9/11

I’m feeling out of sorts today.

 

I know that some of it is residual memory and trauma

From the attacks of September 11, 2001.

While I wasn’t directly affected by the attacks,

I, like everyone else, have been indirectly affected ever since.

The constant threat of attack in unsuspecting situations hangs over us.

And with gun violence and school shootings become more and more commonplace,

That threat of attack hits closer and closer to home.

 

Some of it is the residual effects of acting out of my comfort zone.

I am an ENFJ.

My natural way of making decisions is filtering everything through my feeling function,

Which is the sense of how everything will affect the relationships involved.

My least natural way of making decisions is filtering everything through my thinking function,

Which is the objective sense of right and wrong.

I recently did something that I objectively know was right,

But it put strain on the relationships involved.

It’s amazing how draining it’s been.

 

Some of it is financial frustration.

I make ends meet,

And I’m able to do most things that I want to do,

But there is no wiggle room.

And recently, I’ve wanted to wiggle into a Myers Briggs training that

I just can’t afford.

And, teachers making what we make,

And me being stuck in the10-year step freeze,

I’ll never be able to afford it.

 

Some of it is the general political climate in America.

The name calling,

The looking for the negative,

The spreading of lies,

And the down-right mean-spirited nature of it all

Sucks.

 

And some of it is having a cold and trying to teach music.

 

And so.

I’m feeling out of sorts today.

 

And yet.

God still is.

 

I’m holding to that fact today.

 

Maybe you are too.