Friends

 

I was talking to a friend recently when she said something that really stuck with me. 

She had gone to visit her sister and they had had a really nice visit. 

When she left, her sister was sad.

 

She and her sister talk every day on the phone and she said that her sister had commented that their daily phone call was the highlight of her day. 

I said, “Does she have other friends?”

She said, “No. She got a friend once but then the friend went and messed it up.”

 

Then she told me the story of how the friend became controlling and manipulative and really did mess up the friendship. 

And that was that.

Her sister has no more friends.

She works. And she goes to church. So there are inevitable acquaintances.

But there is no one she considers a friend, except for her sister.

And it’s not for lack of wanting.

 

So what happens when the need for friends isn’t met? 

What happens when someone wants a friend, 

Or more than one friend, 

And the relationships just aren’t there? 

 

What happens is that 

We face an epidemic of loneliness. 

Even with all the online connections. 

Even with all the busyness. 

Even with all the work and activity. 

People are lonely. 

And the loneliness is killing us. 

Some studies suggest that loneliness can have the same effect on the body as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.

In other words,

Loneliness is associated with an increased risk of heart disease, depression, and cognitive decline.

Loneliness is no joke.

 

So may we be a people who seek to combat loneliness through friendship.

 

I don’t have advice on how to make friends.

I don’t have wisdom that will make it any easier than it already is.

I just know that a friendship has to start somewhere

And that it has to be maintained somehow.

This takes time. And effort. And humility. And courage, yes. 

But we are a people who can do it. 

So let us do it. 

Today. 

 

Amen. 

LOVE

 

I had the privilege of preaching this past Sunday morning.

The passage was the passage where 

Jesus challenged his followers to live in unity with one another as he was in unity with God.

Jesus challenged us to do this not through conformity, but through love.

 

As I thought about it,

I began to wonder what love actually meant. 

We hear the word love all the time. 

But how do we actually love? 

 

I came up with a simple acrostic to answer my own question:

 

Listen

Open your heart

Value others as God’s beloved 

Empower others with the love of Christ

 

This is great, I thought. 

Love lived out. 

 

But then I began to wonder: 

What if people don’t want to be loved? 

What if people don’t want to be heard or see or valued or empowered? 

 

Here’s an excerpt of what I came up with…

 

Here’s a hard truth:

We can’t force unity.

But we can still love. 

 

We can:

Refuse to hate even in the face of hate.

Refuse to mock even in the face of mockery.

Refuse to slander even in the face of slander.

Refuse to judge even in the face of judgment.

 

Love doesn’t mean staying close to mistreatment or abuse

Or being silent in the face of injustice.

 

Love means setting healthy boundaries

And sometimes stepping back—

Not to reject others but to protect ourselves.

 

But even in distance,

We can keep our hearts open and

Hold space for healing.

 

Even in distance,

We can trust God to do the work

That we simply cannot do.

 

Oh God: 

Help us to love 

With a love that only you can give. 

And when people don’t want to receive it

Or respond with hate, 

Help us to love anyway. 

Amen. 

 

Four Year Anniversary

 

Well folks. 

Today is my four-year anniversary. 

 

Four years ago today,

Heidi The Librarian walked into my classroom 

And asked if I wanted to do a blackout poem with her. 

 

She said, “You can do one and I can do one and then we can compare.”

After explaining what a blackout poem was,

Heidi and I then wrote.

 

At the time, we only knew of the traditional blackout poetry form, 

Where you go linearly on the page. 

About halfway through that first year, though,

We bought a blackout poetry journal from the Amazon that taught us how to do the bubble style. 

The bubble style allows you to use any word on the page in any order, 

As long as you connect them with a line. 

 

The bubble style transformed our writing, 

Opening the page to many more poems and allowing us to find transition words that often were not there before.

 

Heidi and I have written through 

Joy and sorrow,

Celebration and grief,

Good days and bad days,

Hellos and goodbyes,

Life and death, 

Energy and weariness, 

Pride and shame, 

Political stability and political upheaval.  

 

Whatever has been on our minds and hearts for the past four years

Has come out,

Sometimes cryptically,

On the page.

And each day,

We have shared our poems with one another,

Save for one day when I was extremely sick  and away from home 

And another day when I was in the hospital.

 

This is the only time in my life that I’ve done something like this

And kept it up. 

I’ve tried memorizing scripture and 

Doing daily devotions and

Playing online games and 

Being part of a book club 

With friends. 

