F vs. T

 

I'm an F. Relationships are the most important thing in my life. All of my decisions are filtered through the lens of relationship.

 

I have a friend who is a T.  Raw facts and logic are what drive her. All of her decisions are based on the black and white of a situation. 

 

Being an F is not better than being a T. Being a T is not better than being an F. They are just fundamentally different ways of making decisions.

 

For some of us, our F or our T is our dominant function. It develops in us before anything else. It is what we naturally do. It is what we are best at. 

 

The catch is this: For every dominant function, there is an equally inferior function. Therefore, if the F or T is the dominant function, then the other is the inferior function--what develops last, what we don't naturally do, what we are worst at. 

 

My inferior function is my T. I am not good at making decisions based on raw facts and logic. I do not see things in black and white. I have trouble making decisions without taking relationships into account first.  

 

My friend's inferior function is her F. She is not good at making decisions based on how they will affect the people in her life. As such, she sometimes comes across as harsh or brash. She's not necessarily trying to be. She's just making decisions based on impersonal data.  

 

As we get older, if we are truly on a journey toward growth and maturity, then our inferior function will strengthen. We will gain more command of it and learn how to better use it. If, however, we are not on a journey toward growth and maturity, then our inferior function will remain the same and we will remain stagnant in our ability to make decisions.  

 

As I've gotten older, I've learned more of how to make decisions using raw facts and logic. It takes time. It takes effort. It is very often uncomfortable--especially when I know that my decision may not be popular. It is not easy for me.  But I can do it. And I must do it if I am to make difficult decisions. 

 

As my friend has gotten older, she has learned how to make decisions based on how they will affect relationships. It takes time. It takes effort. It is very often uncomfortable for her--especially when she makes a decision that goes against logic. It is not easy for her. But she can do it. And she must do it if she is not to burn all bridges in her life.  

 

Dear Friends...I don't know what you are, an F or a T. But I know this: I hope that you now have a better understanding of the difference between the two and that you can now see the fundamental dichotomy that they present. When someone says or does something you don't understand, take a minute to ask: Could they be filtering their decision through a lens that I don't naturally filter my decisions through? If so, can I try to understand where they are coming from? Can I try to be a picture of the grace that God so freely extends me? 

 

Don't get me wrong. Being a T isn't an excuse for being a jerk, just as being an F isn't an excuse for always being a people pleaser. But maybe, just maybe, even in our differences and shortcomings, we can start the journey toward being our best selves, dominant and inferior functions alike.