Real People

 

I cried at church on Sunday.

We were reading from 

Palm to Passion 

And the emotion of it all just got me. 

 

I think we sometimes go on autopilot 

When we read the story of Jesus’s last week of life. 

We read the events and see them as history 

And forget that real people actually lived them. 

 

I think, too, we sometimes dismiss Judas’s betrayal as preordained 

And forget how difficult it must have been for 

Jesus to receive that kiss. 

 

For that matter, 

I think we sometimes see the whole week as preordained 

And forget how difficult the whole week must have been. 

 

The ups and downs. 

The moments of beauty and of horror. 

The silence and the noise. 

The praise and the condemnation. 

 

It was all lived in real time

With real people who had 

Real emotions and real pain.

 

All of the ways that we’re human now

Were all of the ways that people were human then

And the mob mentality then was just as strong as it is now. 

The mob mentality freed a convicted criminal 

While it condemned an innocent Jesus to death. 

 

It was ugly.

It was brutal. 

They came at him with swords.

They used violence against a peaceful man. 

 

It didn’t have to be that way.

And yet it was.

 

And still Jesus found it in his being to say

Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.

 

Today, on Maundy Thursday, 

As we remember Jesus washing his disciples’ feet, 

Serving his disciples his last meal, 

Going to the garden of Gethsemane, 

And being betrayed, 

May we remember just how real it all was

And may we cry at the emotion and weight of it all.

 

Jesus was fully God, 

But he was fully human.

And we humans haven’t changed much in 2000 years.

 

Amen. 

Voiceless Coughing

 

It only took one Friday night cough for me to know that

I wasn’t going to have full voice on Sunday morning.

One cough told me that a cold was coming to sit in my chest and take my voice away.

One cough dashed weeks of hopeful planning for singing a powerful duet.

One cough set into motion numerous measures to keep my voice from leaving,

But to not avail.

I woke up yesterday morning unable to sing.

Truth be told,

I could barely talk.

 

To say that I was aggravated is an understatement.

I had been at home all week,

Not around known germs,

Resting,

And I still got sick.

Again.

 

And I got sick on a weekend I was scheduled to preach and sing.

The entire sermon was inspired by a song,

Yet suddenly my voice was stripped away and I was left singingly mute.

I muddled my way through the sermon with fear and trepidation.

The last time I preached, I was afraid of a nosebleed.

This time, I was afraid of a cough.

Last time, the nosebleed waited.

This time, the cough did not.

I coughed quite a few times,

My nose ran,

Tears rolled down my face from watery eyes,

And I was left standing there trying to deliver the message that was burning in my heart

But that I couldn’t get out of my mouth with voice inflection or style

Because I was on the verge of coughing with every word.

 

Thankfully, my friend Jes stepped in and sang a beautiful solo.

As she sang:

“You can pour your soul out singing,

A song you believe in,

That tomorrow they’ll forget you ever sang,

Sing it anyway,”

I fought back tears,

Thinking,
“You can pour your heart out speaking

A sermon you believe in,

But the message will get lost in

Every cough,

Preach it anyway.”

 

Preach it anyway, with whatever voice you have.

Sing it anyway, even if the singing is in your head.

Show up anyway, fully aggravated or completely pleasant.

Love anyway, because you must.

Even when it seems your best is not good enough.

God still is…

Anyway.

 

Amen.

 

---

 

An excerpt from my sermon:

 

But, Deanna, we aren’t Jesus. 

And it’s hard to love

When someone speaks ill of us or someone we love,

When someone mocks all that we hold dear, 

When someone gives us the cold shoulder and refuses to work alongside us, 

When someone is flat out mean and seeks to destroy forward progress,

It’s hard to remember that they, too, are God’s child.

 

Yes. 

 

It is. 

 

But God created all humankind in God’s own image and 

Called humankind, 

At its core,

Good. 

 

And so Jesus challenges:

 

Love your enemies (because they are human.) 

do good to those who hate you (because they are human).

bless those who curse you (because they are human). 

pray for those who mistreat you (because they are human). 

 

You don’t have to like them. 

You don’t have to accept their bad behavior. 

You don’t have to remain silent in the face of injustice  

And you don’t have to endure abuse.

 

But Jesus challenges you to love.

To wish upon all people God’s higher good—

However that wish manifests itself in your life.

 

(pause)

 

Love them anyway. 

Confession and Forgiveness

 

Each Sunday at church,

We begin our service with confession and forgiveness.

 

We pray something like:

 

Merciful God,

you speak blessing and compassion into the world.

Forgive us for the ways we act with judgment, cruelty, or indifference.

We ignore the needs of our neighbors;

we resist your call to oppose injustice;

we give in to scarcity and fear;

we assume the worst about one another.

Cleanse us from our faults and release us from their grasp.

Show us your loving-kindness.

Restore our hearts and repair your world, that we may live in Christ’s ways.

Amen.

 

And then hear words of forgiveness

That usher us into song.

