It's Okay To Be Happy

 

Thanks to the hospitality of some friends,

I was able to visit the beach for a couple of days. 

While away, I ate at a few waterfront restaurants, went on a boat ride, looked for sand dollars on a secluded sand bar, looked for Native American pottery shards on a secluded island, went to a movie, sat on the beach, collected shells, watched a sunset, played some games, wrote some poems, and learned a new watercolor activity. 

I had a tremendous time. 

And it wasn’t so much that I was doing out of the ordinary things. 

It was that I was doing them with intention and purpose, 

Fully alive and fully present

Without worry of what was going to happen next.

 

While on the boat, I was feeling the breeze on my face. 

While looking for sand dollars, I was watching my feet wade through the water.

While looking for pottery shards, I was being careful not to step on an oyster shell. 

While sitting on the beach, I was basking in the sun. 

While making art, I was channeling intention. 

I wasn’t worrying about everything that needed to be done at home. 

I wasn’t fretting about everything that could go wrong in the future.

I wasn’t ruminating on death and dying. 

I wasn’t comparing my life to others, wishing I had more or feeling guilty for not having less. 

I was simply present, 

Grateful, 

And happy. 

 

I used to be afraid to be happy.

I used to live in fear of when happiness would end and sadness would strike.

I used to feel guilty for being happy when so many others were miserable.

I used to always wait for the other shoe to fall, 

Not as a natural rhythm to life,

But as some type of punishment or consequence for being bad, 

As some type of game by a not so loving God.

 

As I sat on the beach this week, though,

And I watched a surfer ride the waves as they flowed,

I realized that the movement of the ocean really is the movement of life.

Sometimes it’s gentle, sometimes it’s rough.

Sometimes we float over the waves, sometimes they crash over us.

There are highs and there are lows. 

But there is always movement and always more to come.

 

Yes, there will be days of worry, stress, and sadness.

There will be days of grief and death and dying, and I have no idea when they will come, and they make me sick with anticipation. 

But I know now that they are not punishment or a sadistic game from a not so loving God,

Rather they are a natural part of life, 

Just as happiness is a natural part of life.

 

On this Maundy Thursday,

When Jesus experienced the full gamut of emotions,

From contentment in humble service to agony in sacrifice and betrayal, 

May we experience what we are experiencing, 

Whether it be what the world defines as good or bad,

Happy or sad,

A loving God is in it all,

Working to make all things right,

Rejoicing when we rejoice,

Weeping when we weep,

Commanding us to, above all else, love one another,

And truly experience this life we have been given, 

Even when life is good. 

 

Amen.