Proud

 

I’m proud of myself. 

I have successfully scheduled to use up all of my credits at Massage Envy 

So I can cancel my membership! 

 

When I joined Massage Envy, 

I was living in Columbia, SC, 

Where a franchise location was convenient. 

The membership fee was also less while  

My salary was more. 

 

While in SC, I faithfully received my monthly massages and easily used up my credits. 

Then I moved home. 

To Harnett County. 

Where a franchise location is not convenient. 

 

For awhile, 

I was able to keep up with my massages

Because I was driving to Raleigh for therapy with Joe the Counselor. 

I called it therapy night. 

I would first see Joe for mental therapy, 

And then I would go to Massage Envy for body therapy. 

 

Then life happened. 

And Covid hit. 

And I stopped going to see Joe in person. 

And my massages started accruing. 

 

At one point, I had 27 credits! 

If I would have cancelled my membership, 

Then I would have lost all of those credits and a lot of money. 

 

So I went into action. 

I gave away as many massages as I could. 

And I went on in the freeze plus program, 

Where you pay a discounted rate to keep your membership without accruing more massages. 

I scheduled massages every week possible and I even got facials! 

 

And now, 

If all goes as planned in January,

I am out from under my membership 

And I can cancel without losing money. 

 

So I am proud of myself. 

I have worked hard to accomplish a daunting goal of luxury. 

 

In addition to the membership, 

I have spent way too much money on gas and tips,

But I have done it.

 

And so I celebrate 

This small victory at the end of 2024 

And I hope to be a better steward of my money in 2025. 

 

What about you?

What small, or large, victory can you celebrate at the end of 2024? 

And what do you hope for 2025? 

 

Whatever it is, 

Even if it’s just surviving,

I celebrate and hope with you 

Because we’re on this journey together, friend,

And goodness abounds. 

 

Amen. 

The Sales Get Me

 

Sometimes I get a bit overzealous at the grocery store. 

Sometimes I get excited about sales and buy things we really don’t need 

Because I am saving money. 

Sometimes the freezer gets too full. 

Sometimes the fridge bursts at the seams. 

Sometimes the pantry gets so disorganized that we don’t even know what’s in it. 

And then, sometimes, when we clean it out, 

I find myself praying for forgiveness for wasting so much food, 

When I know that food insecurity is so very real. 

 

…..

 

A couple of weeks ago, 

I was talking with Joe the Counselor about how busy my next couple of weeks would be. 

I was feeling overwhelmed and afraid that I would get sick, 

Which I did, 

When he said, 

“You don’t have to do the whole two weeks at once. 

It really is one day, one moment, at a time.”

 

…..

 

A few months ago,

One of my friends wrote in a group text and asked us to help settle a debate:

Do most people go to the grocery store every day or once a week? 

Another of my friends answered, 

Once a month. 

I usually go once a week, 

But, like I said, sometimes the sales get me and I will buy stuff not on the needs list but 

Because mom or dad like it, 

Or because we’ll eventually use it. 

And hence,

The stockpile of stuff. 

 

….

 

It’s tough. 

Finding a balance between living for today and being prepared for the future. 

Going to the grocery store every day doesn’t seem feasible to me, 

Then again, buying in excess doesn’t seem like a good use of money. 

Facing two weeks all at once isn’t possible,

But facing each moment as it comes doesn’t seem plausible either. 

What if I’m not prepared?

And yet. 

Jesus calls us to 

Not worry about tomorrow, 

For each day has enough trouble of its own. 

 

…

 

It’s a practice: 

Living in the moment 

While not dwelling on the past 

Or fretting about the future. 

 

It’s a practice: 

Sticking to a grocery list and 

Not getting sucked into sales.

 

It’s a practice:

This life. 

 

And practice means moving from failing to succeeding to failing again 

As we hone and improve our skills. 

 

Practice means accepting the reality that

We will never be perfect 

But always in process. 

 

…..

 

I don’t know what the future holds. 

