Connected Through The Body of Christ: A Follow-Up

Our building is being reorganized these days. In order to work more efficiently, teams are being grouped together and offices are being moved. We have now moved from first floor to third. When I came into work yesterday at 8:25am (five minutes early!), I began work in my old office. Mid-afternoon, I realized my new office was ready to occupy and my file cabinets were moved upstairs. Late afternoon, I began packing. Early evening, I gave my computer to Ron The Computer Man so that he could move it up. Mid evening, I began moving my stuff. Late evening, I began unpacking. Super late evening, at 10pm, I left for home (four hours late!). I’m in my new office now. I’m not completely settled, but I’m at least grounded enough to be able to work. And I’m tired. I’m very tired. I’m so tired that my brain is barely thinking. You know I’m tired when my brain cannot formulate thoughts!

As such, I’m simply going to post a follow-up to Monday’s post. I will start with Jenny’s response. And I will end with my closing words. [This exchange occurred on Tuesday, so my brain was working a little more fully then.]

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Dear Deanna,
Your words are overwhelmingly gracious and kind. Just one thought: Every place you write my name in paragraph 4, and perhaps some other places, I wonder if it should/could/can be “Deanna.” Remember: you did the work; you discovered your own truths; you did the struggling, the searching, the courageous naming, the transforming. I thank my therapists—and the two I’ve had have been incredibly insightful and compassionate—but I know I did the work . Just a thought. Peace to you always, Jenny+

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Jenny,

I anticipated this response...so I have a counter-response :-):

Read carefully:

and I was reminded that it was Jenny who first HELPED ME LEARN to accept that truth that I belong…that it was Jenny who HELPED ME LEARN to believe that God loves me for me…that it was Jenny who gave me the language of being a person of worth and value…and that it was Jenny who taught me to sit with life, open myself to it, and accept the joy and grief that comes with living.

And...well...you did give me new language. I had never heard it before. And we cannot know that which we have not heard :-). And I had never been taught to sit with life and open myself to it. I had never been taught the reality of grief that comes with joy that comes with life. So in those ways, you were not only my therapist but you were my greatest teacher.

Don't fret, dear Jenny. I know I did the struggling, searching, naming, and transforming. And I make a conscious effort to claim that truth when it is appropriate--not to boast but to speak a language that allows people to know that we must do the hard work of finding our own voice in order to be set free. And I know that God was with me. I know that God worked alongside and within me--that I couldn't have made the journey alone--and that God will do the same for everyone who accepts the invitation to the banquet table :-). But I know, too, that you served as my guide and teacher along the way--that you helped me see and hear things that I could not see or hear alone. You showed me glimpses of truth and light and taught me the tools to run toward those. You helped create the container--the safe space--in which my brokenness could be examined and in the light transformed. So, yes, I thank YOU and thank God for you...

I realize that it is only because YOU have done your own hard work of struggling, searching, naming, and transforming that you were able to walk alongside me--and so many others--in mine--and theirs. I realize, too, that you are still doing your own hard work--as I am still doing mine. And, I suppose this sounds odd and I hope I am not overstepping my bounds but, I affirm you in your journey and am inspired by your courage--your very human, faltering courage--and I am sending you the same light and love and peace that you always send me.

It's interesting. I write notes every Monday and Thursday. I spend a lot of time figuring out what to say and how to say it. More often than not, I receive little to no response to what I've written. But yesterday, people did respond. They were moved by my words--by this story--and I can't help but marvel at that fact and wonder why. Could it be the inspiration of one life changing another and forever being connected in the body of Christ? I don't know. But I'm glad I know you. And after seeing you on Sunday, I feel certain that the people of Christ Church feel the same...d