Blackout Poetry Anniversary

 

Yesterday was my three-year blackout poetry anniversary.

Since June 2, 2021,

Heidi the Librarian and I have each written over 1000 blackout poems,

Completing 20 books while working on our 21st,

Covering modern fiction, science fiction, adolescent fiction, autobiography, lovelorn classics, horror classics, political documents, and books compiled specifically for blackout poetry—including one made just for us!

 

Three years ago, Heidi was searching for inspirational quotes

When she came across the image of a blackout poem.

She immediately knew that she wanted to try it.

And that’s what started it all.

She had some copies of Anne of Green Gables that were in disrepair,

So we started with those.

She walked into my room that Wednesday,

And asked if I wanted to write a blackout poem with her.

She said, “We’ll each write a poem and then compare them.”

I remember thinking, “We’re probably going to come up with the same poem.

There aren’t that many options on the page.”

But, oh, how many options there are!

In all our years and writings,

We have only written one identical poem!

 

The words on the page become the word bank.

The experiences that we bring provide the lens through which we read the words.

We each slow down,

Sometimes for 30 minutes to an hour,

Read the text,

Focus on something beyond our immediate concerns,

Open ourselves to what I believe is the Spirit,

Listen for what message lies on the page,

And then transform what’s obvious into something new.

 

I don’t know how long we will continue with this discipline,

But I don’t plan to stop any time soon.

As dramatic as it sounds,

I feel like blackout poetry is making me a better person

By causing me to see things from different perspectives,

And reminding me that there is always more to a story,

Two people may read the exact same text and

Hear completely different messages.

Isn’t that how it is with scripture?

And shouldn’t we all be open to the Spirit’s leading?

 

I will close this anniversary celebration 

By sharing my June 2 poems.

 

May each of us find a discipline that is meaningful for our lives,

And then may we each engage it with purpose and intention,

Seeing where it leads.

 

Amen.

 

----

 

From Anne of Green Gables, June 2, 2021

 

His tongue,

abstracted,

unswervingly and unseeingly,

nervous,

uncomfortable,

odd,

unaccountable.

That was Matthew’s way.

Silence persistency.

I’ve had so much experience at that.

What’s to be done?

Matthew is a most ridiculous man.

I think he’s lovely.

Sympathetic.

I felt that he was a kindred spirit as soon as I ever saw him.

 

----

 

From Blackout Poetry Journal: June 2, 2022

 

Give

it

all

to

the Light.

 

----

 

From Blackout Poetry Journal (A Creative Writing Journal): June 2, 2023

 

The moment is near

But I am a coward,

And shame pursues me.

 

----

 

From Passover Haggadah: June 2, 2024

 

I am

A leader

From the middle.

It's Life. And It's Okay.

 

Jessi the Spanish Teacher leaves for home tomorrow. 

She is so very excited to be able to see her friends and family after a year of being away. 

While she has found an American family who loves her and takes care of her,

There is nothing like her family of origin and her home country of Ecuador. 

We celebrate with her as she returns home

And look forward the day when she comes back. 

 

Shauna the Art Teacher locks her classroom door

One last time tomorrow. 

Shauna is embarking on a new journey and

Going to graduate school next year. 

Her quiet demeanor and patient spirit

Combined with her giving soul and love for life

Will take her far. 

We are excited for her.

We will just miss her. 

 

Tonight, Heidi the Librarian and I

Will join Jessi and Shauna

In a farewell staycation in Raleigh

That will involve food and drinks and Uno and laughter. 

 

We will celebrate successful endings and new beginnings

And the love of family and friends. 

We will celebrate by

Remembering the past and looking forward to the future.

We will celebrate by

Sharing communal stories and dreaming big dreams.

 

As graduation season is upon us,

I imagine that many of you are doing the same:

Celebrating while grieving,

Remembering while looking ahead,

Laughing while crying,

Holding on while letting go.

 

And you know what?

It’s all okay.

 

Because it’s life.

And we’re in it together…

In America, in Ecuador,

In work, and beyond.

 

Amen.

Have Mercy

 

Dear God:

 

For all those grieving today,

Have mercy.

 

For all those remembering loved ones lost to war,

Have mercy.

 

For all those fighting daily battles,

Have mercy.

 

For all those living with PTSD,

Have mercy.

 

For all who have experienced trauma,

For all who feel lost,

For all who listen,

For all who say their names,

Have mercy.

 

For those willing to sacrifice their lives,

For those who conscientiously object,

For those whose identity has been altered,

For those whose lives have been uprooted by death,

Have mercy.

 

Battles rage.

Wars march on.

Humanity fights.

Weapons destroy.

 

But in the midst of it all,

You are there,

In love and sacrifice and

Community and creation.

 

Help us remember, God,

Through tears and stories and uncomfortable conversations.

Help us remember,

And have mercy we pray.

 

Amen.

Goodness Still Abounds

 

I began 2024 with the idea that goodness abounds.

As the year has marched forward,

I have subconsciously allowed that thought to be overshadowed by

Division, bitterness, reactivity, us-against-them thinking, and feelings of being stuck.

I haven’t meant to do it.

I have simply absorbed the energy of the culture.

 

For months now,

My quiet angst has come out in deep sighs and a furrowed brow.

I haven’t necessarily been able to pinpoint one thing that’s been wrong.

It’s just been a negative energy that

Has left me feeling heavy and burdened.

 

I mentioned this on Monday,

But there is just so much hurt.

And it’s not simple hurt.

It’s layer upon layer upon layer of brokenness.

