Part of Something Bigger

I had the opportunity to speak at my parent's church yesterday. As I was preparing to speak, God laid a new message on my heart. I want to share that message with you now. Please take a few moments to read. This is longer than a normal note. Then again, it is not a normal note :-).

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Do you have a favorite chapter of scripture? Not just a passage? But an entire chapter? I do! And it just so happens that when dad asked me to speak this morning, he asked me to speak on Romans 12…my favorite passage.

Romans 12 is a unique passage of scripture. It’s sort of like a hinge between two different types of teaching: doctrinal teaching and ethical teaching. Chapters 1-11 are doctrinal teaching. They present a theological explanation on how the entirety of humanity can be made into right relationship with God.

After Paul establishes the fact that right relationship—righteousness—comes through grace and faith in Jesus Christ alone and that it’s not exclusive to Jews but extended to Gentiles as well, Paul moves to explaining that once a believer has been made right with her Maker, she needs to know, what difference this makes in her relationships with other people, in what God expects of her, and in how she should apply her new resources in all life situations.

The remainder of Paul’s letter to the Romans, then, (Romans 12-15) seeks to establish these guidelines for Christian living.

As I was studying for this message today, I was struck by something very interesting about these guidelines for Christian living. I’d studied the passage for before—written a paper on it, led a Bible study on it, tried to memorize it, written songs about—yet this time God spoke to me in a new way… and I’m going to attempt to explain that to you this morning.

For all of you non-literary scholars, bear with me. For all of you who love literature, get excited. For all of you… you might want to get out your Bibles and look at this with me…

So we’ve already said that Romans 1-11 establishes that righteousness comes through grace and faith in Christ alone and that it is extended to everyone. And we’ve said that the remainder of Romans seeks to establish these guidelines for Christian living. Here’s the cool part. Paul uses a pattern to establish these guidelines! Granted, his pattern may be somewhat rough and unbalanced, but it’s still a pattern…and here it is: ABCDCBA. Say that with me: ABCDCBA. That’s kind of fun isn’t it!

Here’s how it breaks down:

A = 12:1-2 provides the basis for responsible living other than law
B = 12:3-8 presents the body of Christ as the social expression of God’s people
C = 12:9-21 presents love as the fundamental moral imperative in human relationships
D = 13:1-7 examines how Christians relate to the powers that be

Then it goes back and revisits everything:

C = 13:8-10 returns to love of neighbor as the fulfillment of law in human relationships
B = 13:11-14 revisits Christ as the pattern for Christian living
A = 14:1-15:6 closes with the basis for social interaction and living other than law

What is the general theme of A? (The basis of social living and interaction)

And what is the general theme of B? (The body of Christ as the social expression of God’s people and the pattern for Christian living)

And this is where God spoke to me:

If we’re focusing on A and B, then we need to turn to Romans 13:11-14 and the rest of Romans. Let’s do that for a moment—but in the interest of time, let’s just focus on the B, Romans 13:11-14:

11 And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. 12 The night is nearly over; the day is almost here. So let us put aside the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. 13 Let us behave decently, as in the daytime, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and debauchery, not in dissension and jealousy. 14 Rather, clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.[a]

For my whole life, I have read this passage—and all other passages like it—through the eyes of the individual. I have read it like this: If you really love Christ, then you will not do these things so that you will please me—so that you will be a find, upstanding individual.

This weekend, for the first time, I noticed that the passage was full of plurals, of “us” and I heard it like this: If you really love Christ and you truly desire to live as who you are designed to be in the Body of Christ—and the Body of Christ is the witness of the world of who I, God, am, then you will refrain from these things not to please me as an individual but to do your part to uphold the righteousness, unity, and light that is created by the expanse of me—you will follow my ways of love and grace because you are part of something bigger—you are part of me—of my body—of the messiness and movement of life—and you play a crucial part in that body that will not get played if you go against my goodness. In other words, you are part of something bigger than yourself. You are part of the Body of Christ. And the Body of Christ doesn’t need to be tainted by you.

