Why Jesus?

God cares about the hungry,
God cares about the poor,
God is concerned with the problems of this world.

Yet instead of sending food
And instead of sending clothing
And instead of fixing all that was wrong
God sent his son, Jesus, to make right our
Relationship with our Creator.

God was more concerned about the problem of sin separating humanity from
the true love, nature, and character of God
Than God was about a quick fix to the wrongs, injustices, and inadequacies of this world.

(because)

A right relationship with God
(forgiveness of sins that allows us to get a glimpse of God's infinite
goodness, mercy, and grace)
will compel God's children to

Feed the hungry (and)
Clothe the poor (and)
Work together
(as God's hands and feet on earth)
to alleviate the wrongs, injustices, and inadequacies of this world.

Where You've Shown God's Love and Compassion

"Tell me about one situation where you have shown a person God's love and compassion."

Upon pondering my response to this prompt, I found myself stumped. After thinking for awhile, my mind blank, I did what I'm good at doing: I deferred the question to a friend.

With the wisdom that is typical of this friend, she simply said, "I would speak to a time when I showed God's love and compassion to myself."

"That's a good idea," I said, "I hadn't thought about that. And I can do that. But I'd still like to think of a time when I showed God's love and compassion to someone else."

Her response, written so quickly and easily, blessed me tremendously: "You could write about me then :). Because you do that quite frequently for me.

Somehow, the fact that I've shown God's love and compassion without intentionally trying to do so is a beautiful and humbling thing to me. It's what I desire to do more than anything, yes, but I didn't know I was actually doing it! Her words encourage me to keep being me and challenge me to remember that my life is impacting others' lives--whether the impact is good or bad. Thankfully, in this friend's case, the impact has been good. Unfortunately, in other cases, the impact has not...

Which is when I've learned to show myself God's love and compassion. I won't go into all of the details of the past few years of my life, but I will say this: Before I began seeing my counselor, I showed myself very little love or compassion and held myself to such a high standard of skewed perfection that it was virtually impossible for me to be content OR to be content with others. I was good at pretending to be a lot of things that I was not, and loving and compassionate toward myself was one of those things.

As such, I believe that the single most loving and compassionate act that I ever did for myself (and everyone I have ever loved or will love) was asking for help--admitting that I couldn't keep pretending to have everything together when really I did not--realizing that I was not alone--embracing the fact that we're all part of a common humanity that is in this life together--and allowing God to help transform me into the woman that I was created to be.

What about you?

What is a situation where you have shown a person God's love and compassion?

Or, quite selfishly, what is a situation where I have shown YOU the same?

After The Letting Go

I've had the privilege of knowing a lot of people over the course of my 32 years. As such, I've had experienced the reality of letting go of a lot of people as well.

Sometimes letting go is natural. Sometimes it's forced. Sometimes letting go seems right. Sometimes it seems so wrong.

While I've come to accept the fact that life, love, and relationships change over the course of time and while I've made it my intention to focus on and remain present in the moment, I still sometimes struggle with what's been lost.

Last night, for no apparent reason, was a night of struggle, yet in the midst of my tears, a melody and lyrics floated into my mind:

I'll think of you every day
And as I do, I'll fall down on my knees and pray
We're growing
I've known that in this life
God would bring me to a place
Where I'd have to lag behind and let you run your own race
But now the time is here and it's hard than it seemed
Letting go's not easy, though I have to set you free
'Cause we're growing

I wish I understood the power of prayer. I wish I could grasp what it does, how it works, and in what way my prayers make a difference in the lives for whom I pray. But I don't.

And yet...

I don't know what else to do BUT pray for all those who have come into my life, walked beside me for such a time as this, and then said good-bye to go a separate way.

Guide them, bless them, keep them safe, God.
Use them, protect them, give them strength, oh Father.
Amen.

