I got so excited when I realized that I’d earned $30 in cash-back rewards by paying my tuition bill with my credit card that I decided to see how much I was earning from my other purchases. When I realized that I earned a few dollars and/or cents with literally every purchase I made with my credit card, I decided that it would be stupid NOT to use my credit card for ALL of my purchases. I haven’t had cash in my wallet since.
My plan worked fine until today.
Today I noticed that my back driver’s side tire was low. In an attempt to get air for said tire, I stopped at six different gas stations. I was denied every time. I kept hoping that I’d find a machine that took nickels and dimes…because I had no quarters or dollars…because I haven’t been using cash. [It didn’t occur to me until this very moment that I could have quartered my nickels and dimes inside the gas stations.]
So as I drove my hobbly car to class tonight, I was reminded of something very important:
It’s not either-or, it’s both-and.
It’s not cash or credit (that’s paid off every month, by the way).
It’s not black or white.
It’s not male or female.
It’s not rich or poor.
It’s not gay or straight.
It’s not band or sports.
It’s not smart or dumb.
It’s not right or wrong.
It’s not good or bad.
It’s not Christian or atheist.
It’s not hate or love.
It’s not math or science.
It’s not social studies or English.
It’s not Democrat or Republican.
It’s not jazz or classical.
It’s not State or Carolina.
It’s not hot or cold.
It’s not saint or sinner.
It’s both and.
It’s all of this and everything in between.
In a society full of opposites and extremes, I think we’d all do well to remember that life and humanity are both and.
Life and humanity—and most of us—are all of this and everything in between.
Showing posts with label balance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label balance. Show all posts
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
What It Is You Think I Should
“Is it just me or does this lyric not make any sense?” she said. “‘I told him I am the flower, you are the seed. We walked in the garden, we planted a tree.’ Unless I’m mistaken, there has to be some kind of crazy cross pollination going on there if that’s going to make any sense!”
Such was the conversation heard in room 223 of the Springhill Suites in Asheville yesterday morning. It was complete with dramatic singing and acting as my college friends Rachel and Angela and I attempted to answer Sunday’s question: “What is one song for which you are particularly thankful?” One simple question turned into a lengthy discussion that spanned everything from poignant hymns to guilty pleasures. The song “All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You” was a guilty pleasure. It’s one of those songs that’s somewhat ridiculous in plot but very fun to sing loudly!
Another song we stumbled upon was the song “Not Ready To Make Nice” by the Dixie Chicks. I didn’t really know the song until I pulled it up on You Tube, yet I found myself understanding the lyrics—though I must admit that they are very strong. I appreciate the honesty of the words and the fact that the raw emotions of pain and hurt aren’t just magically resolved. I found myself in the middle of someone else’s journey…just as I find myself in the middle of mine.
One particular lyric has been stuck in my mind since yesterday. It very simply says, “[I] can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should.” I find this line so powerful—so true—and such a vivid statement of the battle between living for self (through Christ) and others (of the world).
So often, I think, we know what’s best for ourselves. We know our boundaries and limitations. We know where God is leading. Yet outside pressure and expectation leads us to second guess ourselves and feel as if we are not “right” or “good enough” or doing our best. Granted, sometimes we do get stuck in a place where we need outside help. God knows that I’d be in a big mess without outside help! But sometimes, I think, we know what we need to do. We know what we can and cannot handle. We know the grace we are capable of extending. Yet the fear of disappointing others or being talked about in a negative way pushes us beyond what’s safe…and the result, I think, too often leads to hurt.
If I’m honest, then I must admit that I’m struggling to be at peace “in the waiting.” I, Deanna, am okay not knowing where I’m going (though it is somewhat unsettling), yet I feel like I’m doing something wrong by not actively seeking new employment opportunities. Why do I feel this way? Because of what I think the world thinks I should be doing. The world says it’s not okay for a 35-year-old college graduate to be unemployed. The world says it’s not okay for a Masters Degree graduate to not be contributing to a retirement account because she has no income to contribute. The world says it’s not okay for a grown child to live at home. And yet. Here I am. Living at home. With two degrees. No job. No clear direction. And doing a pretty poor job of waiting…not because I’m incapable of waiting—I am—and I'm okay with it--but because I feel like I’m being looked down upon for not immediately finding a new job. The thing is? I don’t just want a job. I want a calling. And I believe that God is calling…
Oh God. Help me to live as you would have me live and not how I perceive the world demanding that I live. Help me to find the joy in what surrounds me now because I know that joy—and grace—and healing—abound. Amen.
And now…to answer my thankful questions of the past couple of days:
What is one thing about Fridays for which you are particularly thankful? That Fridays are the days when my grandmother gets her hair done, and I know that the guaranteed human interaction is something that makes her happy.
