I bowled average last night...not way above or below my norm, but right on.
I should be encouraged by this fact--by the knowledge that I bowled consistently--and consistency is good in bowling.
Yet I am discouraged by my performance...
After last week's miracle bowl--marking in every frame but one--I seem to have become greedy--wanting that mark--hungering for that sense of accomplishment and reward--needing to strike or spare so that I can feel worthy of my place on the team.
With a low average, though, that only includes a mark in two or three frames, however consistent it is, I feel like I bring my team down...and that is not a good feeling...in fact, it taps into all of my deepest insecurities.
*I shake my head and sigh.*
I suppose that bowling shouldn't be a pyschological event, yet I have somehow made it so.
*I smile a small smile.*
Sometimes I make myself tired just by existing :-).
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