Not A Terrible Year

 

I'm going to say something that might not be very popular, but...

 

2020 hasn't been a terrible year for me. 

 

It's been challenging. It's been very different than any other year. I will remember the year that we experienced a world-wide pandemic. But it's not been a terrible year that I'm desperate to see end. 

 

Crazy, I know. But it's true.

 

I've actually enjoyed being forced to slow down and examine what is truly essential in life. I've enjoyed making meals at home with my mom and dad. I've enjoyed getting some things cleaned out of the house. I've enjoyed catching up with a few friends in person and many friends via text and Facebook. I've enjoyed having counseling via telehealth rather than having to drive to Raleigh and get stuck in Raleigh traffic every other week. I've enjoyed going to the grocery store to buy groceries every week. I've enjoyed lying in my hammock. I've enjoyed not feeling obligated to be in ten places at once. I've enjoyed officiating tiny weddings. I've even sort of enjoyed the challenge of figuring out how to teach in new ways (but not completely--because it's been really hard). 

 

Yet I find myself feeling guilty for saying that I've enjoyed anything during a year where so many people have enjoyed nothing.  It brings to light the fact that I am a person of privilege—privileged to have a steady job, reliable transportation, safe housing, a loving family, solid friends, and decent health. Not everyone can say the same.  

 

Truthfully, my heart breaks because of this. For inequality and injustice. And for the numerous people carrying the weights of grief and loss. Just yesterday, I spent the day moving a friend out of her house, feeling the tension of divorce. I am exhausted today. The weight of it all hurts deeply--physically, spiritually, and emotionally. The year hasn't been kind to so many people. I feel the ramifications of this reality. And yet, I must confess, through it all, I am okay.

 

What about you? Through it all, are you okay?

 

There are have many bad things in 2020. Sorrow, tragedy, heartache, disappointment. But there have also been many good things this year. Elation, new life, healing, hope.

 

Where do you fall in your judgment of this weird time? What will you remember about your year?