Now…let’s go back to Romans 12 and talk about that body for a few minutes.

The image of the body of Christ is actually a very powerful image that Paul uses to explain the combined unity and diversity of the church. The church body is like the human body, requiring the coordinated efforts of many different parts, yet it’s united as one single being. Just as the human body is united by central organs and systems, the church is united by Christ.

Even so, the well-being of the parts of the body and their united effectiveness for strengthening the body are constantly at risk by the body’s presence in the world. Germs of pride and their destructive consequences are rampant and threaten the body’s health.

Outside of Christ, individuals and communities seek to elevate themselves above others.

As Paul sees it, though, the driving force of Christianity cannot be the pride, jealousy, envy, anger, or competitiveness of this world—it cannot be secrecy, darkness, drunkenness, sexual immorality, or dissension—rather it must be cooperation and thankfulness to God.

A body at war with itself shuts down and dies, but a body cooperating with itself thrives in fullness; the church does the same…

I want you to think about the news stories that you hear. When you hear of a politician who goofs up and makes a poor decision, does it cause you to lump politicians into a group of immoral, indecent people? When you hear of a teacher who has a relationship with his student or disciplines a student improperly, does it taint your image of the teaching profession? When you hear of a priest who once molested children, does it cause you to think that all priests are pedophiles?

We know the truth. Not all politicians are bad. Certainly not all teachers are bad. How many of us are teachers?! J Not all priests are pedophiles. But the ones who are—who make the news—who are known—damage the reputation of all of the ones who are not! It’s kind of like thinking that flying is dangerous because airplane crashes always make the news when in all actuality flying is one of the safest—if not THE safest—modes of transportation available.

So what does this mean for Christians? What does it mean for those of us who profess to follow Christ? I think the answer should be obvious: we are part of something bigger and we have the responsibility and the call to do our part in the bigger body. No matter how big our part. No matter how small. No matter how recognized our part. No matter how overlooked. We each have a part to play in the body of Christ and as such we are representatives of something bigger than our individual selves.

As a staff member for SC WMU, I am no longer just Deanna Deaton. No matter where I go, I am Deanna Deaton, SC WMU Associate. I am connected with, associated to, and held responsible to the standards of the organization for which I work…just as you are connected with, associated to, and held responsible to the standards of the body of Christ.

How frightening and awesome is that?!! It’s frightening because we’re part of something bigger! But it’s awesome because we’re part of something bigger!

It’s awesome that we don’t have to single-handedly be the entire presence of God to this world!

I don’t know about you, but I like to be good at things as soon as I try them. In fact, if I’m not good at something immediately, then I tend to get aggravated. Naturally, there are some things that aggravate me because there are some things that I am just not good at.

I am not mechanically minded, nor am I the slightest bit interested in doing medical stuff, nor do I have a green thumb, nor are my hands steady enough to throw a pot on a pottery wheel. Those things, among others, are just not my strength. But for my brother. And Dr. Sloan. And my sister. And my friend Barb? Those are strengths. And I’m glad. Because I don’t have to fully understand mechanics or medicine or horticulture or pottery to survive in this world. All I have to do is ask for help…and be glad that there are people who hold skills that I do not.

And it’s the same with the gifts that Paul writes about in this passage. Paul writes here about gifts that are given by grace through the Spirit to each person who believes in the transforming power of Christ. Each of us is gifted. But none of us holds all of the gifts. Where I am weak, someone else is strong. Where I am strong, someone else is weak. Where I lack hospitality, my friends Mandy or Christina else will open their doors. Where someone else can find nothing positive to say, I can offer encouragement. Together, we are the presence of Christ in this world. And that is just awesome!

But it’s also frightening. Let’s say that one day I decide that I’m not going to be encouraging. Encouragement, by the way, is my top spiritual gift. Let’s say that I decide, instead, to speak slander and lies and to use my words to destroy reputations instead of to build them up. Let’s say that I get really mad while I’m standing in line at the grocery store and I spew a string of angry words that everyone around me hears.

