November 12th

 I woke up yesterday morning and noticed it was November 12^th.

At first, I didn’t realize the significance of the date,

But then I remembered:

November 12^th is the anniversary of the day that my friend and mentor, Kay Simpson, died.

 

I went to church with my band that morning in 2006.

We were warming up and preparing to lead worship when

We looked up and saw Kay at the back of the church.

Kay had been sick for a few days,

So we were surprised to see her.

She slowly made her way down the aisle and sat on the front pew,

Listening to us play all along.

She closed her eyes,

Held her hands in a receiving position,

And sat for a few moments taking it all in.

When it came time for her to leave,

We asked if she needed someone to take or follow her home.

She declined the invitation,

Said she’d be fine,

And quietly left before anyone else could arrive at church.

 

That was the last time anyone saw Kay.

She died that night.

Her enlarged heart had enlarged so much that

It finally gave out.

 

The days, weeks, and years following Kay’s death were hard on me.

The sights, smells, and memories often overwhelmed me

And left me feeling such a deep grief that I couldn’t function.

Yet now, 17 years later, while I still feel the sting of her loss and

Still remember sights, smells, and memories just like they were yesterday,

I am finally okay.

 

Grief is an odd thing.

It comes and goes on its own terms

And sometimes it leaves us flat on our backs in tears.

But sometimes, it’s just a tiny whisper about the date—

Telling us that there is something for us to remember—

Someone for whom we should stop and be grateful.

 

I am thankful for grief’s gentle nudge yesterday.

And I am grateful for Kay Simpson

And the impact that she had on my life as a minister and friend.

Amen.

Teacher Appreciation Week

 

This week is teacher appreciation week.

 

I will appreciate the food, gift cards, t-shirt, words of encouragement, and whatever else is coming my way.

 

I will be thankful to have a salaried job with job security (as much as any job is secure these days), affordable health insurance, cafeteria benefits, retirement options, paid time off, time to travel (or work) during the summers, and the ability to influence the lives of children (and adults) every day.

 

But I will not be thankful for or feel appreciated by the harsh reality that my salary will not increase for the next ten years—not even to account for inflation—and that when it does, it will only increase by $2000—and that’s for over 25 years of teaching experience!

                                   

I will not be thankful for or feel appreciated by the truth that my master’s degrees are not recognized as worthy of additional compensation.

 

And I will not be thankful for or feel appreciated by the fact that experience, age, and wisdom are not valued in a system that needs each of these things to properly function.

 

I understand that budgeting isn’t easy. I understand that school systems are some of the largest employers in the state. I understand that it takes billions of dollars to pay school system employees. But I don’t understand why educators in North Carolina, one of the fastest growing states in the country—especially educators with experience—are so undervalued and under-respected.

 

So…during this Teacher Appreciation Week…appreciate the educators in your life, yes. But also consider writing your State Representatives and demanding that something change in the way that NC Teacher Salaries are determined—especially for experienced teachers. Many experienced teachers feel stuck—having given so many years of their lives to a career that suddenly overlooks them but not knowing how to begin a new career so late in the game. Consider writing your County Commissioners and encouraging them to increase the local supplement offered by the County School Systems—especially for experienced teachers. Consider praying that state and local leaders will have the wisdom to distribute funding in an equitable way. And consider doing something with your church or civic groups for the teachers at your local schools…just because.

 

Teaching is a rewarding job. No other career affords such rich opportunities for influencing and growing future generations. But teaching is also a tough job…and it’s getting tougher…so let’s make sure we value our teachers today.

 

Dear God: Thank you for teachers. Give them endurance, strength, and a sense of purpose that transcends human understanding. And help us, God, to honor them with our words and our actions today and every day. Amen.    

Light Bearers and Torch Snuffers

I went to school to de-personalize my room today. It was kind of depressing—packing up all of the things that make the room comfortable. And it was kind of confusing—trying to figure out what was essential vs. non-essential. I never did figure out the stapler and staple remover. After “work,” I took a load to the thrift store and went to the grocery store. I am the primary errand runner in the family now. I don’t like my mom and dad going out because, well, Covid. When I got home, I was tired and feeling a little…sad. But I had mail! My spirits lifted a bit. Then I opened my mail and my spirits lifted a lot. “Dear Deanna, Enclosed is a small gift from Trinity’s love fund, for each of the teachers affiliated with Trinity. We want to offer our support during this difficult time. Please use this however you see fit. I pray for God’s peace and guidance for you and your loved ones. In Christ, Pastor Ann” Wow. Just. Wow. A simple gesture, but one that means the world to me— A teacher, Thought of, prayed for, and supported because of the work I do, Will do, In a crazy and uncertain world. God, on days that are dreary—literally and figuratively— Thank you for rays of light—tangible and emotional— That brighten the world. Help us to be light-bearers rather than torch snuffers. Always. Amen.

Happy Whatever-fraction-it-is Birthday

Today is one of my friend’s birthdays. It’s another’s half birthday. And it’s yet another’s 2/3 birthday.

Don’t ask me why I do this, because I don’t know, but I wish two of these friends a happy whatever-fraction-it-is birthday every 27th of the month.

I always get excited when I realize it’s the 27th. I find myself calculating and reducing fractions, usually first thing in the morning, and sending happy whatever-fraction-it-is birthday to my friends. They always smile and say thank you in response. Sometimes we chat for a few minutes. Sometimes they write me on my whatever-fraction-it-is birthday, and I smile and thank them in return. It’s a nice little exchange. And it’s something so very, very simple…

I’ve been doing okay with thoughts of returning to school. Even though mostly everything is uncertain—including what I’ll be teaching and in what space I’ll be teaching it—I’ve been practicing being present in these moments rather than letting the uncertainty take control of me. But this morning, while texting a friend, I broke down and cried at the overwhelming nature of it all.

And then I remembered that it’s the 27th. I smiled. It’s a friend’s birthday. It’s another friend’s half birthday. It’s another friend’s 2/3 birthday. There is reason for celebration today.

Don’t worry. I didn’t deny my tears. I let them flow until they were ready to stop. I fully felt the angst that I was feeling. But then I tried to do what scripture asks us to do: “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

Friends: May you find reason to celebrate today. And may you start wishing your people happy whatever-fraction-it-is birthday. Everyone needs to know that they are cause for celebration at different points throughout the year…because sometimes, a lot of times, the people in our lives are the biggest reasons we have to give thanks. Give thanks today, friends. Amen. And amen.