What vacation destination are you particularly thankful exists? Asheville, NC (and pretty much any town in the mountains).
What is one song for which you are particularly thankful? “Growing Young” by Rich Mullins. Since before discovering that this song was written as a take on the story of the prodigal son, I have loved it. The lyrics speak to me—especially, “I’ve been broken now and I’ve been saved. I’ve learned to cry and I’ve learned how to pray. And I’m learning even I can be changed”—and the concept of growing young in the Kingdom of God as we grow old in this world is beautiful to me.
Who are the Veterans in your family for which you are grateful? Granddaddy Deaton (Dan Deaton, Sr.), G-Daddy (Virgil Kidd), Uncle Paul (Paul Johnson), and Dad (Dan Deaton, Jr.). I also have other extended family members who have served through the years…and I am grateful for their sacrifice and service.
Such was the conversation heard in room 223 of the Springhill Suites in Asheville yesterday morning. It was complete with dramatic singing and acting as my college friends Rachel and Angela and I attempted to answer Sunday’s question: “What is one song for which you are particularly thankful?” One simple question turned into a lengthy discussion that spanned everything from poignant hymns to guilty pleasures. The song “All I Want To Do Is Make Love To You” was a guilty pleasure. It’s one of those songs that’s somewhat ridiculous in plot but very fun to sing loudly!
Another song we stumbled upon was the song “Not Ready To Make Nice” by the Dixie Chicks. I didn’t really know the song until I pulled it up on You Tube, yet I found myself understanding the lyrics—though I must admit that they are very strong. I appreciate the honesty of the words and the fact that the raw emotions of pain and hurt aren’t just magically resolved. I found myself in the middle of someone else’s journey…just as I find myself in the middle of mine.
One particular lyric has been stuck in my mind since yesterday. It very simply says, “[I] can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should.” I find this line so powerful—so true—and such a vivid statement of the battle between living for self (through Christ) and others (of the world).
So often, I think, we know what’s best for ourselves. We know our boundaries and limitations. We know where God is leading. Yet outside pressure and expectation leads us to second guess ourselves and feel as if we are not “right” or “good enough” or doing our best. Granted, sometimes we do get stuck in a place where we need outside help. God knows that I’d be in a big mess without outside help! But sometimes, I think, we know what we need to do. We know what we can and cannot handle. We know the grace we are capable of extending. Yet the fear of disappointing others or being talked about in a negative way pushes us beyond what’s safe…and the result, I think, too often leads to hurt.
If I’m honest, then I must admit that I’m struggling to be at peace “in the waiting.” I, Deanna, am okay not knowing where I’m going (though it is somewhat unsettling), yet I feel like I’m doing something wrong by not actively seeking new employment opportunities. Why do I feel this way? Because of what I think the world thinks I should be doing. The world says it’s not okay for a 35-year-old college graduate to be unemployed. The world says it’s not okay for a Masters Degree graduate to not be contributing to a retirement account because she has no income to contribute. The world says it’s not okay for a grown child to live at home. And yet. Here I am. Living at home. With two degrees. No job. No clear direction. And doing a pretty poor job of waiting…not because I’m incapable of waiting—I am—and I'm okay with it--but because I feel like I’m being looked down upon for not immediately finding a new job. The thing is? I don’t just want a job. I want a calling. And I believe that God is calling…
Oh God. Help me to live as you would have me live and not how I perceive the world demanding that I live. Help me to find the joy in what surrounds me now because I know that joy—and grace—and healing—abound. Amen.
And now…to answer my thankful questions of the past couple of days:
What is one thing about Fridays for which you are particularly thankful? That Fridays are the days when my grandmother gets her hair done, and I know that the guaranteed human interaction is something that makes her happy.
What vacation destination are you particularly thankful exists? Asheville, NC (and pretty much any town in the mountains).
What is one song for which you are particularly thankful? “Growing Young” by Rich Mullins. Since before discovering that this song was written as a take on the story of the prodigal son, I have loved it. The lyrics speak to me—especially, “I’ve been broken now and I’ve been saved. I’ve learned to cry and I’ve learned how to pray. And I’m learning even I can be changed”—and the concept of growing young in the Kingdom of God as we grow old in this world is beautiful to me.
Who are the Veterans in your family for which you are grateful? Granddaddy Deaton (Dan Deaton, Sr.), G-Daddy (Virgil Kidd), Uncle Paul (Paul Johnson), and Dad (Dan Deaton, Jr.). I also have other extended family members who have served through the years…and I am grateful for their sacrifice and service.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
I Really Don't Want My Teeth To Fall Out
I woke myself up screaming last night.
I was dreaming that my teeth were falling out and that I couldn’t do anything to stop them.