But none of it stuck longer than a few weeks or months. 

For some reason, 

This has stuck. 

And today I am so thankful for this journey 

That has artistically chronicled life 

And produced over 2000 poems. 

 

What is a practice that has stuck with you? 

Maybe permanently, 

Maybe for a season? 

What have you learned and experienced through said practice? 

 

What is something life giving that you do with a friend, 

Maybe daily, 

Maybe sporadically?

What is it that gives you life?

 

And…

Go!

 

Saver or Thrower Away

 

There are two types of people in this world:

People who easily throw things away and

People who don’t.

I’m the latter,

But I’m thankful for friends who are the first.

 

On Tuesday afternoon,

My Friend Jes stopped by the house and coached me in cleaning my living quarters.

To be exact, she just started organizing and throwing things away

Until I was clearly unhappy.

Then she stepped back and simply supported me as I did the same things,

Just at a much slower and more deliberate pace.

Many hours later,

My living space was the cleanest it’s been in a long time—

And a tin moratorium had been declared.

(Unless it’s a unique, special tin! 😊)

 

On Wednesday morning,

Front Office Cris came out to my storage area at work.

I share the area with the guidance counselor, the custodial staff, and ghosts of years past.

Cris had arranged for the shred truck to come and shred over 30 boxes of papers.

After those were cleaned out,

We, with the help of Joe the Custodian and Front Office Ellen,

Cleaned out a whole bunch of other stuff—

Old electronics—

Junk—

Things that had been there for years—

Cords tangled with spiders and spider webs—

And it made all of us happy—

Except maybe the spiders.

 

Now.

Would I have thrown away—

Or in the case of my house, put in the box to give away—

So much stuff had it not been for Jes and Cris?

No! Absolutely not.

I would have looked at each individual item and tried to figure out a way to use it or repurpose it or save it in case it might be used in the future.

But because I had help,

I was able to let go of a lot of clutter.

And it actually feels good—

Though part of me feels guilty for making so much trash

And not being a good steward—

Which is ridiculous,

Because the stuff in the storage closet at school wasn’t mine to begin with!

 

What about you?

Are you a saver/repurposer or

Are you a thrower-awayer?

Has it always been this way for you?

Or have you changed over time?

 

I’ve always been a saver,

But I’m getting better at throwing/giving things away—

Or at least being more intentional in my purchases.

 

I really just want to be a good steward.

It all comes down to that.

 

What about you?

 

And…go!

 

Impale

 

Heidi the Librarian and Constance Heidi’s Daughter came to the house on Saturday evening. 

 

They wanted to make some tin art and play Word On The Street. 

 

We currently have an abundance of tins. 

 

Even so, finding the right tin can be a challenge—especially when looking for a specific color.

 

It just so happened that both Heidi and Constance were looking for blues, purples, and teals, the latter of which is hot commodity. 

 

They found some tins they thought they might use, so I deconstructed them and prepared them for use. 

 

The tins were large, hefty tins that were hard to lay to the side. 

 

I cut one into smaller pieces because the characters were all from Nemo, but

I left the other as one large sheet of metal because small divisions were less easily made. 

 

While Heidi and Constance worked, I cleaned the studio a bit and pondered what I would make.

 

I finally decided that I would use the Nemo characters to make some simple collages, 

one  of which needed the background from the tin that I had left as a large sheet of metal. 

 

So I trimmed the large sheet, kept what I needed, and then lay the rest—still larger than regular sized tin—on the floor. 

 

A few minutes later, I stood up to get something. 

 

When I did, I felt a prick on my foot. This happens a lot because of the nature of our work, but this was prick was different. 

 

Instead of being on the bottom of my foot, it was on the top. Instead of just pinching a little bit, it felt like it was getting deeper. 

 

Because it was! 

 

The corner of the aforementioned large, hefty metal sheet was digging into my foot. And it hurt! 

 

But luckily it didn’t do too much damage. 

 

Nothing that a good cleaning and bandaid couldn’t fix. 

 

If I’d have been wearing safety shoes. 

If I’d have been paying attention. 

If I’d have not put tin on the floor. 

Then I wouldn’t have gotten injured. 

 

We tend to go through life wondering what would have happened if…

 

May we be a more consciousness people forthright,

Doing what we know we should do,

Instead of suffering the consequences and then…

 

Amen.