A Few Things We Need To Know About Each Other

Think about the body of Christ. Each part makes up the whole. Each piece of the system—the body of Christ—is part of the whole, so each individual piece affects the whole, and vice versa. All of life is connected in some way.

A few things we need to know about each other…

All of us have myths:
• Myths are the things we talk about but that aren’t really there. Myths are used to project and exaggerate a picture of group (or family) goodness or perfection.
• Example: We say, “We all love each other and get along. Everything is going great,” when the reality is that there is major tension and that people are not getting a long.
• Myths sometimes help us survive…but they can be very detrimental if they are not balanced out with truth.

All of us tell lies:
• Lies are often told to exaggerate the ugliness or badness of certain groups (families) or group (family) members in an effort to provide stability in a seemingly out of control situation. Lies operate best when groups (families) fail to resolve their problems in a healthy way or forgive pain that has been caused.
• Lies, too, sometimes help us survive…but ultimately they are extremely dangerous.

All of us have people with whom we will never be close:
• For whatever reason, there are some people with whom we will never be close. Just like we don’t always understand what attracts us to certain people in love relationships, we likewise don’t always understand what creates distance between certain people in casual relationships. But it is a fact that some of us will not be close.
• The challenge, here, is allowing the distance to exist and not filling it with tension or trying to force it to disappear. If you’re not close to someone, it doesn’t mean it’s your fault. Sometimes people just don’t connect.

All of us need to talk…
• Women’s brains are wired in such a way we need to talk. In fact, for most women, talking is like brain candy. It fires synopses in our minds and does something inside of us that provides a sense of meaning and stability.
• Some of us talk more than others, but we all need to talk…and we all need to be heard. We all need safe places to share our hearts.

All of us are loved…
• God created each one of us and God loves each one of us. Sometimes we do not love each other. Sometimes people get on our last nerve. Sometimes our selfish, greedy, demeaning, immature actions are not worthy of love. Yet, in the end, we are all loved and deserve to be treated as such.

Speaking of immaturity…Did you know that our brains aren’t fully developed until around the age of 25. The part of our brains that thinks abstractly and understands the consequences of how our actions affect the future is still “cooking” until adolescence is over. Therefore, sometimes young people will act in a way that is far from mature. Now, we can’t use this knowledge of brain development as an excuse, but we can allow it to cause us to stop and think about ways that we can help train our brains and the brains of those around us.

And what is maturity? Maturity is taking responsibility for the emotional and spiritual health of one’s own self. Take that a step further, and self-differentiation is the ability to “define yourself” apart from, yet staying connected to your surroundings.

And so…As you become okay with yourself, you become okay with others…realizing that they are them, and you are you.

It is important to work through what YOU think and believe. But it is also important to remember that you are not the only one who thinks your thoughts. You are not the only one who sometimes creates myths, tells lies, does not feel a connection to someone, needs to talk, and thinks she isn’t loved.

You are an individual, yet you are connected to the system…and you are never alone.

Only you can be you. But remember that who you are and what you do is connected to the larger whole…and that your actions and thoughts truly matter.