Context Matters

Yesterday, as my parents and I traveled to and from my nephew’s basketball game in Apex, we listened to the Broadway station on satellite radio. Some of the songs were familiar. Most of the songs were not. Some of the songs made sense. Most of the songs did not. Out of context, even the most celebrated songs can be misinterpreted and misjudged.

Context is important. Overarching storyline matters. When we hear only part of a conversation but have no idea its context, we often misinterpret the words and read into them our own version of reality. When we read only parts of scripture but have no idea of the larger narrative, we often misinterpret the words and read into them our own version of truth.

One summer, while working at camp, I heard only part of a conversation. I heard that I needed to buy twelve and a half dozen eggs but had no idea what I was buying them for. Even after questioning the amount, I still blindly went to the store and bought twelve and a half dozen eggs. Come to find out, we only needed 18 eggs for an egg dropping competition. 132 extra eggs went to waste…because I didn’t understand the context of the part of the larger conversation I had heard.

Thankfully, buying too many eggs didn’t damage someone’s reputation. But hearing things out of context most certainly can. Thankfully, buying too many eggs didn’t lead to scriptural abuse. But reading scripture out of context, most certainly can.

May we be a people who do not settle for bits and pieces of muddy information but who seek the entire picture of contextual truth. It may take a bit of time to put things into context, but that time is well worth the effort when it leads to clear understanding of what is being seen and heard.

Oh God: Help us. Amen. And Amen.

Pay Attention

I think it’s an unspoken understanding that we, as humans, want other people to pay attention to us. Though sometimes we many want to remain unnoticed, most of time we want to be seen and heard. Children demonstrate this fact loudly and openly when they act out to receive attention. Teenagers demonstrate this fact loudly and openly when they film themselves doing ridiculous stunts in hopes of becoming a YouTube sensation. Adults demonstrate this fact loudly and openly when we leave passive-aggressive or cryptic messages on Facebook. Truth be told, sometimes the lines of action between children, teenagers, and adults get crossed so blurrily that adults end up acting out like children.

As a human teacher, then, it’s no surprise that I want my students to pay attention to me. I want them to listen and learn and I want them to gain knowledge and information that will help shape their lives in a positive way. This is always my hope—to be heard—but oftentimes I get the impression that my students hear more of the teacher in Charlie Brown than they do me…especially when it comes to the morning announcements.

So this afternoon when one of my students repeated something I’d said on this morning’s announcements, I smiled.

I gave a shout-out to a 2nd grade boy who showed kindness yesterday. He was one of my helpers but sat down and started to find his page number before realizing that he’d forgotten to give his neighbor a book. Just as he got up to get the missing book, he realized that he could give her his book—open to the proper page—and get himself another book. He was very sweet and chivalrous with his actions and had no idea that I was watching him. I told that little

Just as today’s helpers were finishing book distribution, one of my helpers came to my desk and said, “I forgot to give Alex a book so I gave him mine and got myself another one.” I inwardly smiled and said, “Well that was very nice of you. You just showed kindness, just like I gave a shout-out for on the announcements this morning.” She proudly nodded her head, grinned, and walked back to her seat.

Just the other day, I posted a Stephen Sondheim quote that says, "Careful the things you say; Children will listen. Careful the things you do; Children will see and learn. Children may not obey, but children will listen. Children will look to you for which way to turn; To learn what to be. Careful before you say 'Listen to me’; Children will listen."

They really do listen.
They really do pay attention.
And they really do just want us to pay attention to them.
And they are us.
And we are them.
Children. Teenagers. Adults.
Wanting to be seen and heard.

A Fast And A Conversation

A Fast, A Conversation, and A Poem…9.16.13

Well folks. I did it. I took off one week (minus two hours for a preplanned chat) from Facebook and I survived. I didn’t cheat. I didn’t even break the fast first thing yesterday morning. Strangely enough, I didn’t even think about it until the pastor mentioned it at worship. Maybe it’s because I started the fast last Sunday night? Maybe it’s because I couldn’t make myself get out of bed and was therefore running late for church? Maybe it’s because I’d gotten out of the habit? I actually think it might be the latter because I haven’t been on Facebook today…even though I got an e-mail about the thousands of notifications that I’ve missed.

And what did I do instead of getting online? I lay in bed and prayed first thing in the morning. I paid more attention to what was happening in the rooms I was in during the day. (If nothing was happening, I sat in the silence.) I shopped for major deals in the evenings. I sat with Bullet and/or cleaned during the nights. I visited friends and family on the weekend. I made a new friend. I thought about what was and wasn’t important to share with the world. I realized just how dependent society had become at communicating through Facebook—especially about dates, times, and events. I wrote three poems. I worked on a song that I can’t seem to finish. I prayed for my students. And I waited impatiently to be able to share my favorite conversation of the week. So here goes:

Me: You’re supposed to rest on Sunday, Mrs. Effie. That’s what I’m going to do. I’m going to go to church and then I’m going to rest. But tonight I’m going to go home and clean the garage for mom and dad and take care of Bullet.

Mrs. Effie: That’s why I like you so much, Sweetpie.

(I’m thinking, “Because I like dogs?”)

Mrs. Effie (continuing): You’re kind. You love your family. You love the church. And you love black people.

Me (a bit surprised by her statement but grinning from ear to ear and nodding in agreement): Well. Yes. Yes I do.

Mrs. Effie: You love black people. White people. Any color people. It doesn’t matter. You just love people.

Me: Yes. I do. And I. Love. YOU.

Mrs. Effie (grinning): And I. Love. YOU.

