Oil Spots

 

I was sitting in the parking lot at Lidl on Sunday morning

When I looked ahead at the empty parking spaces

And noticed just how many oil and fluid stains there were!

 

I thought to myself,

A lot of people’s cars must leak oil and fluids!

I hope mine is not one of them. 

 

I’m a 5000 mile oil change girl.

I get the multi point inspection and probably let the Toyota place suck me in to getting things done that I don’t really need. 

I would like to think that they’re not taking advantage of me because I am a woman

But maybe they are.

I just know that I feel better when I feel like my car is maintained

Even though, really, it could break down just as easily as any other vehicle.

 

I recently had to get tires. 

I did actually need them. 

They weren’t completely bald and I probably could’ve gotten some more use out of the ones I had,

But bad weather and travel were coming

So I went on and got them. 

 

In the process,

I realized just what a privilege it is to be able to get new tires

And to maintain my oil and fluids every 5000 miles. 

Car maintenance is expensive and time consuming. 

Some people don’t have the money to do routine maintenance while

Other people don’t have the time. 

Some people must choose between putting food on the table and getting their car serviced while 

Other people must choose between spending time family duties and sitting at the shop because they don’t have anyone to come pick them up or because they don’t have anyone to sit with the kids. 

To have a little bit of money in savings to cover tires and other expenses—

To have the time to sit and wait and do work—

These things are a privilege. 

And I don’t have them for granted. 

Not in these days. 

Not in these times. 

Not at this moment in history 

When it seems that life as we know it is quickly changing. 

 

May we not take simple things for granted. 

Oil changes. 

Fluid top offs. 

Tires. 

Smiles. 

Kindnesses. 

Open parking spaces. 

Hugs. 

Laughter. 

The ability to work. 

The ability to wait. 

Safety. 

And cars.

 

In so many ways,

We are a blessed people. 

Let us use our blessings to bless others 

And to help them keep their cars and lives maintained. 

 

Let us see less oil and fluid stains 

And more marks of love. 

 

Amen. 

 

Heightened Emotions

 

Last week, 

When I parked my car to go into Starbucks, 

I parked beside another car. 

Crazy, huh? 

Even though I was in my parking space,

I opened the door carefully to make sure not to bump the car beside me.

 

As I was getting my cup to go in,

I heard someone beating on the window of the mattress store in front of me 

And frantically pointing at me as if something was very wrong.

I looked and didn’t see anything weird,

But the next thing I knew the guy was coming out of the store to speak with me!

He exclaimed, “Please do not let your car door touch the car beside you.”

I looked and it was not touching the car beside me, so I said, 

“It’s not.”

He said, “It was! We saw it!”

Annoyed, and someone shaken by the confrontation,

And afraid that the customer that the mattress store worker was defending would come out before I had finished my coffee 

And intentionally open his door to hit and dent my car,

I moved my car all together. 

 

Now, if the car would have been a brand new, expensive, spotless, scratchless, and dentless car,

Then I might have understood the disrespect with which I was spoken to.

Maybe.

But it was an old Nissan with plenty of wear and tear.

There was no reason for the owner to be that concerned about someone gently opening her car door to get out. 

I didn’t dent his car.

I didn’t scratch it. 

I didn’t have my key out, actively keying the side of the car.

But that mattress store worker sure made me feel like I had done something really bad and wrong.

 

We live in a society of heightened emotion,

Where the smallest things cause the biggest reactions

And insignificant things escalate to the point of violence. 

 

May we be a people who know when to argue back and when to walk away.

And may we somehow balance out the crazy with our sense of peace. 

 

Amen. 

 

---

 

By the way,

I don’t understand the point of the mattress stores in general, 

And I’ve hardly ever seen anybody in that particular store at all. 

But I can guarantee you that I will not set foot in that store to buy a mattress after being scolded by one of the workers

For an infraction that I did not commit.

Dirty Car

 

I spend a lot of time in my car.

Despite my best efforts to keep it clean,

The mess inside sometimes gets out of control.

This has been the case recently.

 

It started back in March when I went on a weekend retreat.

I took my keyboard, keyboard stand, guitar, and guitar stand,

And then I was too lazy to unload them when I returned home.

After a couple of days, knowing that I was going to need the instruments again in a month,

I decided to just leave them in the car,

This decision meant taking down the trashcan from the back of the passenger’s seat and

Not having access to the back passenger’s-side seat at all.

This reality meant cramming everything into the back driver’s-side seat

Or into the cracks of the cargo space.

And boy did I have it crammed with

Papers, hats, shoes, clothes, tins, bags, programs, a French horn, trash, and more.

 

Thankfully, after my April retreat,

A friend came to the house to help me unload.

She knew that I would be exhausted and not want to do it,

So she showed up and propelled me forward.

We unloaded all the big instruments and did a quick clean of accumulated trash,

But we left the little stuff—

Papers, hats, shoes, clothes, tins, bags, programs, and more.

We also returned the trash can and put up the backseat.

 

On Saturday, my parents rode with me to my nephew’s soccer game.

Before we left, I consolidated all the “stuff” into the back driver’s-side seat.

Little did I know that when we’d get to the game,

My brother would walk to the car to greet us,

It would begin to pour down rain,

And we would need to make a place for my brother to sit.

 

As he was throwing a field day change of clothes, my bookbag, a hat, a raincoat, a stuffed animal, a world map, and seven pages of French horn music to the cargo area,

My brother joked, “My goodness, Dee. Are you living out of your car?!”

I was slightly embarrassed because I knew the car was dirty,

And I hadn’t been prepared to take in a passenger.

 

I think this is how it is with our lives sometimes.

