A Great Battle

Heidi the Librarian sends out a “getting to know you” sheet to the Encore team each year.

One of the questions is “What is your favorite quote?”

My favorite quote, for years, has been lyrics from Sara Groves’s song, “Add To The Beauty.”

“Redemption comes in strange places, small spaces, calling out the best of who we are. And I want to add to the beauty, to tell a better story. Shine with the light that’s burning up inside. And this is grace, an invitation to be beautiful. This is grace, an invitation…”

 

But recently, I’ve been thinking of changing my quote to a shorter statement

That has a couple of variations and no direct source:

Be kind to everyone you meet, for everyone is fighting a great battle.

 

Within the last few months,

I have talked with people who are struggling with:

Financial debts that make them feel so heavy that they can’t breathe,

Unexpected house renovations and family displacement,

A young child acting out at home and at school,

A teenage child battling with disordered eating,

A teenage child having seizures for the first time,

An adult child whose autism will never allow him to live alone,

Mortality and aging,

Sustained and long-term grief,

Company changes that will likely lead to leaving,

Disrespect and lack of trust from colleagues and friends,

Walking on eggshells at home, waiting for the next outburst,

A divorced partner who drives drunk with the kids.

 

And the thing is:

No one would know these things upon first look.

We’d hear

“I’m good,” when we ask,

And we’d see

Smiles, hard-work, determination, and kindness when we glance.

 

Oh God: Help us truly to be kind to everyone we meet, for everyone we know is fighting a great battle. Help us, through listening, praying, crying, thinking, giving, hugging, or whatever else we can do, to be true friends who help carry one another’s burdens in this life. And God? Fight these battles with us and help us to win. Amen.

Context Matters

Yesterday, as my parents and I traveled to and from my nephew’s basketball game in Apex, we listened to the Broadway station on satellite radio. Some of the songs were familiar. Most of the songs were not. Some of the songs made sense. Most of the songs did not. Out of context, even the most celebrated songs can be misinterpreted and misjudged.

Context is important. Overarching storyline matters. When we hear only part of a conversation but have no idea its context, we often misinterpret the words and read into them our own version of reality. When we read only parts of scripture but have no idea of the larger narrative, we often misinterpret the words and read into them our own version of truth.

One summer, while working at camp, I heard only part of a conversation. I heard that I needed to buy twelve and a half dozen eggs but had no idea what I was buying them for. Even after questioning the amount, I still blindly went to the store and bought twelve and a half dozen eggs. Come to find out, we only needed 18 eggs for an egg dropping competition. 132 extra eggs went to waste…because I didn’t understand the context of the part of the larger conversation I had heard.

Thankfully, buying too many eggs didn’t damage someone’s reputation. But hearing things out of context most certainly can. Thankfully, buying too many eggs didn’t lead to scriptural abuse. But reading scripture out of context, most certainly can.

May we be a people who do not settle for bits and pieces of muddy information but who seek the entire picture of contextual truth. It may take a bit of time to put things into context, but that time is well worth the effort when it leads to clear understanding of what is being seen and heard.

Oh God: Help us. Amen. And Amen.

Pay Attention

I think it’s an unspoken understanding that we, as humans, want other people to pay attention to us. Though sometimes we many want to remain unnoticed, most of time we want to be seen and heard. Children demonstrate this fact loudly and openly when they act out to receive attention. Teenagers demonstrate this fact loudly and openly when they film themselves doing ridiculous stunts in hopes of becoming a YouTube sensation. Adults demonstrate this fact loudly and openly when we leave passive-aggressive or cryptic messages on Facebook. Truth be told, sometimes the lines of action between children, teenagers, and adults get crossed so blurrily that adults end up acting out like children.

As a human teacher, then, it’s no surprise that I want my students to pay attention to me. I want them to listen and learn and I want them to gain knowledge and information that will help shape their lives in a positive way. This is always my hope—to be heard—but oftentimes I get the impression that my students hear more of the teacher in Charlie Brown than they do me…especially when it comes to the morning announcements.

So this afternoon when one of my students repeated something I’d said on this morning’s announcements, I smiled.

I gave a shout-out to a 2nd grade boy who showed kindness yesterday. He was one of my helpers but sat down and started to find his page number before realizing that he’d forgotten to give his neighbor a book. Just as he got up to get the missing book, he realized that he could give her his book—open to the proper page—and get himself another book. He was very sweet and chivalrous with his actions and had no idea that I was watching him. I told that little

Just as today’s helpers were finishing book distribution, one of my helpers came to my desk and said, “I forgot to give Alex a book so I gave him mine and got myself another one.” I inwardly smiled and said, “Well that was very nice of you. You just showed kindness, just like I gave a shout-out for on the announcements this morning.” She proudly nodded her head, grinned, and walked back to her seat.

Just the other day, I posted a Stephen Sondheim quote that says, "Careful the things you say; Children will listen. Careful the things you do; Children will see and learn. Children may not obey, but children will listen. Children will look to you for which way to turn; To learn what to be. Careful before you say 'Listen to me’; Children will listen."

They really do listen.
They really do pay attention.
And they really do just want us to pay attention to them.
And they are us.
And we are them.
Children. Teenagers. Adults.
Wanting to be seen and heard.

Pray, Educate, and Advocate For Spoons?

Have you ever mis-communicated with someone? Maybe you were trying to do too many things at once and couldn't properly focus on the conversation? Or maybe you just genuinely heard something wrong?

Take, for instance, trying to write a research paper while having a conversation about the pictures your best friend just downloaded from her phone. Say that you are researching how to support missionaries in a foreign country while your friend is talking about how she has helped organize her kitchen. You are so focused on your research paper that you don't hear her say, "Do you think the spoons are out of place?" and instead say, "Pray. Educate. And Advocate!" "Pray, educate, and advocate for spoons?" she says. "No?" you say. But...it's certainly what you answer because you aren't paying attention.

Or, say, for instance, someone asks you to buy twelve and a half dozen eggs. You say, "Twelve and a half dozen eggs?!" She says, "Yeh. Twelve and a half dozen eggs." You say, "You're sure. Twelve and a half dozen eggs?" She says, "Yes." So you buy twelve and a half dozen eggs--150 eggs--only to have most of them thrown away because you buy way too many eggs because someone only needs 18 eggs. In her mind, she was telling you to buy 12 eggs + 6 eggs (a half dozen), but in your mind you heard twelve and a half dozen.

Communication is a tricky thing and miscommunication is very easy! So, when communicating, make sure:

1) You focus on the conversation instead of doing too many things at once.

2) You understand the perspective of the person you are talking to. Ask questions when needed.

Jesus was a good listener and communicator. Let us be the same.