bursting into life
Singing with the colors of our God…

Three short months extended into countless draining years
Deceiving lies leading astray
Destructive screaming from this world created chaos here
Whispers of the truth could not be heard

But listen now: this is my voice
This is who I am
Created in the image of our God
Loved not for the things I do
But loved for who I am
And who I am learning to be

I’m not perfect—I will fail
But I believe in God’s grace
I am gifted and unique
I am worthy of God’s grace
I’m authentic—I’m okay
And I stand upon God’s grace
I’m on a journey—not alone
I’m a member of God’s grace

So listen now: this is my voice
This is who I am
Created in the image of our God
Loved not for the things I do
But loved for who I am
And who I am learning to be

Yes, listen now: this is my voice
It’s bursting into life
Singing with the colors of our God…

A cloud of yellow comes and settles on my soul
Replacing broken sheets—whole…

Prayer Puzzles

The 75% off sale at Barnes and Noble got me. It sucked me into the possibility of buying gifts for considerably less than I could buy them anywhere else. And so I bought. Books. Bud vases. Games. Puzzles. Mugs. Cups. And more.

I’m planning to keep most of the gifts for special occasions: birthdays, beginning of the school year,anniversaries, Christmas, etc. I’ve even updated my “Gifts Purchased But Not Yet Given” spreadsheet so that I won’t forget what I have to give.

But I’ve already given away one of the gifts and prepared another for the giving. My friend Ke is the recipient of both of these gifts because they are butterfly themed and butterflies mean a lot to her. They are a symbol of transformation and hope for what it is to come.

The first gift was a cup. She lit up when I gave it to her. She asked me to place it where she could see it and declared that she was going to use it.

The second gift is a puzzle. My aunt, mom, and I began putting it together last Tuesday night, and my mom and I finished it Sunday morning at 2:10am. My mom declares I wouldn't let her go to bed, but I think she willingly stayed. Puzzles can suck you in! I literally slept, ate, and worked on the puzzle all day Saturday. Nothing else. And with each piece of the puzzle, I prayed for Ke so that when the puzzle was complete it was full of both beauty and prayer. Now, we only must glue it before presenting it to Ke.

I’ve heard of a wide variety of prayers groups. Of quilting groups, crocheting and knitting groups, blanket-making groups, and others. Yet I’ve never heard of a puzzle group. But why not? Why not choose a specific puzzle for someone who needs prayer—something that holds meaning for the future recipient or something generic if the intended recipient is unknown? Why not gather together a group of persons to work together to create something beautiful—to fellowship together in community while forming a tangible prayer? What’s more? You don’t have to be crafty whatsoever to put together a puzzle. Puzzle making uses different skills than crafting—different parts of the brain—and so it could reach a different demographic of people.

I’m away in the mountains this week. I’m acting as chaperone and worship leader for a 3rd-6thgrade children’s camp. I can’t do anything more with the puzzle while I’m away, yet every time I close my eyes, I see the beautiful picture prayer that my aunt, mom, and I worked together to create—often giving each other a high-five when we finally placed a piece—and I smile…knowing that it was pieced together with prayer and love for a friend whose life has deeply blessed my soul.

Fireflies

Summer 1997. Recreation field at camp. Full moon. Cloudy night. “If I wait long enough, then the clouds will eventually part and I’ll see the moon and it’ll be a wonderful life-parallel to how all murkiness in life will dissipate and God will be clearly seen.” Wait. Wait longer. Wait even longer. Clouds never break. Fireflies appear everywhere. Light pops up everywhere. Reminders of God surround me, in places I cannot predict.

May 20, 2013. Yard-scrap pile in my backyard. Sun setting. Cool evening. “If I keep pulling up this creeper then the plants and trees will be able to breathe again—just like we can breathe again when we work to get rid of the sin that separates us from the fullness of God.” Pull. Pull more. Pull even more. Get to a particularly stubborn root. Watch decaying debris and dirt ride into the air on said root that refuses to come out of the ground. Two fireflies glow. Hatching from larva buried in composting earth. Light shows up. A reminder of God surrounding me, in places I cannot predict.

“Fireflies, fireflies
Rays of hope, short feelings of peace
At the right time they come
To carry us through until the day we see the sun”

Wait and pray.
Wait and pray.
God is in our midst.
Wait and pray.
Show up.
Be present.
Hold to all that is.
Wait and pray.
Wait and pray.
God is in our midst.
Wait and pray.

God makes God’s presence known to us in big ways, yes. In moons and weed removal and miracles and more.

But God is with us in the ordinary, too—in all times and all places…in dirt and in fireflies.

May we each be willing to see that, sometimes, God reveals God’s presence in ways we least expect.

May we each see the literal and physical fireflies surrounding us today and in all the days to come.

Amen.

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Writer's Note: Also, due to light pollution and the rapid decline of naturally damp and wooded habitats, fireflies are disappearing. Please join me in making environmentally wise decisions and caring for God’s beautiful creation.

In The Image of God

Last night, I had the privilege of leading Bible study for the 2012 Camp La Vida summer staff. In an attempt to introduce WMU’s new organization for young women, myMISSION, I used the myMISSION curriculum for the study. Last night’s theme was “In God’s Image: God as Creator.”

I always enjoy reading the Genesis 1 creation story. I love how the story paints the image of God speaking the world into creation (talk about the power of words!) and I love how each day ends with God declaring God’s creation good (talk about the inherent worth of each individual!).