In A Year

I’ve been collecting Coke Rewards points for some time now. Friends and family members have helped in the collection and enabled me to enter various sweepstakes, donate points to two schools, purchase a travel bakery set that I was able to give to a friend, and buy a garden set that I used today.

When the garden set arrived, I was living in South Carolina. While working for SC WMU, I tried to develop a green thumb under the tutelage of one of my coworkers and took responsibility for the office plants. I have a vivid memory of taking my garden set to work and repotting and pruning many of our plants. I remember my excitement as one of the dying plants came back to life in the weeks that followed, and as I pruned some flowers in the backyard today, I found myself wondering about that plant. Is it still alive? Or did it finally stop living and wander to plant heaven?

So much can change in a year.

Last year at this time, restless though I was, I was filling my calendar for the 2012/2013 church year. I was planning to drive across the state of SC to speak about missions and to educate about issues of human exploitation. I was finalizing details for a large student event and laying the foundation to mentor three teenage girls. I was editing the statewide newsletter, managing Facebook pages, and envisioning ways to make communication stronger. We had just finished posting the summer camp prayer guide and I was starting to write another prayer guide that would carry us through the year.

Then life pushed me into the unknown and God did God’s own pruning--not with Coke Rewards points garden tools on office plants but with the sword of the Spirit, the shield of faith, the gospel of peace, the belt of truth, breastplate of righteousness, and the helmet of salvation in my life.

One year later, instead of educating about human exploitation, I am working on the front lines of fighting it. Instead of laying foundations to mentor three teenage girls, I am laying foundations to mentor over 700 kindergarten through 5th grade students. And instead of writing a prayer guide for missions, I am living those prayers every day. Yet still, I am being led to write…and I am envisioning ways to make communication stronger.

In coming days, I’d like to write a prayer guide for the public school year. I don’t envision writing a different request for every day of the year but I do hope to write a prayer for each day of the week. If you have a request you would like for me to work into the prayers, please let me know. I will do my best to reflect your heart as well. This guide won’t be sent in newsletter form to 12,000 people across the state of SC, but, somehow, I believe it will make a difference.

After all, a lot can change in a year.

Those Dirty Words

Before “Project Help: Human Exploitation,” I wasn’t one to use the words sex, sexting, and pornography. Like the good Southern Baptist preacher’s kid that I am, I found those words taboo. They went with other dirty words like abuse, divorce, homosexuality, abortion, masturbation, and death—words that make most church-goers, and probably many of you, cringe. So I didn’t speak of them very often even though I knew full well what they were. But now I do speak of them. I say those dirty words in the same sentences as God, Jesus, love, creation, redemption, salvation, missions, and life...and I do not flinch.

Last night, for the first time, I closed “Project Help: Human Exploitation” overview with the clear declaration that we must talk about issues of sexuality and sexual ethic in our churches—that we must let our children and teens know that if they have questions about sex or if they have sex—especially if they are forced to have sex—then they can ask or tell us and not be disowned—that we must create a space for men and women who struggle with pornography to admit the struggle and begin to deal with it—that the longer we make issues of sexuality taboo, then the more powerful the “secrecy” of people’s lifestyles is going to become and the more we will exploit humanity through pornography, trafficking, prostitution, sexting, sexual abuse, media, and more. In many ways, sex and issues of sexuality are at the root of human exploitation, and until the church is able to talk openly about these issues rather than cringe at the dirtiness of the words, human exploitation will continue—albeit under the surface of many Christians fighting against it by attacking the symptoms rather than the disease.

After my presentation last night, an older woman came up to me to tell me that she had enjoyed the presentation. While I think it’s ironic to hear people say that have enjoyed a somewhat depressing and heavy presentation, I’m always grateful for the affirmation. This woman continued, though, with tears in her eyes, holding my hands in hers, “People from my generation grew up not talking about sex. It’s so hard. But I know now that we’ve got to talk about it with our children and grandchildren. Thank you.” I don’t remember what I said. I was so struck by her words and the sincere tears in her eyes that they are all I remember.

Oh people of God, we must stop running from dirty words and make them holy by bringing them into light! May each of us be so moved by a conviction of God’s spirit that we have the courage cry humble tears, face our fears, stretch beyond discomfort, and speak healthy truth. Amen.

Pray, Educate, and Advocate For Spoons?

Have you ever mis-communicated with someone? Maybe you were trying to do too many things at once and couldn't properly focus on the conversation? Or maybe you just genuinely heard something wrong?

Take, for instance, trying to write a research paper while having a conversation about the pictures your best friend just downloaded from her phone. Say that you are researching how to support missionaries in a foreign country while your friend is talking about how she has helped organize her kitchen. You are so focused on your research paper that you don't hear her say, "Do you think the spoons are out of place?" and instead say, "Pray. Educate. And Advocate!" "Pray, educate, and advocate for spoons?" she says. "No?" you say. But...it's certainly what you answer because you aren't paying attention.

Or, say, for instance, someone asks you to buy twelve and a half dozen eggs. You say, "Twelve and a half dozen eggs?!" She says, "Yeh. Twelve and a half dozen eggs." You say, "You're sure. Twelve and a half dozen eggs?" She says, "Yes." So you buy twelve and a half dozen eggs--150 eggs--only to have most of them thrown away because you buy way too many eggs because someone only needs 18 eggs. In her mind, she was telling you to buy 12 eggs + 6 eggs (a half dozen), but in your mind you heard twelve and a half dozen.

Communication is a tricky thing and miscommunication is very easy! So, when communicating, make sure:

1) You focus on the conversation instead of doing too many things at once.

2) You understand the perspective of the person you are talking to. Ask questions when needed.

Jesus was a good listener and communicator. Let us be the same.