Defining Moments: FBC Erwin Times Three

“I hope you’re paying attention to this,” Lori declared. “You need to know how it’s done so that you can marry my girls when they get married.”

“I’m not ordained,” I replied, “so I can’t marry your girls.”

Looking somewhat surprised and confused, “You’re not ordained?”

“Nope.”

“Do you want to be?”

“Yes.”

“Then we’ll ordain you. Consider it done.”

And. Well. It’s done.

…

For a long time, I wouldn’t even consider working at a church. I knew too much about church politics to willingly subject myself to church ministry, and yet I somehow found myself applying for a youth ministry job in the spring of 2001. I honestly don’t remember who or what convinced me to apply for the job, but I did.

So when the music minister at FBC Erwin, Teresa, told me that her church was looking for a youth minister as well, I thought to myself, “What the heck. I’ve already applied for one job. Why not just go on and apply for this one, too.” I remember that moment and decision quite vividly—standing among my music teaching colleagues in Teresa’s then brand new office.

The interview at the first church went fine. It was a lead-the-youth-for-a-trial-lesson-and-then-answer-some-questions event. They wanted to know what I could offer their church and I told them. Nothing tricky. No curveballs. I walked away feeling fine.

The interview at FBC Erwin, though, was a doozy. After figuring out where I was supposed to be in the church, I made my way to a large conference table surrounded by lots of people. I sat down and the interview began and I found myself answering all kinds of questions—and these questions weren’t about what I could offer the church. These questions were about me. They probed by thoughts on God and the church and hit all kinds of hot topics. At one point, after the pastor asked what I’d do if one of the youth came to me struggling with same-gender attraction and I’d emphatically answered that I’d first let the kid know that he/she was loved—period—and that I’d then go from there—everyone took an audible breath—realizing how deeply intense the interview had become. I think it surprised all of us. But it was a good surprise that I really appreciated. It’s always good to know who you are working with—not just what they say they can do for you.

Walking back to my car, I found myself passing through the sanctuary alone. For those of you who know the layout of FBC Erwin, then you know that the sanctuary is in a separate building from the conference table and that it is not at all necessary to pass through it to get to the parking lot. But I didn’t know that at the time, so I went back to my car the same way that I had come, and I suddenly found myself so overwhelmed by God’s presence that I fell on my knees and wept. In that moment, I knew that I had found the place from which I’d been running.

…

I worked at FBC Erwin for three years. I led the church’s women’s retreats for many years after that. I visit with the people whenever I can—speaking, singing, or playing handbells. And I’m still in touch with most of my youth and/or their parents. In fact, I was at my youngest youth’s wedding whenever the conversation from above occurred!

After giving my testimony at the church’s business meeting last night and after hearing that the church had overwhelmingly and enthusiastically approved my ordination, I found myself moved to tears by the reality of it all. I am a public school music teacher. I am a part-time music minister. I am not working in full-time vocational ministry nor do I have a secret plan to be doing so sometime soon.

And yet…fourteen years later, the church that called me out of my pattern of running has called me out as minister.

I am deeply humbled. And grateful. And somewhat in awe of the fact that Lori decided what needed to be done and actually made it happen.

***The date and time of Little (future) Reverend Deaton’s ordination service are in the process of being determined. I’ll make an official announcement when details are hashed out.***

Defining Moments: Coffee, Coffee, Coffee

Tonight after making a somewhat embarrassing attempt to lead the Vacation Bible School theme song, I sat down near Patrick for the rest of opening celebration. During the missions video, after an image of a cup of coffee appeared, this conversation occurred:

Me: “Oh that looks good. I just realized that I haven’t had any caffeine today.”
Patrick, laughing: “I drank an entire pot of coffee by myself this morning.”
Me, taking in that information: “Wait. I’ve actually only had water.”
Patrick: “Wow. That’s impressive.”
Me: “I didn’t mean to!”
And then we both laughed.

Growing up, I always wanted to drink coffee. Coffee commercials made coffee look so good, and the smell of coffee was so appealing. And yet, I just didn’t like it. Even after going to coffee shops with my big sister in college, I still hadn’t acquired a taste for sophisticated liquid energy. I always went for orange soda or hot chocolate while inwardly wishing that I liked coffee.

Then I met Kyle.

Kyle was one of my youth when I was a youth minister a decade ago. When he was in high school, Kyle had this dream of opening a coffee shop. While the details are hazy now, I remember him talking about his coffee shop a lot and I remember thinking that I hoped he accomplished his goal because I could tell it would make him happy.

The second summer I took my youth to summer camp, Kyle couldn’t attend with us because he was North Carolina Governor’s School East. During free time one day, in Kyle’s honor, I decided to buy myself a frozen coffee drink at the coffee shop at Ridgecrest. Much to my surprise, I liked it.

And therein started my beginning in the delightful world of coffee.

Very slowly, I have moved from frozen coffee drinks to iced coffee to hot coffee—from drinks with only a hint of coffee to straight up coffee with only cream and sugar—I’m still not able to do black. Today, mostly because I’m very bad at drinking hot beverages—almost as bad as I am at leading choreography—I still prefer iced or frozen coffee—I don’t have to worry about burning my tongue—but I can drink light, medium, or dark roasts with or without flavoring.

I can now see coffee commercials and smell coffee brewing and sit with friends at coffee shops and be fully content. In fact, I cannot count the number of times that I have shared coffee with friends and family members since the day that I took that leap of coffee faith in honor of Kyle. Had I not chosen to try that drink that day, then I may have missed some of the best conversations of my life.

Thanks, Kyle, for being an all around great person and coffee ambassador. And thank you for unknowingly giving me one of the defining moments of my life.