Helpless

 

The first time she swerved into the other lane, I thought it was an accident. 

 

The first time she served off the road and into the grass, I thought she had just over-corrected from swerving into the other lane. 

 

But then it happened again. And again. And again. And I knew that something was wrong. I had no idea what to do. I wasn't sure if calling 911 would do any good before disaster struck. So I simply kept my distance and prayed that I wouldn't witness a horrific head-on collision.  

 

I knew that things weren't going to be good when we got to town. The chances of her making it through town without causing a wreck were slim to none. And sure enough, at the very first stop light, she stopped for a moment, but then decided to run the light. As she did, she caught the front drivers' side of a young lady turning left. The young lady stopped her damaged-but-drivable car in the middle of the road, obviously angry. The erratic driver swerved to the right, off the road, and just missed a telephone pole. Her car steamed from its injuries. 

 

Thankfully, everyone was okay. It was early on a Sunday morning, so there wasn't a lot of traffic. The incident didn't cause further incident, and the woman, high as a kite, was stopped without fatality.

 

But still, I felt helpless.

 

I suppose that's why I've dreamed of being helpless for the past two nights. Helpless is one of of the worst feelings in the world to me. Seeing someone swerving all over the road in real life. Watching your loved ones fall into a chasm and not being able to rescue them in your dream. Helpless. Helpless. Helpless.

 

What about you? What are the feelings that are the worst in the world to you? What are the feelings that you just can't shake for awhile after having them?

 

Oh God. When we are helpless, or experiencing any other feelings of angst, You still Are. Even when we don't understand. Even when we struggle to believe. You still Are. Thank you. Amen.