15 Minutes At A Time

I got to campus early tonight. Starbucks is currently selling the delicious chile mocha, and I was craving one after a long (but decent) day of teaching.

I had a plan. I would drop off my stuff in the classroom, walk to Starbucks to get my coffee, and then go back to the classroom to take stock of where I was with my assignments.

On my way to dropping of my stuff, though, I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in a couple of months. After hugs, we stood and talked for about 15 minutes.

As I was talking to her, I saw my former college minister and mentor whom I hadn’t seen in years! She was on campus for a special event and I happened to be standing near her car as she prepared to leave. After hugs, we stood and talked for about 15 minutes.

It was so great to catch up with both of those friends.

After dropping off my things, I bumped into a classmate who had also arrived early. She had had a family emergency last week and needed to share the details of what had transpired. For about 15 minutes, I listened as she shared how God had worked in her family’s life. Empty Starbucks cup staring at me, I silently reminded myself that this was more important than coffee—that these are the moments where life happens.

Once finished giving testimony to God’s hand in her life, my classmate asked where she could find the library reserves. I told her I’d be happy to show her because…well…they are very close to Starbucks.

So we walked to Starbucks. And I got my iced chile mocha. And as we were leaving, another classmate walked in. I greeted her with open arms. We waited with her until her drink had been made. All-in-all, I was in Starbucks for about 15 minutes—talking up a storm to my classmates and the baristas.

We got to class with about 15 minutes to spare. I didn’t get a chance to take stock of where I was in my assignments. But that didn’t matter. I had gotten a chance to do life with people—to hug and talk and listen and laugh…and to celebrate that my voice is strong enough that I can talk (although I know that I still need to rest it whenever possible—even if that means putting myself in time out a few times a day).

Friends: Plans are good—especially when trying to maneuver many moving pieces and keep them from crashing into one another. But sometimes life has a way of interrupting our plans and refreshing our spirits through people—through conversations—through celebrations—15 unplanned minutes at a time.

I am so thankful.

So Much Boils Down To Feeling Safe

Have you ever had a conversation that helped you realize something that you didn’t know you needed to realize?

As I chatted with a friend yesterday afternoon and said something that seemed a bit too random to be truly random—although it was something that had just popped into my mind—I found myself being faced with this request: “Tell me what you know. Because that was a bit too random.”

So. I started talking about all of the things that I know. I said things like, “I know you’re a tremendous person and leader. I know that you’re very capable of doing good and that you add something important to this world. I know that I hope good things for you and that you will be an excellent mom when you choose to have kids and if you are able to have kids. I know that I think baby humans and puppies are super cute but that I don’t think I could successfully raise either. And I know that I sometimes I wish I could go back and start over again so that I could be a better friend to people. Steady. Stable. Strong. And…safe.”

Steady. Stable. Strong. Safe.
Safe…
So much boils down to feeling safe.

When people think of me, I want them to feel safe.
Not afraid that
I’ll ask too many questions,
Want to know too much,
Offer too many gifts,
Share overwhelming information,
Think too deeply,
Come on too strong,
Demand unrealistic outcomes,
Be too mean.
When people think of me, I want them to feel safe.
Comfortable.
Loved.
Believed in.
Free to be fully themselves.
Safe.

So often, when things go wrong in friendships, in relationships,
It’s because someone has made someone else feel unsafe—
Plain and simple…
Though it’s really not simple at all.

I didn’t know I needed to realize this. But. I did.

So much boils down to feeling safe.

God, forgive us (forgive me) for all the times we’ve (I’ve) made someone feel unsafe.
And God, help us mend what’s been broken,
Slowly, steadily, securely,
Until we feel safe again.
Amen.

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My friend Holli came to visit today. She arrived at school just before car rider duty ended—just in time to see my J and L go to their car. My J is the student who brought me lunch the Friday before Spring Break. He is also the student who won the county writing competition and who I went to the reception to support. Furthermore, he and L own my favorite car rider duty dog, Zoe.
Since Holli had her dog with her, I introduced them all to one another. “J and L—this is my friend Holli and her dog Julius Caesar.” J’s response, “You didn’t tell me you had friends!”

He sounded truly offended that I hadn’t shared this bit of information with him!

I smiled and said, “Well, yes. I have friends, J.” He approved.

Then Holli said, “This is going on the internet later.” I said, “It sure is.”

And there it is, my friends. My cute school story from the day.

Chased only by this cute story: I love dogs. My dad loves dogs. Holli loves dogs. My mom doesn’t love dogs. Who has Julius Caesar gravitated toward since he’s been at the house?
As he jumped on the couch with my mom, we heard this laughing statement, “Out of everyone in this house, why did you choose me?”

Then he came to me. And slept on my hand as I finished this post.

Defining Moments: Coffee, Coffee, Coffee

Tonight after making a somewhat embarrassing attempt to lead the Vacation Bible School theme song, I sat down near Patrick for the rest of opening celebration. During the missions video, after an image of a cup of coffee appeared, this conversation occurred:

Me: “Oh that looks good. I just realized that I haven’t had any caffeine today.”
Patrick, laughing: “I drank an entire pot of coffee by myself this morning.”
Me, taking in that information: “Wait. I’ve actually only had water.”
Patrick: “Wow. That’s impressive.”
Me: “I didn’t mean to!”
And then we both laughed.

Growing up, I always wanted to drink coffee. Coffee commercials made coffee look so good, and the smell of coffee was so appealing. And yet, I just didn’t like it. Even after going to coffee shops with my big sister in college, I still hadn’t acquired a taste for sophisticated liquid energy. I always went for orange soda or hot chocolate while inwardly wishing that I liked coffee.

Then I met Kyle.

Kyle was one of my youth when I was a youth minister a decade ago. When he was in high school, Kyle had this dream of opening a coffee shop. While the details are hazy now, I remember him talking about his coffee shop a lot and I remember thinking that I hoped he accomplished his goal because I could tell it would make him happy.

The second summer I took my youth to summer camp, Kyle couldn’t attend with us because he was North Carolina Governor’s School East. During free time one day, in Kyle’s honor, I decided to buy myself a frozen coffee drink at the coffee shop at Ridgecrest. Much to my surprise, I liked it.

And therein started my beginning in the delightful world of coffee.

Very slowly, I have moved from frozen coffee drinks to iced coffee to hot coffee—from drinks with only a hint of coffee to straight up coffee with only cream and sugar—I’m still not able to do black. Today, mostly because I’m very bad at drinking hot beverages—almost as bad as I am at leading choreography—I still prefer iced or frozen coffee—I don’t have to worry about burning my tongue—but I can drink light, medium, or dark roasts with or without flavoring.

I can now see coffee commercials and smell coffee brewing and sit with friends at coffee shops and be fully content. In fact, I cannot count the number of times that I have shared coffee with friends and family members since the day that I took that leap of coffee faith in honor of Kyle. Had I not chosen to try that drink that day, then I may have missed some of the best conversations of my life.

Thanks, Kyle, for being an all around great person and coffee ambassador. And thank you for unknowingly giving me one of the defining moments of my life.