I am someone who does not hide my faith. I speak of it freely and most people know that I am a believer. If, then, I choose not to use my spiritual gift of encouragement and instead present a negative picture of how humanity should live and act, then I am presenting a negative picture of the body of Christ—of which I am a part. Not only am I damaging my own reputation, but I am also damaging the reputation of the body of Christ.

My actions are part of something bigger.

So while it is wonderful that I do not have to be everything, it is also frightening that I AM something. We all are something. We all are created and loved by God, gifted by God’s spirit, called to do God’s work, and expected to live in unity with the rest of the body of Christ.

So if we choose not to be the “something” we were created to be—
if we choose to sit back and let other people do the work,
if we choose to compare ourselves to those around us and deem ourselves unworthy,
if we choose to try to be someone we were not created to be…
then we are hurting the Body of Christ and now allowing it to function as the beautiful whole that Christ longs for it to be.

So this morning I want to challenge you not only to embrace that you are uniquely gifted and chosen by God—which is usually where the challenge lies with this passage—but I want to challenge you to embrace that you are part of something bigger.

This morning I want to challenge you to think of your faith journey not just as your own but as part of a much larger, richer, beautiful story.

This morning I want to challenge you to begin shifting the goal of your faith from personal morality to collaborative redemption.

For each of us is part of the body of Christ. Each of us plays a part in reflecting the body of Christ as the social expression of God to this world.

Each of our lives is bigger than our own and we can leave here today celebrating that frighteningly awesome fact!...

Who are you this morning, church? What is your gift? How are you using it? And how are you contributing to or detracting from the body of Christ?

Let us pray.

The Thinker (And Sleep Texter) Strike Again

Last week in Phoenix, after admitting that I had turned they symphony concert into a philosophical thought-event about call, meaning, and life-significance, Boss looked at me and said, “I say this in the nicest possible way, but…YOU THINK TOO MUCH!!!!!” I laughed and agreed. I do think a lot.

That thinking has gotten me into trouble this week. Don’t worry, it’s not been literal trouble. I’ve just had a lot on my mind. That fact, coupled with a seemingly overwhelming amount of work, has made for a pretty not-so-good week.

Usually, when I’m in bad space, I’m a pretty negative person. I don’t mean to be. I don’t want to be. But when things feel bad, it’s sometimes hard for me to see or feel anything good. Yet this week I’ve tried not to be consumed so much with the bad as much as just allow it to exist. In the process of this existence, I’ve experienced a couple of really funny moments and a couple of really beautiful moments as well.

Funny Moment #1: The Lunch Box

Mel (my assistant), via text: Uh-oh! I may have taken your landlord’s lunchbox by mistake! If you see her, tell her I’ll bring it back tomorrow!

Me (thinking, “Valerie (my landlord) has a Vera Bradley lunchbox. Mel does not. How in the world could she have taken Valerie’s lunchbox by mistake.”): How did you do that?

Mel: We bought our cars from the same place.

Me (thinking, “Yes. But what does buying a car have to do with a lunchbox?!”): Did they give you a free lunchbox or something?

Mel: Yes.

Me to Valerie (after watching her walk into the building, stay a few minutes, walk back out of the building and search her car, then walk back into the building looking really confused): Mel just wrote and said she accidently took your lunchbox. She’s really sorry and will bring it back tomorrow.

Valerie, via text: I was wondering what happened to my lunch. I went downstairs to eat and it was gone! Thanks for telling m. At least I know I’m not crazy.

:-)

The really funny thing (besides Mel's response about the cars)? I spoke to Valerie at the pool last night and she admitted that she’d been a bit scattered lately. She’d gotten up yesterday and chopped vegetables for a nice salad and neatly packed her snack and lunch. Around 11am, she went down and got out her snack, an apple, prepared it and took it back to her office to eat. Around 1pm, she decided to go to the store to buy some nuts for her salad. When she got back and saw that her lunch bag wasn’t there, she began to doubt whether she’d even brought her lunch at all. She thought maybe she was remembering the day before! Now, that’s a lot of stress right there!