My Love Language

Some of you may know that I'm a Myers Briggs girl. I'm also a Bowen Family Systems girl--which is sort of a contradiction. And I'm a Five Love Languages girl--which may be an even bigger contradiction. What may seem the biggest contradiction is that I'm not a fan of categorizing and labeling people in today's polarized society. "Why do you like the Myers Briggs and the Five Love Languages, then," some of you may ask. "Don't they just categorize and label people?" Well, yes, they do. But more importantly than the category and/or label, which I don't believe should ever, in any way, be used as a derogatory way of identifying someone OR as a way of creating a line of division that cannot be moved, expanded, or crossed, these tools help people understand who they are, how they act, what they can expect of themselves in normal, every day situations and in situations of extreme stress, and what they need in order to function as happy, healthy, and whole individuals--the individuals that God created them to be.

Today, I won't attempt to explain how understanding my personality type has influenced me, rather I will speak to my love language, which is WORDS OF AFFIRMATION. Of the five love languages, identified by Winston Salem, NC, pastor Gary Chapman, Words of Affirmation are what I most need to survive. The other love languages are Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, and Gifts. While the other four love languages are important to me (and needed) and while I naturally tend to express my love through gifts, I pretty much shut down after long periods of NOT receiving positive words--words about who I am, the work I do, my place in this world, my place in people's lives, etc. What's worse, because words are so powerful to me, negative words become amplified in my mind and tend to repeat themselves over and over and over again until positive words wander in to replace them. I think this is why I keep all of the nice notes, letters, and e-mails that people give me--in case I go through a positive word drought and have to resort to the reserves!

Gary Chapman explains that when we have received enough love by way of our primary love language, then our "love tank" will become full.

Well, after leading a weekend women's retreat, I'm proud to report that my love tank is now full to overflowing!

I'm so glad.

The Joy of The Lord?

I'm thinking that
if we don't
act like we
have any joy
in our lives,
then maybe the
world won't want
to be part
of these lives
who follow Christ.

Silence

I used to hate it. I'd cringe at the very thought of it and do everything I could to avoid it. But then camp happened and I decided that being away from the girls' giggles and chattering and squealing was a good thing. And then teaching happened and I decided that being away from my students' singing and clanging of instruments and tattling was a really good thing. And then emotional chaos happened and I decided that entering into it was the only thing that could bring peace...


And so tonight I sit in silence. And I've learned to love it. Because I know that in the silence, there is God. And I know that just as sleep is needed for the body's healing, so is silence needed for the soul's.

Last night, I brought home a lot of work to do. My plan was to cook supper, shower, do my work, and go to bed. Instead, I had pizza with a friend's family, went shopping for some kitchen stuff, came home and waved at the lake--which, to me, is the beauty of God--walked upstairs and entered into a completely silent apartment--the heat, refrigerator, fan, and drip of the shower all quiet at the same time--at which point I stopped and took it in. After a few moments, I showered and got ready for bed and then crawled into bed, pillows surrounding me, imagining that I was crawling into the arms of God. I was asleep within ten minutes.

I'd like to say that I woke up feeling dramatically different this morning than I do on other mornings, but I cannot say that, nor was I expecting to as I lay in the silence last night. All I know is that in an overstimulated world where there is constant noise and distraction, silence is a much needed break where God creeps in and does an invisible work that can't be explained but that is so real that it is life-transforming.

Maybe one of the biggest things that we can offer this world is the opportunity to leave behind the noise of life and enter into a holy silence that nurtures the soul.

When I got home from work tonight, I waved at the lake--which, to me, is the beauty of God--walked upstairs and entered into a completely silent apartment, and stopped to take it in. I will go to bed soon, surrounded by pillows, imagining that I am crawling into the arms of God...

Prayer for Today

Lord, with your love and grace,
help me be less and less absorbed with myself,
and more and more full of the desire
to lay down my life and follow you.
Amen.

A Challenge to Love

We are born selfish creatures crying out for someone to take care of our needs. The process of growing in this life seems to be learning how to become less selfish, less self-absorbed. On our good days we can do that, by loving, giving and caring for others before thinking of ourselves. But on our bad days, we look at others and grumble about the unfairness: “Why is it always ME who has to do the giving? Why don't people have to care about ME first? Am I always the one who has to apologize first? Ask about the other’s day first? When is it MY turn to be taken care of?”