 

Yesterday,

As we collectively read our prayer of forgiveness,

It struck me just how powerful it would be if

All proclaiming Christians, everywhere,

Read aloud those words together;

 

If all proclaiming Christians, everywhere,

No matter how pious and well-meaning,

Embraced the fact that we DO

Ignore the needs of those around us,

Resist doing what’s hard,

Give into scarcity and fear,

And assume the worst about the other;

 

If all proclaiming Christians, everywhere

Focused on the heart of Christ which was

Taking care of those around us,

(Not just our families and friends),

Fighting for what is right for all people,

(Not just those who look and think like us),

Living with the idea that there is an abundance when it is shared with all,

(Not just hoarded for ourselves or a minority of people),

And seeing the possibility of good in all people,

For all were created in the image of God and are doing our best to survive.

 

If all proclaiming Christians, everywhere

Focused back on the heart of the Gospel—

That Jesus came to serve rather than to be served,

That Jesus came to usher in the God’s Kingdom which is one of Love,

And that Jesus came to show us,

Once and for all,

That death and darkness and sin do not triumph,

Rather life and light and forgiveness emerge victorious in the end.

 

Reading those words each week

And embracing forgiveness

Is an act of humility and surrender

To something so much bigger than myself.

 

What IF all proclaiming Christians, everywhere

Were to demonstrate those same acts of humility and surrender

And allow God’s spirit to transform even the vilest of hearts?

 

What IF all proclaiming Christians, everywhere,

Were truly to follow Christ?

 

Amen.

Nosebleeds

 

My nose has been bleeding a lot lately. 

The weather changes and the dry air have combined to make daily nosebleeds a reality. 

It’s okay. 

It doesn’t freak me out. 

I’m a lifelong nose bleeder. 

My mom and my sister are too. 

When it starts, 

I just get tissue, apply pressure to the nose, and wait for it to stop. 

No big deal. 

Unless you’re leading worship and all eyes are on you. 

Then it might be a big deal. 

 

Such was my fear this past Sunday morning. 

I wasn’t sure how I was going to handle it if my nose started bleeding in the middle of the service. 

And to make matters worse,

I knew that my sermon was going to be evaluated by my peers in my preaching class

So I was even more worried that something would go wrong.

 

Thankfully, my fears did not come true

During the service. 

But you know what happened on my way home? 

Yep. 

My nose bled. 

 

I think what worried me the most was knowing that I was being filmed.

A nosebleed at home is not filmed.

A nosebleed in my classroom is not filmed.

A nosebleed in my car is not filmed.

But a nosebleed in the middle of a service that is live-streamed every week is filmed.

It is broadcast for the world to see from now until who knows when.

People were watching live. 

People will watch again on a delay. 

To see a regular service is one thing. 

To see a nosebleed is another. 

It freaks some people out! 

And I didn’t want to be the person who freaked people out. 

I didn’t want to be the person known for creating an awkward pause of worry in worship. 

 

Like I said, 

My fears didn’t come true during Sunday’s service 

And I am grateful. 

But my worry put me in touch with my pride. 

Yes, my pride was mixed with humility and the genuine desire not to disrupt worship. 

But my pride made me concerned about how I’d look

And I didn’t want to look stupid. 

Especially on film,

Especially when being critiqued. 

 

I know. 

This is normal. 

And I’m not beating myself. 

I’m just confessing my humanity in a way that I hope will connect with yours. 

 

Because, friends, we are all human. 

We all have fears. 

We all have hopes. 

We all want to be liked and appreciated. 

We all want to look like we have it together. 

We all struggle with pride and 

Many of us have nosebleeds that we don’t want filmed for the world to see. 

 

Yes, we are all human. 

So let’s treat each other as such. 

Especially now when it is so easy to hate. 

Especially now when not only the weather is cold 

But also attitudes and hearts. 

 

Amen. 

Week of Prayer for Christian Unity

 

I learned something new yesterday: 

There is a Week of Prayer for Christian Unity

And we are currently in that week,

January 18-25. 

I had no idea. 

And I can’t think of a more fitting time. 

 

According to my research:

 

The Week of Prayer for Christian Unity is an annual international ecumenical event whose origins go all the back to 1908. 

 

It is a dedicated time for Christians of all denominations to come together in prayer and reflection, seeking the unity of the Church and promoting reconciliation among Christian communities.

 

The Week of Prayer for Christian Unity emphasizes Jesus’ prayer from the Gospel of John: “That they may all be one” (John 17:21). 

 

It serves as a reminder of the shared faith and mission of Christians and encourages dialogue, understanding, and cooperation among diverse traditions, Catholic, Orthodox, Protestant, and other. 

 

I don’t know about you,

But I think we need this week now 

More than ever. 

 

During our prayer of confession yesterday,

We prayed a beautiful, humbling prayer

And then received forgiveness

And the challenge to go and do better.

 

May this be our prayer this week 

And may it spur us to unity 

In the one who is Love.

 

Amen. 

 

—-

 

Merciful God, 

You speak blessing and compassion into the world. 

Forgive us for the ways we act

With judgment, cruelty, or indifference. 

We ignore the needs of our neighbors;

We resist your call to oppose injustice;

We live in scarcity and fear;

We assume the worst about one another. 

Cleanse us from our faults

And release us from their grasp. 

Show us your lovingkindness.

Restore our hearts and repair your world, 

That we may live in Christ’s ways.

Amen.