Some of you may know that I'm a Myers Briggs girl. I'm also a Bowen Family Systems girl--which is sort of a contradiction. And I'm a Five Love Languages girl--which may be an even bigger contradiction. What may seem the biggest contradiction is that I'm not a fan of categorizing and labeling people in today's polarized society. "Why do you like the Myers Briggs and the Five Love Languages, then," some of you may ask. "Don't they just categorize and label people?" Well, yes, they do. But more importantly than the category and/or label, which I don't believe should ever, in any way, be used as a derogatory way of identifying someone OR as a way of creating a line of division that cannot be moved, expanded, or crossed, these tools help people understand who they are, how they act, what they can expect of themselves in normal, every day situations and in situations of extreme stress, and what they need in order to function as happy, healthy, and whole individuals--the individuals that God created them to be.
Today, I won't attempt to explain how understanding my personality type has influenced me, rather I will speak to my love language, which is WORDS OF AFFIRMATION. Of the five love languages, identified by Winston Salem, NC, pastor Gary Chapman, Words of Affirmation are what I most need to survive. The other love languages are Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service, and Gifts. While the other four love languages are important to me (and needed) and while I naturally tend to express my love through gifts, I pretty much shut down after long periods of NOT receiving positive words--words about who I am, the work I do, my place in this world, my place in people's lives, etc. What's worse, because words are so powerful to me, negative words become amplified in my mind and tend to repeat themselves over and over and over again until positive words wander in to replace them. I think this is why I keep all of the nice notes, letters, and e-mails that people give me--in case I go through a positive word drought and have to resort to the reserves!
Gary Chapman explains that when we have received enough love by way of our primary love language, then our "love tank" will become full.
Well, after leading a weekend women's retreat, I'm proud to report that my love tank is now full to overflowing!
I'm so glad.
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