It’s complicated grief,

Complex trauma,

Systemic poverty,

Religious abuse,

Socio-economic inequality, and

Corrupt politics.

 

When I think about the complexity of these things,

I get overwhelmed.

 

Thank God for the sigh.

Thank God that the Spirit intercedes for us when we cannot find the words to say.

Thank God for hearing prayers that fall from our eyes.

And thank God for friends who send words of encouragement or challenge at just the right time.

 

I posted this last week,

But I think it is worth repeating today.

It’s a prayer that I adapted from the words of my dear friend Elizabeth Jones Edwards.

Her words reminded me that goodness really does abound,

And that it starts with me.

 

May you remember that, too.

And may we have eyes to see that, even in the heaviness,

Goodness abounds.

 

Oh God:

 

We are allowing religious and economic politics to divide us.

We are allowing the outside voices of politicians and pundits to control us.

Forgive us.

And help us to remember that we are the ones with the power to reshape our culture and rediscover connection.

 

Help us to remember that

Each of us, by our daily choices and attitudes, has the power to shape our culture for good.

To show kindness to the people we meet.

To turn down the divisive rhetoric and speak words of healing and peace.

To stop calling one another names, assuming the worst about situations, and making enemies about people we don't know or understand.

To be generous and forgiving and humble and loving as our faith calls us to do.

Each of us has the choice to include instead of divide,

To refuse to participate in the meanness and vitriol. 

 

Help us, God.

Help us to remember.

Help us to get to know one another,

Not as adversaries or enemies to defeat,

But as neighbors and friends and fellow travelers

whose well-being in this nation and on this planet is inextricably tied to our own.

 

Amen.

 

And amen. 

Holding the Faith

 

I spent a lot of time in the chapel when I was at Meredith.

From worship services to meetings to handbell practices,

I was there quite a bit.

I loved looking at the cross made by the organ pipes

And I felt safe in the quiet of her sacred space.

 

Neither of those things has changed.

 

I visited the chapel twice yesterday,

And I sat in her space for over four hours.

 

In the morning,

I had the privilege of leading a little choir of three

As they sang the anthem during the Meredith alumnae worship service.

I heard a moving Pentecost sermon that reminded me of the importance of breath,

Of the sigh,

And that helped me reframe my many sighs of late not as points of worry or consternation but

As prayers too deep for words.

I was challenged to “be a breath of fresh air in a suffocating world,”

And I was reminded that sometimes

It is the people who love us who hold faith for us when we can’t.

 

In the afternoon,

I had the honor of listening to Amelia-The-Niece

Sing with her girls choir.

My heart almost burst with pride as she sang two solos,

And my eyes were moved to tears as the group surrounded the audience and sang,

“Even when the dark comes crashing through
When you need a friend to carry you
And when you're broken on the ground
You will be found.”

It was a powerful performance,

And a great reminder that sometimes

It is the people who love us who hold faith for us and carry us through.

 

These days, heartache is palpable.

Complicated grief.

Childhood and religious trauma.

Abuse and neglect.

Broken relationships.

Struggling to make ends meet.

Not feeling loved or important.

Not feeling seen.

Living in fear.

 

Whatever the hurt,

It is there in all of us,

And it is real,

And it requires safety and light and breath

To make it through.

 

We may not all be able to sit in a literal safe space

Like I had the privilege of doing over the weekend.

 

So in its stead,

May each of us,

As best as we can,

Be that safe space for one another,

Holding faith,

And carrying one another through

With sighs and prayers and groans too deep for words.

 

May each of us,

Truly,

Breathe life into this dying world.

 

Amen.

On Turning 50

I don’t remember jokes very well.

And I don’t usually remember exact quotes either.

But many years ago,

My brother said something I’ll never forget:

“There’s nothing much less useful than a cold French fry.”

😊

 

I’ve always looked up to my brother.

So many of my childhood memories have him in it,

And, oddly enough, a lot of those memories involve sports!

One of my favorite memories is playing football.

My brother drew out the plays on his hand,

With x’s and arrows.

We were very serious about the execution of those plans,

And to this day, I live by his subconscious advice:

“Make a plan, and execute it well!”

 

Other memories involve band.

My brother was a trombone player,

And he once told me,

“If you’re going to play an instrument, play it well.”

So I listened.

I was asked to start high school marching band in 7^th grade.

That meant three years marching with my brother.

I always thought that was neat.

 

I also think it’s neat that

It’s because of my brother that

I am now an avid art collector.

Daniel once told me that if I had the money to afford a piece of art

That spoke to me,

Then I should buy it.

(That was in the beginning.

Now I must ask if I have the money AND the wall space :-p).

 

It’s also because of him that I see so many musical and theatre performances.

He says that we put our money where our values are—

That if I value musicals and theatre performances,

Then I should go see them.

So I do.

 

And he also once said that

When given a choice to do something that you really want to do vs. sleep,

Choose the thing you want to do.

He said, “You will likely remember the event or activity—

But you won’t likely remember that nap.”

Now. I like sleeping. I’m a nap taker.

But sometimes people and events are more important than even naps.

And Daniel’s words help me remember that.

 

Daniel’s 50^th birthday is today.

So today I am especially grateful for the boy that he was,

The man that he is,

And the person he is still becoming.

 

May we all influence others’ lives for the better…

Especially in our passing words and wisdom.

May we eat fries when they are warm,

Make good plans,

Enjoy good art,

See meaningful shows,

And make lasting memories with those we love.

 

Amen.