I’ve had similar dreams before—of teeth falling out—but that doesn’t make the dream any easier.
It’s a horrible feeling to have your teeth fall out. There’s nothing you can do to stop it. You’re helpless. Out of control. Aware that these are permanent teeth that are permanently falling out. Understanding that this is really, really bad but being paralyzed from doing anything about it.
Last night, just after my teeth began to fall out—mouthfuls at a time—my mouth immediately changed shapes and my speech immediately shifted. I didn’t know how I would eat. Or sing. Or do anything important to me. I was falling apart. Literally.
Yet those closest to me just laughed. They laughed!
And I woke up screaming.
Teeth falling out dreams are evidently very common. In fact, I just stumbled upon an entire website devoted to interpreting the dreams (http://www.teethfallingoutdream.org/dream-about-teeth-falling-out/). The site says that, “Despite the negative associations that dreams about teeth falling out conjure, a complete interpretation of this common teeth dream also gives insight about positive meanings.” It then lists five keys to interpreting teeth dreams:
• Dreams about teeth falling indicate times of change and feeling of loss;
• Positive meanings: starting something new, period of growth and development;
• Negative meanings: insecurity, ambivalence, cost of inaction or compromising;
• Teeth falling out are dream symbols of costly compromise, lack of balance, insecurity;
• The intensity of the emotions in the dream are a reflection of tension felt in real life.
I’m guessing I woke up screaming because I’m a big stress ball this week—because my dream was reflecting my tension in real life. Being out of the office for a couple of weeks was wonderful, but it has left me disorganized and behind and completely unbalanced in life. I don’t know how to balance work with family with friends with church with Sabbath with passion with pleasure with transparency with boundary with wisdom with honesty with calling with self with expectation with longing with God with faith with calling with rest with life. I wrote about transitions on Monday. I am in transition. I have experienced some degree of loss. I am insecure and somewhat unable to act because I feel quite overwhelmed and extremely tired. And so…
I dream about my teeth falling out and I wake up screaming.
“Come to me all you who are burdened and are tired. Come to me and I will give you rest. Take my easy yoke, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble and mild. And you will find rest for your weary soul. Oh come to me.”
I’m coming, Jesus. With a mouth full of teeth and prayers for positive growth and development rather than the helplessness I felt in my dream last night, I’m coming…
I was dreaming that my teeth were falling out and that I couldn’t do anything to stop them.
I’ve had similar dreams before—of teeth falling out—but that doesn’t make the dream any easier.
It’s a horrible feeling to have your teeth fall out. There’s nothing you can do to stop it. You’re helpless. Out of control. Aware that these are permanent teeth that are permanently falling out. Understanding that this is really, really bad but being paralyzed from doing anything about it.
Last night, just after my teeth began to fall out—mouthfuls at a time—my mouth immediately changed shapes and my speech immediately shifted. I didn’t know how I would eat. Or sing. Or do anything important to me. I was falling apart. Literally.
Yet those closest to me just laughed. They laughed!
And I woke up screaming.
Teeth falling out dreams are evidently very common. In fact, I just stumbled upon an entire website devoted to interpreting the dreams (http://www.teethfallingoutdream.org/dream-about-teeth-falling-out/). The site says that, “Despite the negative associations that dreams about teeth falling out conjure, a complete interpretation of this common teeth dream also gives insight about positive meanings.” It then lists five keys to interpreting teeth dreams:
• Dreams about teeth falling indicate times of change and feeling of loss;
• Positive meanings: starting something new, period of growth and development;
• Negative meanings: insecurity, ambivalence, cost of inaction or compromising;
• Teeth falling out are dream symbols of costly compromise, lack of balance, insecurity;
• The intensity of the emotions in the dream are a reflection of tension felt in real life.
I’m guessing I woke up screaming because I’m a big stress ball this week—because my dream was reflecting my tension in real life. Being out of the office for a couple of weeks was wonderful, but it has left me disorganized and behind and completely unbalanced in life. I don’t know how to balance work with family with friends with church with Sabbath with passion with pleasure with transparency with boundary with wisdom with honesty with calling with self with expectation with longing with God with faith with calling with rest with life. I wrote about transitions on Monday. I am in transition. I have experienced some degree of loss. I am insecure and somewhat unable to act because I feel quite overwhelmed and extremely tired. And so…
I dream about my teeth falling out and I wake up screaming.
“Come to me all you who are burdened and are tired. Come to me and I will give you rest. Take my easy yoke, and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble and mild. And you will find rest for your weary soul. Oh come to me.”
I’m coming, Jesus. With a mouth full of teeth and prayers for positive growth and development rather than the helplessness I felt in my dream last night, I’m coming…
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