As we read the story together last night, I was struck by the order of it all—how each day began and ended and how God took God’s time creating it all (talk about the need for order and structure and time!). I was also struck by the language used for God’s creation of humankind—the language of God, “making,” “forming,” and “blessing” humankind—the language of humankind being created in God’s image.

Throughout the study, we focused on this notion of God creating us, forming us, imprinting a bit of Godself within us. We discussed how, as God’s children, our lives are to reflect the image of the one who made us.

Toward the end of the study, the writer, A.J. Jordan, asks participants to read Romans 1:20…For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse (Romans 1:18-20 NIV).

She goes on to say: “I have always read this verse and immediately assumed that when Paul mentions God’s qualities being seen from what He has made, Paul was talking about the mountains, the ocean, the sunrise, and sunset—the nature side of creation. What if even more than those things, Paul is referring to the pinnacle of God’s creation, His image bearers—us?”

What if…

What if more than the beautiful bio-diverse mountains, lakes, and streams that I was surrounded by last week—or the vastness of the ocean or the uniqueness of wild animals—Paul is talking about humanity in these verses? What if it’s us in which people should clearly see God but us through which people are drastically turned away? What if people needed to know the attribute of God? Could they come to you and not just hear those attributes from your mouth but see them in your life?

Oh God, creator of space, time, and all things good…Forgive us, those you formed in your own image, for being destructive to your creation, and accept this prayer of desire to be a good steward of all that has been given me, including this life, so that others will see you reflected in me. Amen.

A Little Peaceful Moment

A couple of weeks ago, I went to a conference called, "Caring For Creation." The conference was wonderful, but it left me feeling as if I need to go live on a self-sufficient compound. Since the conference, I've done my best to stay focused on the very real world in which I live. As such, I haven't let myself fully process everything I heard. But I will share this:

On the Friday afternoon of the conference, as part of one of my workshops, I went outside and sat on a grassy hill overlooking Lake Junaluska. While lake levels were very low because of cleaning and dam maintenance, the moment was still very beautiful.

As I sat there, trying to be fully present in my surroundings, I saw two red birds, two blue birds, and one brown bird sitting in a nearby tree. Shortly after spotting the brown bird, I noticed that he/she was singing a pattern that was then repeated by another bird in another tree. The two birds continued their exchange for at least ten minutes, and it was fascinating to hear how every slight change was noticed. I hear birds singing all the time, but I’d never paid close attention to the songs or echoes or communication therein.

Later that night, I returned to that same spot. I wondered where the birds were sleeping. I watched the water blow in the wind and felt God’s spirit touching my face. I cried for just how badly we’ve messed up God’s creation. And I walked back to my room with one little poem in my head:

I heard two birds speak today.
Rhythmic echoes back and forth,
Call and response,
Till one flew away.

The end.

Eels and Koalas and Polars, Oh My

Last week, I asked the question: What’s the ugliest or oddest animal you’ve ever seen? Armadillo. Opossum. Anteater. Roach. Nutria. Blue footed boobies…Those were some of the answers I received. As for me, one of the oddest animals I’ve ever seen is the baboon. I’ve always wondered why their bottoms are so big and red! :-)

My office is located on the same exit as Riverbanks Zoo. Because it’s so close, I decided to purchase a zoo membership and to visit the zoo as often as I can. When I go to Riverbanks, I like to visit the Brown Bears and hope that they’ll go swimming while I watch. I like to visit the Koala bears and watch them sleep. I like to visit the snakes because I feel as if cringing at their presence makes me stronger. And I like to visit the Sea Garden Eels because they make me laugh. The eels in the picture that I’m posting today are out way further than the ones at Riverbank have ever been. To me, they look like the little worm in Richard Scarry books, and they make me laugh as they poke out their heads and look around, stretching and reaching and exploring…but immediately retreating back into their holes if they hear a noise or sense a threat. I wonder if they ever get tired of their little holes and move or if they just stay in one place for their whole lives—popping their heads out and thinking about the tank around them but being too afraid to move.

Sunday, before returning to South Carolina after leading worship in North Carolina, I decided to visit the North Carolina Zoological Park in Asheboro with some friends. I had been to the NC Zoo before but I hadn’t been in awhile. The NC Zoo is HUGE! But because we went during late afternoon, many of the animals weren’t out. Even so, it was still neat to walk around and to see the natural beauty of that part of NC and to observe the plants and flowers that never hide from their onlookers.

My very, very favorite part of Sunday's zoo trip, though, made missing so many other animals worth it: I got to watch the Polar Bear swim…and then I got to see him walking around after! I realize that Polar Bears are probably very dangerous, but if I could have gotten into the water and played with Mr. Polar Bear, then I would have done it. He looked so soft and fluffy and happy and playful that I just wanted to squeeze him. And he was so big! And his swimming and treading water motions were so human. And I was so extremely fascinated by his beauty that all I could do was stand and watch and prevent small children from taking my place. I know. That was not kind. But that’s how enthralled I was by the whole scene.

Sometimes it amazes me to think that the same God who created armadillos and roaches also created sea garden eels and bears…and me. But God did. Our God of amazing creativity is a God with both a sense of humor and a deep, deep appreciation for beauty. And today, as I reflect on my experiences at the zoo that is home to the funny eels and the one that has a cold pool for a polar bear, I am humbly grateful that I am part of God’s creation and that I get to share this earth with fascinating plants and creatures. What about you?