Funny Moment #2: The Sleep-Texter Strikes Again

I had a dream last night that I was in a downtown area that was set up like a grid. Because of the gridded set up, I could easily find my way around town and tell people where to meet me—on the corner of such and such and so and so. In the dream, I liked that feeling, so I when I woke up to turn over, I naturally thought I needed to share this realization. Trying to write something that communicated my dream, I very carefully wrote:

The grad sys6x 9susten is is good ya of dissiining ligor .

Yes, folks. The sleep-texter struck again!

Positive Moment: I love you, friend.

After writing a very difficult e-mail to my prayer partner at Mundo Vista, I received this response. These words are so powerful that they bring tears to my eyes:

I want to encourage you. I think that facing the paradoxes that point out our own faults (whether current or in the past) are perhaps the toughest battles we will ever fight. I think that you are one of the bravest women I have ever met. I think that it's ok at this point for you to let me help you carry this burden. Let me be your friend. Tonight and in the nights to come, if you cannot let go of the negative thoughts, send them to me. I am in a good place, and I will happily help you combat them. I will take those feelings to the Centennial Building for you, and let them dissipate into the air to be carried away by the thousands of prayers you (and you and I) have sung in that space. Don't forget, either, that ugly moments do not make us ugly. I am honored to be your friend, and I think you are beautiful. I love you, friend.

What about you? How has your week been? Have you had any funny or beautiful moments? Will you share them now?

The Helpless Wonder Woman

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I feel helpless. Though not a mother, I care very deeply for those around me and have a very motherly instinct. My friends joke with me about having a spirit that woos, guides, and nurtures everyone and everything in my life—including my bowling ball!

For a long time, I didn’t have a clear understanding of boundaries. I didn’t always know where I ended and another person began, and for that blurred understanding I spent many long nights in many ditches (figuratively speaking) rather than standing overhead and helping pull out the one who was stuck. After a few years of counseling, I gained a proper understanding of boundaries and began to accept the fact that I could not single-handedly save everyone in the world from suffering. Until that point, I didn’t think that goal was unrealistic. After all, I did once have Wonder Woman Underoos!

Though I’ve named that I am a rescuer and accepted the fact that I can’t save everyone in the world from suffering, I still try to rescue as many people as I possibly can. As a dear friend recently told me, not only do I tend to perform CPR but I also have a habit of throwing people on my back and carrying them around for the rest of eternity, afraid that if I don’t bring them along then something will happen and I won’t be there to save them again. After awhile, this gets tiring…and sometimes I just want to sit down and rest.

I’ve had a pretty bad day today. Work has been hard, my throat has been sore, focus has been scattered, and negative words have been playing in my head for a majority of the day. More so than any of that, though, a feeling of helplessness has plagued me as I’ve realized that a close friend is walking down a dangerous path that no warning of mine is going to stop. And I have done my best to non-judgmentally warn her—to woo and guide in a safe direction.

I realize that her journey is not mine to walk, but it’s hard to sit back and watch her choose a path that
will end in nothing but hurt.

What about you? Do you struggle with this, too? Do you find it hard not to ooze warnings and advice when you sense peril ahead? Do you find it difficult to speak your truth and then to remain steady when all falls apart? Do you have to bite your tongue not to say, “I told you so?” Do you find it hard to stay on high ground instead of crawling into the ditch?

Share your story. Sometimes it helps to know we’re not alone.

The Confused Traveller
Summer 2000…updated 6/21/11

Standing at the end of the road,
I look back and see you at the beginning.
“Please don’t follow me!” I scream.
“Please don’t walk down this road!”

The ridicule. The mocking.
The heartache, alienation, and pain.
They are all mine already—
They shouldn’t belong to you.

So please don’t follow me,
Please don’t walk down this road.

If you want to be ridiculed—
If you want to be mocked—
If you want your heart to break—
If you want to feel alienated—
If you want to embrace pain—
Follow Light,
Follow Love,
Follow Self-sacrifice for what is right,
Follow Jesus:
Walk down his agonizing road.