There is much mixed emotion and a lot of uncertainty. 

Grocery prices may go down.

Grocery prices may soar and I may not be able to buy extra groceries. 

I may not be able to buy groceries at all. 

But I can’t plan for any of that. 

 

All I know is that 

I must practice living for now, 

And now is a moment for

Love and blessing and care, 

Even if it means going to the grocery store

And shopping the sales. 

 

Amen. 

 

 

Wealth

We have

Enough to go

Around.

Love should lead us

To share rather than

Hoard.

Down Deep

 

I’ve been a member of Massage Envy for over a decade now.

I joined when I lived in SC and made more money than I currently make.

I haven’t let the membership lapse because I always have massages lying in wait,

And I don’t want to waste the money I’ve already spent…

And so I keep the membership going, thinking that I’ll catch up on massages one day,

Only to watch more and more massages accrue and more and more money seemingly go down the drain :-\.

 

That being said,

I’m in a catch-up cycle right now.

At the beginning of the year, I made it my goal to use my massages,

And so I booked a massage every Friday afternoon for five weeks.

Here’s the deal, though:

There was only one massage therapist available at the time I could go,

And he wasn’t very good.

I went because I needed to use up my massages.

I didn’t go because I was receiving the therapeutic benefits of massage.

 

That all changed last Friday.

On a whim, after not going in for a few weeks,

I decided to see if an appointment was available for that day.

There was.

And it was with a different therapist.

So I booked it.

I figured that he couldn’t be much worse than the therapist I’d been seeing.

 

Come to find out,

The new guy was actually an old guy I’d seen years ago.

He had left my location, gone to another, and then landed at the Umstead.

He didn’t like the Umstead, however, because he had to keep the massages relaxing,

And he likes to do more therapeutic work.

 

And boy does he.

As soon as he started my massage,

I knew that it was going to be different than the massages I’d lain through at the beginning of the year.

My new therapist, Anthony, went down deep into my muscles,

All the while stretching them as he went.

There were moments when the work he did hurt,

But it was a good hurt,

And when I left, I felt different.

The tension in my lower back and glutes was gone

And I was pain-free for the first time in a long time.

 

I think that’s how it is with life sometimes, too.

I think sometimes we have to go down deep,

Stretch ourselves, and make ourselves

Face the things that we don’t usually face

In order for the pain to dissipate.

That’s the beauty of counseling.

It’s also the beauty of prayer.

 

Dear God: You are everywhere if we but have the eyes to see and the ears to hear. Thank you for making your presence known on a Friday afternoon in an appointment that I expected little from but that I wanted to keep to be a good steward of the resources you have given. Help all of us to be good stewards of our resources and to catch glimpses of you in wherever we end up. Thank you that, through pain, there is often progress, and that you provide us with people to help in the processes that are beyond our expertise. Help us to seek out others who will strengthen us and make us better for your service. It’s in your loving and life-giving name that I pray, Amen.

 

By the way, I’ve scheduled more massages with Anthony.

How could I not?!

My Checkbook is Balanced

 

I may be one of the only people in the modern world who still balances her checkbook.

But I do.

I don’t like looking at my balance online because it’s deceptive.

It makes me think I have more money than I have.

I must always keep $1000 in my checking account to avoid a service charge.

If I go below $1000 at any given point in the month,

Even if it’s just for an hour,

Then I am charged a service charge

And it immediately makes me grumpy.

I know I could switch banks.

I know the SECU or USAA are good options.

But that’s not the point 😊.

The point is that it makes me grumpy.

 

Being the super busy traveler that I was last Fall,

I didn’t balance my checkbook for a couple of months;

Therefore, I didn’t see the flashing zero in my ledger book and

Let my balance go below $1000 last week.

 

True to form.

It made me grumpy.

 

So I was grumpy while waiting in line at the ATM to deposit the money needed to regain $1000.

And then I got even grumpier when I did something I don’t normally do:

I looked at the receipt left by the person in front of me.

