Superduper Soft Jacket

 

I went to Cracker Barrel for dinner on Friday night. 

As is Cracker Barrel custom, 

I checked out the clearance section before leaving. 

I found a couple of little things that I liked, and then I found a jacket that I really liked. 

Since I rarely wear jackets but have quite a few in my closet,

I needed another jacket like I need a hole in my head,

But this one was a pretty navy blue, 

And it was superduper soft and comfortable

And so I figured for 70% off, I couldn’t pass up the deal.

 

It wasn’t 70% off.

The Cracker Barrel floor designers had just put the rack suspiciously close to 70% off section.

Rude. 

And so I put the jacket back.

 

But I kept thinking about it.

I really liked it.

And I could imagine myself wearing it on morning duty. 

And did I mention that it was superduper soft?

 

I knew that I had a Cracker Barrel gift card at home, 

So when I got to the house, I set out to find it. 

In the process, I found a bunch of gift cards that I hadn’t used. 

I tend to put gift cards aside with the thought that I will use them only when I am in desperate need. 

What happens, though, is that I forget about them altogether and never use them . 

I decided it was time for a new strategy.

And so I loaded two Dunkin cards, three Starbucks cards, and three Walmart cards onto my apps, 

And I put two Food Lion cards, one Jersey Mike’s card, and three gas cards into my car for immediate use.

I also located not one, but two, Cracker Barrel gift cards, 

One of which fell behind an immovable desk and saw me on my hands and knees to retrieve it.

Did I mention that I really liked that jacket and that it was superduper soft?

 

On Saturday morning, I went back to Cracker Barrel and bought the jacket.

With gift cards, I paid just over $20. 

I wore the jacket all day.

I had everyone I knew pet my arms because I was superduper soft

And I told more people than not that I had a new Cracker Barrel jacket.

And what was really funny, to me, is that I was wearing my brand new, fancy Cracker Barrel jacket over a T-shirt that was 30 years old :-). 

 

I pray that I’ll actually wear the jacket. 

That it won’t be a purchase in vain.

And that I’ll smile when I think of its story. 

And that maybe you’ve smiled too. 

 

The end. 

Stomach Bug

 

I was sick to my stomach on Monday morning. 

I attributed it to stress. 

I wasn’t happy about this attribution because I don’t mean to be stressed. 

But them a friend reminded me that I am currently enrolled in a doctoral program at UNC-CH 

And that that was enough to make anyone stress. 

I showed myself a little grace after that and I felt a little better.

But I never felt great. 

I taught all day, 

Went to my teacher’s meeting and heard how terrible NC is going for teachers,

Went home and ate, 

Went to class for 1.5 hours,

Worked on homework for 2.5 more hours,

Went to bed, 

And woke up

Vomiting shortly after. 

The night was long. 

I decided that this was beyond stress and that I officially had a stomach bug. 

 

I drove into school on Tuesday morning to get everything ready for the sub.

Not feeling great and not firing on all cylinders,

I left my book bag at school.

Though felt a little lost without it, 

I quickly realized that it was probably good that I left it at school because I wasn’t tempted to work.

Instead, I slept the entire work day

Until I had to get up to meet Heidi the Librarian to get my bookbag

Because I had class Tuesday night.

I went to class.

I went to sleep.

I slept through the night!

And I went to work yesterday feeling not great, but much better than I had at the beginning of the week.

 

And that brings me to today. 

I’m at work again, 

Still sore from the violence of being sick, 

Still not feeling 100%, 

But okay. 

 

And sometimes, 

Okay is enough. 

 

Oh God:

When the days are fraught with stress, 

And the nights are long with sickness, 

Even there You Are. 

Grant moments of reprieve for the weary

And peace for the worn. 

For You Are rest and 

You Are good. 

Amen. 

Missing Sermon Page

 

I printed Sunday’s sermon on Saturday. 

While printing, the printer ran out of paper. 

I replaced the paper but the printer ate about 10 sheets at once.

After I cleared the jam and got the paper set correctly, 

The sermon picked up printing where it had stopped. 

Or so, I thought. 

 

I checked the pages when they came out.

Everything looked good.

I checked the pages on Sunday morning before leaving for church.

Everything looked good.

 

But when I was standing in front of the church,

Delivering the sermon, 

I got to page 6, and it wasn’t there.

I fumbled a bit.

I continue talking while looking for page 6.

I had a feeling of dread in my stomach and thought that I would just skip the second point

But then I realized that I really didn’t need to skip the second point because it was a huge part of the sermon.

Not able to think and continue speaking at the same time, 

I couldn’t recall what the second point was or how I had woven its illustration in. 

 

So I finally decided to just admit defeat.

With what I hope was lighthearted humor, 

I explained that I was missing a page of my sermon, 

but that I didn’t want to skip its message. 

So I asked everyone to forgive me and broke out my phone. 

I opened the file and continued from my phone until page 7. 

 

 

I have two reflections on this little sermon hiccup. 

1.      I’m thankful that I put my phone in my pocket and took it to the pulpit with me. I had considered leaving it in my pew.

2.      I’m thankful that my files are portable. It really is amazing that I can store my files in some imaginary cloud and be able to retrieve them from any device that has my password. Sometimes, this reality is a bit scary. But yesterday, it was very nice, and I am very grateful.

 

Technology got me into a mess

And then technology got me out of a mess. 

What’s technology done to you lately? 

And are you more grateful or aggravated by it? 

 

And. Go. 

Cat Food In Car

 

 

I bought a small bag of cat food on sale a few weeks ago. 

I left the bag in the back of my car because we didn’t yet need it inside. 