But please:
Don’t follow me.

Stumbling in darkness,
Running in fear,
Hiding in shame,
Loving in secret…

Feels right now,
Makes sense now,
Is justified now:

But then—what about then?

The newness worn off,
The excitement faded away,
The perfection suddenly imperfect…

Please don’t follow me,
Please don’t walk down this road.
If only I could shield your path,
Divert your attention,
Stop your feet from walking
Through the holes,
The pits of hell,
That you can’t see
But you know are there…

Please don’t follow me,
Please don’t walk down this road.

I stand here and plead;
I sit and cry from my soul:

Please don’t follow me,
Please don’t walk down this road.

Please don’t follow me,
Please don’t walk down this road.

--dd

Bad Day

Some days suck. Today was one of them. The irony? The question of the day, selected completely at random first thing this morning, was: Whenever you're having a bad day, what is the best thing you can do to help cheer yourself up? My answer is sleep. I can't wait to get there and put this day to bed.

Four Thoughts On Life And God

Last week in Phoenix, Laurie, Donna, Sandra, and I talked a lot about food. We learned that, in general, I’m the most food-adventurous…except when it comes to cantaloupe. I really don’t like cantaloupe. I was served cantaloupe during an Acteens New Start consultation once. After a brief moment of panic, wondering how I was going to eat the cantaloupe without it making me sick, I realized that if I paired one bite of cantaloupe with one bite of strawberry then the taste was bearable. The good overshadowed the bad. I think, in the end, that it’s the same way with life.

~~~~~

I like to leave my apartment clean—especially if I’m traveling a substantial distance. One of my friends likes to do the same with her house. Whenever she leaves for a trip, she does what she calls the “death clean.” In case something happens to her on the trip, she wants her house to be in order. I’ve started doing the same—and leaving the apartment clean in case my landlord needs to do some work while I’m gone. After getting home from Phoenix, I pretty much crashed. I dumped out my suitcase, found my phone charger and medicine, and then went to sleep for a long time. After a bit of rest, I decided to go home and surprise my dad for Father’s Day. I threw some of my stuff back into my bag, tidied the mess I’d made the day before, and left. I didn’t do a full clean because I was only going to be gone a short time.

A little while later, I received a text from my landlord. He asked if he could rent my apartment for the night. His family had come into town for a family reunion and he needed some extra space for them to lay their heads. The one time I don’t fully clean my apartment is the one time it is needed. Figures. It reminds me of the verses of scripture that tell us that we don’t know when Christ will return—that we should always be ready. And we should. As should we always be grateful when the landlord knocks a bit of money off of your rent AND washes your sheets and remakes your bed for you.

