It's Easy To Lose Yourself

I have no sense of direction. For instance, I was riding in the car with a group of people the other day around sunset. When we got lost, I said, “I wonder which direction we’re going.” Another passenger said, “Looks like we’re going north because the sun is to our left.” Duh. The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. I know that. But I didn’t think to use that fact to help determine which way we were going. Maybe that disconnect of fact to real life is one of the reasons that I often get lost…especially if my GPS refuses to work.

Thanks to the GPS and other global technologies, it’s becoming easier and easier not to get physically lost. But while it’s now relatively simple to locate oneself on a map, I would argue that it’s now just as difficult to locate oneself in one’s heart. With all of the “stuff” that we have and the “things” we are demanded (or expected) to do in all of the many roles that we are demanded (or expected) to play, I think it’s easy to lose ourselves and to one day end up wondering how on earth we got to where we are.

Over the weekend, I said to a friend, “I’m just worried that you’re pulling yourself too thin and not finding any joy in life.” She looked at me and said, “What about you?” After I realized that she wasn’t saying that I was a joyful part of her life :-), I fumbled with my words and attempted to explain how I was doing my best to find joy in life—even if I was exhausted and feeling like work had sucked the life out of me in recent weeks…

Before coming back to South Carolina yesterday, I stopped by my sister’s house to see her, my brother in law, and the kids. The family has recently done a lot of renovations to their house and back yard and the newest addition is a new play house/swing set for the kids…only…the play house is tall enough for an adult to stand in and the swings are high enough for an adult to swing on. Dana, my sister, said, “The reason it turned out so big is that I wanted the swing to be high enough for me, too.” A few minutes later, as I was pushing my niece “higher and higher,” Dana sat beside her and began to swing, smiling almost as widely as her daughter.

Having the play set built a little bit higher so that she could use it may seem silly, or selfish, to some; however, I would argue that it is one small way that Dana can be herself—that she can participate in one of the activities that she’s loved since childhood—that she can do to help not lose her own identity simply because she is a mom and a wife and a daughter and a volunteer and a friend. Yes, those roles are part of who she is, but they are not the entirety of her personhood. And she knows that. And so she built the kids’ play set a little bit higher.

This weekend, I visited one of my favorite places on earth. I listened to the rain and breathed in the cool, fall air. I saw some friends and celebrated that my best friend will soon have a baby. I bought Bullet a new toy and some dog treats and ate breakfast with my parents. I pushed a little girl on a swing while she giggled and squealed in delight. I watched a little ninja jump tree roots and hop on one foot—backwards :-). I made sure to do a few things that gave me joy—that filled me with life.

I did those things. Dana built a tall swing. What about you? What have you done recently that has filled you with joy and helped you not to lose yourself? Or if you find yourself lost, what’s something you can do to help yourself be found?