Last week in Phoenix, Laurie, Donna, Sandra, and I talked a lot about food. We learned that, in general, I’m the most food-adventurous…except when it comes to cantaloupe. I really don’t like cantaloupe. I was served cantaloupe during an Acteens New Start consultation once. After a brief moment of panic, wondering how I was going to eat the cantaloupe without it making me sick, I realized that if I paired one bite of cantaloupe with one bite of strawberry then the taste was bearable. The good overshadowed the bad. I think, in the end, that it’s the same way with life.
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I like to leave my apartment clean—especially if I’m traveling a substantial distance. One of my friends likes to do the same with her house. Whenever she leaves for a trip, she does what she calls the “death clean.” In case something happens to her on the trip, she wants her house to be in order. I’ve started doing the same—and leaving the apartment clean in case my landlord needs to do some work while I’m gone. After getting home from Phoenix, I pretty much crashed. I dumped out my suitcase, found my phone charger and medicine, and then went to sleep for a long time. After a bit of rest, I decided to go home and surprise my dad for Father’s Day. I threw some of my stuff back into my bag, tidied the mess I’d made the day before, and left. I didn’t do a full clean because I was only going to be gone a short time.
A little while later, I received a text from my landlord. He asked if he could rent my apartment for the night. His family had come into town for a family reunion and he needed some extra space for them to lay their heads. The one time I don’t fully clean my apartment is the one time it is needed. Figures. It reminds me of the verses of scripture that tell us that we don’t know when Christ will return—that we should always be ready. And we should. As should we always be grateful when the landlord knocks a bit of money off of your rent AND washes your sheets and remakes your bed for you.
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The more I think about it, the more certain I am that we all just want to be part of a narrative that we support and believe in. We all want a story in which we belong and a place of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual peace where we can exist.
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I did a church visit yesterday. While I knew it was Father’s Day and that it was the Pastor’s last day at the church, I didn’t know the emotional climate I was walking into or what the morning would hold. The service was actually very normal. There was nothing special to honor the pastor, rather the service was focused on fathers (like it likely was in Baptist churches all across the south). Needless to say, I was surprised by all the tears surrounding the pastor’s departure—I found out that his leaving was not forced by men but called for by God—and by the fact that the Father’s Day Message spoke to me.
The pastor read Psalm 1:
1 Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
2 but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.
I heard:
Deanna, you have been walking in step with the wicked, standing in the way of sinners, and sitting in the company of mockers for quite awhile now. You have become extremely skeptical of church and music and worship and people and you have struggled to believe what you know—that I, God, am so much bigger than anything you can comprehend and that I love you. I desire for you to be the non-anxious presence that you desire to be. I desire for you to find the good in all situations—to delight in me and my creation and to listen to my word through the narratives of scripture and everyday life. I want you to be firmly planted by streams of water—water that gives you life—and for your life to produce the fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness that I know you desire to produce. I want the good that you want because I know that the good that you want comes from the good that is me. Breathe. Relax. Rest. Open your eyes to the beauty around you and try to release the tension and worry that knots your shoulders and furrows your brow. You don’t have to try to so hard to find all the answers. The joy is in the journey…and I want you to prosper and be blessed.
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