~~~~~

The more I think about it, the more certain I am that we all just want to be part of a narrative that we support and believe in. We all want a story in which we belong and a place of physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual peace where we can exist.

~~~~~

I did a church visit yesterday. While I knew it was Father’s Day and that it was the Pastor’s last day at the church, I didn’t know the emotional climate I was walking into or what the morning would hold. The service was actually very normal. There was nothing special to honor the pastor, rather the service was focused on fathers (like it likely was in Baptist churches all across the south). Needless to say, I was surprised by all the tears surrounding the pastor’s departure—I found out that his leaving was not forced by men but called for by God—and by the fact that the Father’s Day Message spoke to me.

The pastor read Psalm 1:

1 Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
2 but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
3 That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers.

I heard:

Deanna, you have been walking in step with the wicked, standing in the way of sinners, and sitting in the company of mockers for quite awhile now. You have become extremely skeptical of church and music and worship and people and you have struggled to believe what you know—that I, God, am so much bigger than anything you can comprehend and that I love you. I desire for you to be the non-anxious presence that you desire to be. I desire for you to find the good in all situations—to delight in me and my creation and to listen to my word through the narratives of scripture and everyday life. I want you to be firmly planted by streams of water—water that gives you life—and for your life to produce the fruits of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and faithfulness that I know you desire to produce. I want the good that you want because I know that the good that you want comes from the good that is me. Breathe. Relax. Rest. Open your eyes to the beauty around you and try to release the tension and worry that knots your shoulders and furrows your brow. You don’t have to try to so hard to find all the answers. The joy is in the journey…and I want you to prosper and be blessed.

The Gospel?

I posted the question today, "When you hear the phrase, "We must share 'the gospel,'" what does it mean to you? What is "the gospel" that we must share?"

No one commented. I don't know if it didn't appear in people's news feeds or if people just didn't answer because they didn't know what to say.

I've hard that statement spoken many times over the past few days. And each time, I've wondered, "What gospel is it that we are suppose to be sharing?"

I finally heard someone today articulate what I think has been meant by "the gospel" for the past few days. He said:

"Everywhere in the world—you go anywhere—richest community in American or most impoverished community in West Africa--and you will see the sting of sin and the affects of Satan and you will see the reign of death comes to all. And you and I can go to any of those places and share the exact same message.

To say to anyone and everyone: THE GOSPEL--there was a man who sinned and from his sin condemnation has come to all men. All of us have sinned against our creator king and eternal death is our inevitable doom. From this one man. But there came a second man, like the first in every way, yet without sin, and he was the creator king in the flesh. He had sovereignty over nature—creator king in flesh—sovereignty over nature, disease, sin—had sovereignty over death—people in tombs heard voice and came to life. He came to life. Death no longer has mastery over him. Creator king come and come to bring kingdom and all who believe in his name has overcome sin, conquered Satan, and crushed death. If you believe in name, you can share in his kingdom now and forever and ever. And that’s really good news and it works anywhere."

Is that the gospel?

I just have to believe there is so much more...

Living A Dream

It hit me about three hours ago: I am living my dream. Read these words that I wrote in Spring 2009:

I think that the worst part of being a music minister is having to be at the same church every Sunday and feeling guilty for being away for a conference or retreat. Despite the fact that I have stopped running from church ministry and realized that I am gifted and equipped to do music ministry, my main passion is still retreat and worship ministry and I still want to work for the WMU. Those two desires will not leave my heart, and even though I have no idea how the desires are going to be fulfilled, I hold to the hope that they will. Quite honestly, I hold to the hope that an administrative assistant’s job will open at the WMU and that my weekends will be free to travel across the state and beyond both representing WMU and leading spiritual formation retreats and worship events. Maybe that is why administrative work is so appealing to me right now—it is a weekday job that involves closure and will allow me the freedom to go and do my heart’s deepest desire.

When I resigned from teaching, I was petrified about not knowing the future. After seeing how God has provided for me and honored my leap of faith, I am no longer frightened by the uncertainty of tomorrow. My interests are vast. My experience is varied. I have many possibilities within full-time vocational ministry, and I have the possibility of returning to the mission field of the public schools. I am currently just waiting for my intuition to sense where God is leading me next. My mom, who was integral in pointing me in the direction of elementary music, recently pointed out that WMU exists in states beyond North Carolina. Maybe I will leave the state after I graduate. Or maybe I will, again, stay right where I am and continue to build upon the growing ministry at Antioch.