We get so busy and accustomed to living with our messiness  

That we aren’t prepared to offer help when someone outside us needs help.

…

 

May this week be the week that we clean out our cars

And hearts

And minds

And make the space for others

When they need us.

 

Amen.

Defining Moments: I Think I'll Ride A Bike Now

10 Nesmith Street
Tabor City, NC 28463
910-653-2216

Such was my address and phone number for most of my childhood.
And what a wonderful place to grow up:
A dead end street lined with beautiful live oak trees,
Not much traffic,
Children laughing,
Building forts in the woods,
Jumping in pools and on trampolines,
Playing basketball and football,
Having wars with cap-guns,
Running to the railroad tracks to wave at the conductor…

Nesmith Street began with railroad tracks and ended with a forest.
While I realize, now, that this probably wasn’t a great idea,
We—the Nesmith Street Gang—spent a lot of time racing on the railroad tracks and leaving coins to be squished by the train.
We also made it a point to race for the train tracks when we heard the conductor blowing his whistle.

We had a childhood fascination with seeing the conductor wave at us,
So I suppose it only makes sense that on the day that
Everyone else hopped on their bikes and raced to the end of the street,
Leaving little Dee running behind in their dust,
Little Dee decided that it was time to learn to ride a bike.

At the boundary of my childhood paradise,
where the railroad tracks hugged Nesmith Street,
having missed the conductor’s wave,
I, Little Dee, began learning to ride a bike right then and there.
It didn’t take long.
I picked it up like a childhood pro.
(Or at least I think I did?)
And before long I had my very own BMX-ish-like bike and
was riding with the rest of the gang.

As I got older and my world expanded beyond Nesmith Street,
My bicycle took me there.
I rode to the church.
I rode to the school on workdays.
I rode to see friends.
I even rode to the next town over.
My bicycle gave me flight
Until my car expanded the world beyond two wheels.

My favorite professional artist, Fabio Napoleoni,
Has a painting entitled “Sometimes I Miss My Childhood,”

And sometimes, dear friends, I do:
Not much traffic,
A lot of laughing,
Building forts in the woods,
Jumping in pools and on trampolines,
Playing basketball and football,
Having wars with cap-guns, and
Riding bikes to the railroad tracks with the very best of friends.

Holy Cow Exploding Sunroof

Dee’s car
Gigi The White Ant
2000 Toyota Avalon
262,000+ miles
No sunroof

Dad’s car
The Highlander
2013 Toyota Avalon
22,000 miles
Sunroof

-----

January 2013
Caraway Retreat Center
Introduced to a new game: iAssociate
The weekend changed my life

June 2013
Mom’s 70th Birthday Party
Mom given a nice gift: mini iPad
Dee introduces mom to iAssociate

-----

July 2014

Remember that time you were driving 70mph down Interstate 95 and your sunroof exploded?

Friend: Holy cow! Are you guys okay?

Me: Yes. It sounded like an exploding gun! We looked at each other like, “What was that?!” The car was driving fine, so I didn’t think it was a tire. The windshield was in tact. The roof was in tact. But then I heard a wind sound from above, so I cracked the sunroof lid and saw glass shards. I said, “The sunroof exploded!” Then we heard little pieces of glass flying behind us. Mom said, “We should have taken your car!”

Friend: Holy cow!!!

Me: Yeh. I was just driving along. Mom and I were trying to think of a seven letter word associated with both “golf” and “green” that started with B. We later figured out it was bunker. Ha. We were playing iAssociate.

-----

So what does one do when one’s sunroof explodes?

Wonder no longer:
• Clean up the glass shards as soon as possible. If you are able to go home, then go home and use the shop-vac that you should have either in your garage or somewhere where you can easily access it. Every home should have a shop-vac. If you are on a long road trip, then heed your brother’s advice and find a gas station with a pay-as-you-go vacuum cleaner. Chip off and get rid of as many loose pieces of glass as you can. Be careful not to cut your hand. If you cut your hand, use your car’s first-aid kit to tend your wound.
• Park your car under a carport or in a garage if possible. If not, cover the gaping hole in your car’s head with a tarp or plastic table cloth in case of rain, tropical storm/hurricane, or climbing cat. Secure the cover in the doors of your vehicle.
• Do not contact the car dealership. Though this is becoming a growing problem, car companies are not treating this as an issue for recall or factory fix. Instead, contact your insurance company and file a glass claim.
• Be prepared to pay your deductible directly to your insurance company. Most companies will accept most major credit or debit cards. Then be grateful that you have insurance because the total price of sunroof replacement is at least $1000. Also be prepared with a mom or a psychic to answer your dad’s insurance company security questions in case your dad is in Armenia and has absolutely no idea that his sunroof has exploded and that he has filed a claim.
• Follow your insurance company’s procedures for glass replacement. For example: after fifty minutes on the phone, Matt from Michigan connected me with a lovely sunroof replacement shop in Jacksonville. He over-night shipped the glass piece to James from Jacksonville and James from Jacksonville replaced the sunroof in fifteen minutes. He said that he replaces 7-10 busted sunroofs per month. His coverage area is from Savannah, GA to Gainsville, FL. Both Matt from Michigan and James from Jacksonville were very friendly and lovely to work with. Hope that you are able to work such helpful people during your sunroof explosion emergency.

-----

The Highlander is officially out of the bunker, folks.

But holy cow.

I am now quite afraid of sunroofs and
glad that Gigi The White Ant does not have one and
more grateful than ever to have the
ability, opportunity, resources, support, and freedom to
fix what I know to be a first-world problem
in a society where there are ever increasing third-world needs.