Gracious Release

 It’s taken me a long time,

But I’ve finally come to accept the reality that friendships come and go—

That people are active in our lives for a season,

But that seasons change—

Whether it be a school change, a job change, a church change, a change in marital status, or any other life change.

Very few friendships are meant to actively span the years,

And that’s okay.  

 

Our goal is to be grateful for our active friendships when and while we have them,

And then to graciously release them to social media friend status, or acquaintance status, or sometimes just someone that I used to know.

 

A gracious release, I think, should happen naturally in time—

No major falling out, no in-depth discussion on growing apart,

Just a natural fading of intensity

That may or may not rekindle.

 

But every once in awhile,

A gracious release isn’t possible.

There IS a falling out.

There IS an in-depth discussion on growing apart.

There IS an unexplained cut-off.

There ARE harsh words.

And then it hurts so very badly.

 

Last Monday, 

I ran into a harsh cut-off at Walmart.

I hadn’t seen the friend in years,

But there she appeared,

An hour away from home.

When she saw me,

She quickly moved away.

We did not reminisce about the past.

We did not catch up on the present.

We did not speak at all.

And yet ever since that moment,

I have spoken to her every night in my dreams…

 

I haikued:

 

May our spirits reach

What our bodies cannot touch

A mutual goodbye

 

Friends: If you have ever had a not-so-gracious release,

Know that you are not alone.

One day you WILL heal.

Just give yourself time.

Give yourself space.

And give yourself active friendships…

Because they will push you through this season…

And some of them may even stay the course of time.

 

Amen.