Whatever I do, though, I now know that the most important thing is that I be who God has created me to be. I am a teacher. An encourager. A daughter, sister, aunt, granddaughter, niece, and friend. I am a dreamer. A learner. A questioner. A peacemaker. I am someone who sees the world in colors. I am someone who loves passionately and feels deeply. I am a Christ-seeker and a Christ-follower. I am a believer in the Triune God. I uphold the sanctity of all created life, and I believe in equal rights for all. I am a certified Myers Briggs Administrator, and I want to help others understand who they are so that they can live into the fullness of who God created them to be. I am a sinner. I am a saint. I am a theologian on a journey of faith. I am part of God’s bigger story, and I was created uniquely and wonderfully. I am the union of my mother and father. And I am okay. Just as I am.

Since working at Camp Mundo Vista in 1996, I have wanted to worked for WMU. Tonight, I find myself in Phoenix, Arizona, having just experienced an amazing missions celebration with WMU women (and men) from across the country. I have shared meals and personal conversation with important staff members and missionaries from the IMB and NAMB. I have laughed with and hugged national staff members and presidents and been welcomed as a colleague. I, Deanna Deaton—with all my quarks and flaws and insecurities and questions—am part of a network of women (and men) who desire to love God into this world, to meet God where God is, and to change this world—one person at a time.

I get so frustrated with church and denominational politics sometimes. I am often flabbergasted with language that pits “us” against “them” and I hang my head in shame over how Christians are portrayed. But it’s nights like tonight—after real, hard conversations—after long, draining hours—after beautiful, inspiring music—when I remember that I’m part of a bigger story and that I am standing on the shoulders of countless women who have given countless hours to influence countless people with the promise of Life.

It’s nights like tonight when I am reminded why I have chosen life—why I persevere through closed minds and judgmental attitudes and slammed doors and uncertain futures and broken hearts and exhausted eyes. I have chosen life because God gave us life and God called us good and Jesus came to transform darkness so that we could live in light and love and all things good.

I must admit that I’m sitting at the desk in my hotel room in Phoenix weeping. I am so humbled to be part of this story—of God’s story—and to have the opportunity to work with women every day who have devoted their lives to telling God’s story.

Obviously, I didn’t get that assistant’s job with WMU NC, nor did I stay at Antioch. Rather, I moved to South Carolina to become a WMU consultant—to dive into the work of WMU head first—and sometimes I still come up gasping for air! Yet. I’m living my dream. And for that I am grateful. And from here I mustn’t stop dreaming…

Nor should you.

What’s your dream? Have you seen it come true?

A Few Things We Need To Know About Each Other

Think about the body of Christ. Each part makes up the whole. Each piece of the system—the body of Christ—is part of the whole, so each individual piece affects the whole, and vice versa. All of life is connected in some way.

A few things we need to know about each other…

All of us have myths:
• Myths are the things we talk about but that aren’t really there. Myths are used to project and exaggerate a picture of group (or family) goodness or perfection.
• Example: We say, “We all love each other and get along. Everything is going great,” when the reality is that there is major tension and that people are not getting a long.
• Myths sometimes help us survive…but they can be very detrimental if they are not balanced out with truth.

All of us tell lies:
• Lies are often told to exaggerate the ugliness or badness of certain groups (families) or group (family) members in an effort to provide stability in a seemingly out of control situation. Lies operate best when groups (families) fail to resolve their problems in a healthy way or forgive pain that has been caused.
• Lies, too, sometimes help us survive…but ultimately they are extremely dangerous.

All of us have people with whom we will never be close:
• For whatever reason, there are some people with whom we will never be close. Just like we don’t always understand what attracts us to certain people in love relationships, we likewise don’t always understand what creates distance between certain people in casual relationships. But it is a fact that some of us will not be close.
• The challenge, here, is allowing the distance to exist and not filling it with tension or trying to force it to disappear. If you’re not close to someone, it doesn’t mean it’s your fault. Sometimes people just don’t connect.

All of us need to talk…
• Women’s brains are wired in such a way we need to talk. In fact, for most women, talking is like brain candy. It fires synopses in our minds and does something inside of us that provides a sense of meaning and stability.
