A Lesson in Parenting

 

I went to Boone last week with my college best friend and her kids. 

We had planned to go to Linville Caverns on Wednesday, but when we looked more carefully, we realized that the caverns were closed on Wednesdays. 

So we looked at Tweetsie Railroad. 

It was closed on Wednesdays, too. 

So we looked at a hiking trail. 

The trail head was closed. 

So we decided to go gem mining. 

We went to the gem mining place because the website said it opened at 10. 

It was closed. 

At that point, we realized that websites were not always correct and that the mountains must be closed on Wednesdays :-).

But it didn’t matter.

We were just happy to be away. 

 

We ended up taking the girls to the Alpine roller coaster and adjoining ropes course.

We called before we went :-). 

Our timing was perfect.

We were the only people at the ropes course for quite a while, 

And this was very good for the girls to learn how to work the hardware.

 

As Angela and I stood on the ground and looked up at the girls dangling from ropes,

We each experienced our own anxieties.

Even though I knew that the girls could not come untethered, 

I still had this fear that they would somehow be the anomaly who broke the system and fell. 

I’m not sure exactly what Angela was thinking,

But at one point, she said,

“This is a good exercise in parenting.

Watching your children do something new and scary but having absolutely no control.”

I may not be a parent, but I agree with that statement!

 

When we care for someone, it is easy to want to take care of everything for them. 

We don’t want our loved ones to suffer, so we do everything we can to remove difficult obstacles. 

We don’t want our loved ones to make dumb decisions, so do everything we can to steer them clear of stupidity. 

We offer advice. 

We yell. 

We scream. 

We try to do the work for them. 

Yet, in the end, it is up to our loved one to do the work themselves.

 

Angela and I spent a lot of time just watching the girls.

We offered words of encouragement along the way, 

And we gave cheers of celebration when they rang the goal bell. 

We marveled at how beautiful the view must’ve been for them at the top of the structure, 

Unobstructed and far-reaching.

And finally we understood when they came down from the tower, excited, full of adrenaline, tired and sore.

We were happy for the girls,

For what they had accomplished,

And how they had done it completely on their own.

 

Oh God: Help us with our boundaries. Help us to know when to hold on and when to let go. Help us to know what is within our control and what is beyond. Help us to know where we end and another person begins. And help us to know how to encourage others even while sitting with our own fears and anxieties. Thank you for friends and family members who cheer us on along the way. Help us to be good cheerleaders and sitters and listeners, and when we must intervene, grant us the strength and the courage to know how. Amen.