He had over $14000 in his account!!!

What?!

$14000???!!!

That’s over six months of take home pay for me!

Yes. That’s right. After taxes, retirement, and various other expenses come out of my check,

My paycheck is just over $2000 per month.

After taking out all of my fixed monthly expenses,

I have less than $200 per month to spend.

I figured this out the other night while balancing my checkbook and updating my budget sheet.

It stressed me out.

And going below $1000 made me grumpy.

And then I find the random receipt of someone who has $14000 sitting in his checking account.

And my stressed out, grumpy self,

Tired from returning to work where I, as a teacher, absorb the emotional energy and trauma of 500 little ones for whom I am responsible,

Started crying,

For me, and for all the people struggling to make ends meet;

For me, and for all the teachers whose pay far from respects the work that we do;

For me, and for all the people who will never see anything close to $14000 in their checking accounts;

For me, and for all the teachers who sometimes feel demoralized when they dwell on just how unfair it is to not get a raise for nine years after teaching for fifteen.

 

Recently, I have been writing about how goodness abounds.

And I believe that it does.

And I am abundantly fortunate that I have the resources that I need to help ends meet.

But sometimes goodness is temporarily overshadowed by stress and grumpiness

Because sometimes life simply isn’t fair.

 

Dear God: When life’s inequality, stress, and grumpiness begin to overwhelm, help us to feel what we’re feeling, name it, and move through it. Help us to find the good—even if it’s in something as small as the checkbook being balanced—and help us to use that good to get by. God, there have always been rich and poor. Help the rich use their riches for good and help the poor to find the resources that they need to get by. Help each of us to be good stewards of our time and money and help us to have the faith to pray and believe, “Give us this day our daily bread.” Amen.

Pedicab Ride

 

It was 9pm.

We were supposed to meet back with the group at 10:15pm

Rockefeller Center was a ten-minute walk from the meeting point.

We had plenty of time.

Or so we thought.

What we didn’t account for were the crowds.

Swarms and swarms of people,

Moving in droves,

To and from Rockefeller Center,

A traffic jam on foot as bad as the traffic jam in the road,

The only movement by inches,

Pushing and shoving,

Weaving in and out.

At one point, our group got separated.

Thank God for phones or I don’t know what we’d have done.

 

We found ourselves in a little open space around 9:40.

Foot traffic had pushed us in the opposite direction of where we needed to go,

And the only way to get to the meeting point was to go back through the scary crowd.

“I’ll pay for a pedicab,” Heidi The Librarian said.

I agreed.

So we hailed two pedicabs.

They trailed us as we walked a little-ways through the crowd

Until the police could let us through the barriers.

“Can you get us to the port authority?” I asked.

“Yes,” the driver responded.

There was no time for negotiations.

We simply hopped on and then…

Freedom!

 

We moved forward when cars and walkers stood still.

We rode through the streets,

Wind blowing through our hair,

Music blasting and people looking as,

We sang and laughed and had the time of our lives.

We saw more of NYC than we had previously seen.

We made videos and took pictures and laughed in sheer joy.

 

And then we arrived at the Port Authority.

And the pedicab drivers wanted $250 per cab, cash only.

And Jessi The Spanish Teacher had a bathroom emergency.

And the tour director was on the phone, asking where we were.

And cars were honking and people were yelling and

Venmo was trying to load and the director was trying to give directions

And Jessi was missing and

It was time to be at the meeting point and

It was the perfect storm of chaos and stress!

 

Maybe the drivers did take advantage of us.

Maybe they did take the scenic route instead of the direct route.

Maybe we should have negotiated prices.

But we were in no place to argue.

We needed saving.

And they saved us.

 

And then Amelia The Niece’s smile.

And echoes of Feliz Navidad.

And the feeling of freedom after being stuck in that crowd…

 

I’d do it all again.

And maybe this time,

I’d turn up the music louder

For our $500 NYC show!

 

😊