• Some of us talk more than others, but we all need to talk…and we all need to be heard. We all need safe places to share our hearts.

All of us are loved…
• God created each one of us and God loves each one of us. Sometimes we do not love each other. Sometimes people get on our last nerve. Sometimes our selfish, greedy, demeaning, immature actions are not worthy of love. Yet, in the end, we are all loved and deserve to be treated as such.

Speaking of immaturity…Did you know that our brains aren’t fully developed until around the age of 25. The part of our brains that thinks abstractly and understands the consequences of how our actions affect the future is still “cooking” until adolescence is over. Therefore, sometimes young people will act in a way that is far from mature. Now, we can’t use this knowledge of brain development as an excuse, but we can allow it to cause us to stop and think about ways that we can help train our brains and the brains of those around us.

And what is maturity? Maturity is taking responsibility for the emotional and spiritual health of one’s own self. Take that a step further, and self-differentiation is the ability to “define yourself” apart from, yet staying connected to your surroundings.

And so…As you become okay with yourself, you become okay with others…realizing that they are them, and you are you.

It is important to work through what YOU think and believe. But it is also important to remember that you are not the only one who thinks your thoughts. You are not the only one who sometimes creates myths, tells lies, does not feel a connection to someone, needs to talk, and thinks she isn’t loved.

You are an individual, yet you are connected to the system…and you are never alone.

Only you can be you. But remember that who you are and what you do is connected to the larger whole…and that your actions and thoughts truly matter.

Be.

I saw this meditation on a friend’s blog today and decided to share it with you all tonight. It’s really quite profound and something I am going to try to start doing myself.

Meditate on this biblical phrase one less word at a time:

Be still and know that I am God.

Be still and know that I am.

Be still and know that I.

Be still and know that.

Be still and know.

Be still and.

Be still.

Be.

Abused, Abandoned, Bullied...(and) Redeemed

We don’t know how old Bullet is. We don’t know what he looked like when he was a puppy (although I imagine he was one of the most adorable creatures in all creation). We don’t know when he got his shots, who first owned him, or what his given name really was. We call him Bullet because he’s as fast as bullet when he’s in a hyper, playful mood. But Bullet is not his first name. And we will never know what that first name was.

But we do know that Bullet was abused. We’ve seen him tremble at the sight of a fly swatter. We’ve seen him hesitate to be touched. We’ve seen him hang his head low and place his tail between his legs in fright.

And we know that he was abandoned. Our next door neighbor, Mac, found him in a parking lot in Alabama, picked him up, and brought him home. When he first arrived in NC, he mostly stayed at Mac’s house, coming to our house only to poop in the driveway. This made my dad so mad! Yet, it was Bullet’s pooping in the driveway that somehow began his endearment with my family.

And we know that he’s been bullied. Two times this year, he’s been attacked by large dogs to the point of deep wounds that have required drainage tubes, IV fluids, medicine, and large veterinarian bills. Bullet does not pick fights. It’s not what he does. But for some reason—maybe because he’s so small and the big dogs think he’s a rabbit—those large dogs like to bully him.

Our poor little guy has had a rough life. He’s been abused, abandoned, and bullied…

Yet I dare say that he had been redeemed and is now is one of the most loved and cared for dogs that I know. He has one home where he receives love from his parents, Mac and Olga, and his Russian grandfather, Dedula. And he has another home where he receives love from my dad, my mom, my brothers, sisters, nephews, niece, aunt, and me. Not all of us love Bullet equally, that’s true, but we all do love him, and he loves us…especially my dad…wholly, completely, and unconditionally. He even does a little dance and talks every time my dad comes home. If he hadn’t been redeemed, then I don’t think he’d feel like dancing.

For some reason, Bullet’s story reminds me of these verses from Proverbs:

Let them drink and forget their poverty and remember their misery no more. Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves, for the rights of all who are destitute. Speak up and judge fairly; defend the rights of the poor and needy. Proverbs 31: 7-9

I think Bullet has drunk and forgotten the poverty and misery of abuse, abandonment, and being bullied—even though he sometimes has dog nightmares that leave him trembling. I think that Mac spoke for him when he was alone in that parking lot and judged Bullet a creature worthy of being loved. He provided for his needs and restored him to life and now together, as a community of people who love Bullet, we take care of him and fill his needs and in return he provides us with laughter and smiles and entertainment and story after story of his cuteness.

I suppose that in many ways animals are easier to redeem and rehabilitate than humans, but somehow, in some way, I think we must try to live out the words of Proverbs 31 with humankind…because there are so many persons who have been abused, abandoned, and bullied…and all they’re waiting for is a chance for their lives to be redeemed.