We are called to love the way we are loved by Jesus – without figuring out what we will get out of a relationship. “Love one another as I have loved you.” As I have loved you. In the same way Jesus loves us – without limits. And so we love our co-coworker or partner who is crabby and barking. Instead of snapping a response we ask ourselves, “What do they need right now?” It’s not about giving up my dignity or rolling over to a bully. It’s about loving someone who might not be very loveable in that moment.

We can choose to wallow in our own self-pity and self-absorption, but it is in that moment that we are being called more deeply into Jesus’ love. We must die to our own needs and our own longing in order to find a new life in Jesus. In a profound way, we are being called to a simple, complex task: to care about others as we care for, yet in front of, ourselves. What kind of people would we be if we got everything we wanted? If we never had to move outside of our own needs and desires? Jesus asks us: What good is it for us to get everything we wanted, if in the process we lose our very selves?

--Adapted from Looking at Marriage During Lent (http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Lent/marriage-lent.html)

A Prayer...

Christ to enfold me, Christ to surround me,
Christ in my speaking, Christ in my thinking,
Christ in my sleeping, Christ in my waking,
Christ in my watching, Christ in my hoping,
Christ in my life, Christ on my lips,
Christ in my soul, Christ in my heart,
Christ in my sufficing, Christ in my slumber,
Christ in my ever-living soul,
Christ in mine eternity.
Amen.

--adapted from Carmina Gaedelica...located in the Celtic Daily Prayer book, pg. 364.

Mercy

This is the text that I read this morning as part of my lenten devotional: (http://onlineministries.creighton.edu/CollaborativeMinistry/Lent/2nd-week.html#mon)

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
“Stop judging and you will not be judged.
Stop condemning and you will not be condemned.
Forgive and you will be forgiven.
Give and gifts will be given to you;
a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing,
will be poured into your lap.
For the measure with which you measure
will in return be measured out to you.”
Luke 6:36-38

This is the Word of God that I heard, spoken by the Spirit of God, as part of my lenten devotional:

Jesus said to his disciples:
“Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
“Stop judging [yourself so harshly] and you will not [live under the burden of] the judged.
Stop condemning [yourself] and you will not be condemned [by God].
Forgive [yourself] and you will [live as the] forgiven.
Give [lovingkindness to yourself] and gifts [of peace] will be given to you;
a good measure, packed together, shaken down, and overflowing,
will be poured into your lap.
For the measure with which you measure [yourself]
will in return be measured out to you.”
Luke 6:36-38

This reading may sound self-centered. It is. But not in a selfish way, rather in a self-caring way. A good friend of mine recently asked, "Why can I love everyone else but not love myself?" I responded by saying, "Because you were taught to love everyone else above yourself."

This morning, I heard God's Word guiding me not ONLY to be merciful to those around me but ALSO to be merciful to myself--not ONLY to stop judging and condemning others but ALSO to stop judging and condemning myself--not ONLY to forgive others but ALSO to forgive myself. For if I live with a spirit of harsh judgment and condemnation toward myself and if I cannot forgive myself for the wrongs of each day, then how can I properly forgive others and look upon them with a spirit of affirmation and grace? Should I condone poor behavior within myself and live with a sense of apathy toward living a Godly and righteous life? No. But should I hold myself to such a high standard that I cannot find the humility to show myself grace? No. I am human. I am part of this creation that God loves and wants to redeem...and I deserve God's mercy just as much as the neighbor to whom I am to show it.

I think the best way to reach the world with the gospel of Christ is to live it out in our own lives. What about you? What did the text say to you today?

"Lord,
your commandment of love is so simple
and so challenging.
Help me to let go of my pride,
to be humble in my penance.
I want only to live the way you ask me to love,
to love the way you ask me to live.
I ask this through your son, Jesus,
who stands at my side
today and always.
Amen."