 

On Sunday, I noticed a hole in the bag. 

I hope it was punctured by being thrown around in the backseat, 

But it looked more like an animal had torn the hole in the bag and had a little snack. 

In my car. 

 

Sometimes I leave my car window rolled down when I pull into the garage. 

I’m thinking that Sigma Ray Deaton,

Otherwise known as Siggy, 

Otherwise known as Mr. Curious, 

Otherwise known as Mr. Slinky Slink, 

Wandered himself into my car and ate through the bag. 

It seems like something he would do.

He is very adventurous.

And he loves it to climb. 

And he loves food. 

 

On Saturday, we will be having a blessing of the animals at my church. 

Anyone can bring their people-friendly, easy traveling animals and receive a blessing. 

Siggy Ray and Annie Mae will not be in attendance, 

But their mama will be there with their pictures

Because their mama loves them very much

And wants them to live long, happy lives…

Even when they are sneaky and 

Jump into the car 

And break into a bag of food. 

In The Waiting

 

If you’ve ever found yourself in the middle of a season of discernment,

Then you know that the work is exhausting.

I am currently in that place with my doctoral program,

And I am exhausted.

Looking at and weighing the options.

Examining the pros and cons.

One day feeling one thing.

The next day feeling something different.

It’s a bit crazy making,

 

Everything gets confusing when I think of the world.

The world doesn’t want us to be content.

The world wants us to always strive for more—

To want more, have more, and do more.

The world demands that we move forward.

When we’re in school,

We push for that next grade level.

When we’re adults,

We push for that next promotion or higher paying job.

We are strongly encouraged to make 5 and 10 year goals—

To not remain where we are in any way.

When we’re young, we’re told to act older.

When we’re old, we’re told we need to do everything we can to look and feel younger.

We are simply are not encouraged to be content where we are.

 

But what’s so wrong with being content?

What’s so wrong with living in the moment and

Seeing where the next moment leads us?

What’s so wrong with planting our feet firmly on the ground

And embracing that we are exactly where we need to be

For exactly the moment we need to be there?

What’s so wrong with staying in one job or career year after year?

What’s so wrong with celebrating the mundane things of life as accomplishment instead of just reserving celebration for big things like graduations and weddings?

What’s so wrong with setting the goal of making it through the day with happiness and joy, having spread love instead of hate?  

What’s so wrong with doing as Jesus tells us and

Not worrying about tomorrow for today has enough troubles of its own?

 

And so I battle back-and-forth between the ways of the world and the ways of God’s kingdom,

Because they are not one in the same,

And I try to quiet the noise and sit with what feels true.

I trust the process and

Give the decision time, space, and prayer,

And in due time, the answer will come.

But in the meantime,

In the waiting,

I sure am tired.

 

May God grant rest to us all.

Amen.

Confession

I confess:

There are people I don’t like.

There are stereotypes that I struggle to overcome.

I look down on others.

I judge others.

I don’t always tell the full truth.

I don’t always forgive as I should.

Sometimes it feels good to be angry.

Sometimes I belt The Chicks’ “Not Ready To Make Nice.”

Sometimes I cuss.

Sometimes I raise my voice and/or say mean things.

I have taken advantage of others.

I have manipulated the system.

I have doubted the existence of God.

I question God on a daily basis.

I don’t understand prayer.

And I think that Jesus’s teachings are sometimes really tough.

 

I also confess:

There are a lot of people I really like.

There are stereotypes that I have overcome.

I build up others.

I accept others.

I try to live in truth.

I try to forgive by letting go of emotional hurt.

Sometimes it feels good just to laugh.

Sometimes I belt Susan Ashton’s “Stand.”

Sometimes I speak wisely.

Sometimes I remain calm and say affirming things.

I have empowered others.  

I have been a rule follower.

I have been certain of the existence of God.

I thank God on a daily basis.

I pray all the time.

And I think that Jesus’s teachings are life-changing.

 

I am human.

I am both/and.

And you are, too.

And when we each begin to see this—

If we can begin to see this—

It will transform the world.

Freedom

 I’ve been thinking a lot about freedom lately. 

What it means to me as an American and what it means to me as a Christ follower. 

 

I’ve come to the conclusion that they aren’t the same thing. 

 

Yes, I am free to do or say as I wish in both. 

But being a Christian holds greater responsibility than being an American. 

 

Just because I CAN say or do something doesn’t mean that I should. 

Just because I CAN express all my thoughts, emotions, and reactions in real time doesn’t mean than it’s wise to do so. 

 

Scripture tells us that the tongue is a powerful weapon that cannot be tamed, 

That out of the same mouth can come both blessing and curse, 

But that it shouldn’t be so. 

 

Scripture tells us not to let any unwholesome talk come out of our mouths 

But only what is good for building one another up. 

 

Scripture tells us that in Christ, we are all equal, 

That there is neither Jew nor gentile, slave nor free, male and female, 

For in Christ we are one. 

 

Scripture tells us to be guided by the fruits of the spirit: Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. 

 

And self-control means knowing what is good for building one another up, 

For blessing and not cursing, 

For inviting all to Christ’s table, and 

For loving one another, 

Which is Jesus’s greatest command. 

 

So yes, I am free to say or do what I want as an American, 

And I am free to do it real time and share it with whoever cares to listen or see. 

 

But as a Christ follower, in deed and in word, 

I am bound to a higher call.

And that call is not a call of moral superiority and division

But a call of genuine love. 

 

Oh God. 

May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable on your sight, 

Oh Lord, 

My strength and my redeemer. 

Forgive me 

When they are not. 

And help us do better. 

 

Amen.