Those Dirty Words

Before “Project Help: Human Exploitation,” I wasn’t one to use the words sex, sexting, and pornography. Like the good Southern Baptist preacher’s kid that I am, I found those words taboo. They went with other dirty words like abuse, divorce, homosexuality, abortion, masturbation, and death—words that make most church-goers, and probably many of you, cringe. So I didn’t speak of them very often even though I knew full well what they were. But now I do speak of them. I say those dirty words in the same sentences as God, Jesus, love, creation, redemption, salvation, missions, and life...and I do not flinch.

Last night, for the first time, I closed “Project Help: Human Exploitation” overview with the clear declaration that we must talk about issues of sexuality and sexual ethic in our churches—that we must let our children and teens know that if they have questions about sex or if they have sex—especially if they are forced to have sex—then they can ask or tell us and not be disowned—that we must create a space for men and women who struggle with pornography to admit the struggle and begin to deal with it—that the longer we make issues of sexuality taboo, then the more powerful the “secrecy” of people’s lifestyles is going to become and the more we will exploit humanity through pornography, trafficking, prostitution, sexting, sexual abuse, media, and more. In many ways, sex and issues of sexuality are at the root of human exploitation, and until the church is able to talk openly about these issues rather than cringe at the dirtiness of the words, human exploitation will continue—albeit under the surface of many Christians fighting against it by attacking the symptoms rather than the disease.

After my presentation last night, an older woman came up to me to tell me that she had enjoyed the presentation. While I think it’s ironic to hear people say that have enjoyed a somewhat depressing and heavy presentation, I’m always grateful for the affirmation. This woman continued, though, with tears in her eyes, holding my hands in hers, “People from my generation grew up not talking about sex. It’s so hard. But I know now that we’ve got to talk about it with our children and grandchildren. Thank you.” I don’t remember what I said. I was so struck by her words and the sincere tears in her eyes that they are all I remember.

Oh people of God, we must stop running from dirty words and make them holy by bringing them into light! May each of us be so moved by a conviction of God’s spirit that we have the courage cry humble tears, face our fears, stretch beyond discomfort, and speak healthy truth. Amen.