Wicked The Sixth

 The first time I saw Wicked, I cried.

The sixth time I saw Wicked, I cried.

I don’t remember much about the 2^nd-5^th times,

But I wouldn’t be surprised if I cried.

 

It’s this one scene.

Galinda gives Elphaba, her arch enemy, a pointy black witch hat and tells her to wear it to a party that everyone will be attending that night.

Galinda does this to be mean to Elphaba, but

Elphaba doesn’t realize Galinda’s spite.

She wears the hat to the party as told.

Everyone laughs.

Elphaba sticks out like an even sorer thumb than her green skin.

Even so, Elphaba begins to dance,

Alone.

Something in Galinda shifts.

She begins to dance with Elphaba—

Doing Elphaba’s unique dance moves.

Everyone else then dances, too,

And somehow, the angst and loathing between Galinda and Elphaba begins to disappear.

It’s a beautiful moment.

And it makes me cry (possibly every time).

 

Seeing past differences is a beautiful thing.

Grace is a beautiful thing.

Reconciliation is a beautiful thing.

Friendship is a beautiful thing.

 

Being good isn’t about being superficially perfect,

Rather it’s about seeing others for who they are and encouraging the best in them.

 

May we be good and hold to beautiful things,

And may we have the courage to suck up our pride and

Ask for forgiveness—

Whether it be through words or actions—

When we realize we’re wrong.

 

Amen.

 

PS. I took Amelia The Niece to see Wicked for the first time last Wednesday night. She said, “I really enjoyed it and everyone was very talented.” When asked her take away from the show, she said, “That it’s important to stand up for what’s right even if it makes you look bad to others.” What about you? For those who have seen the show, what was your take away? I’d love to hear.  

Gracious Release

 It’s taken me a long time,

But I’ve finally come to accept the reality that friendships come and go—

That people are active in our lives for a season,

But that seasons change—

Whether it be a school change, a job change, a church change, a change in marital status, or any other life change.

Very few friendships are meant to actively span the years,

And that’s okay.  

 

Our goal is to be grateful for our active friendships when and while we have them,

And then to graciously release them to social media friend status, or acquaintance status, or sometimes just someone that I used to know.

 

A gracious release, I think, should happen naturally in time—

No major falling out, no in-depth discussion on growing apart,

Just a natural fading of intensity

That may or may not rekindle.

 

But every once in awhile,

A gracious release isn’t possible.

There IS a falling out.

There IS an in-depth discussion on growing apart.

There IS an unexplained cut-off.

There ARE harsh words.

And then it hurts so very badly.

 

Last Monday, 

I ran into a harsh cut-off at Walmart.

I hadn’t seen the friend in years,

But there she appeared,

An hour away from home.

When she saw me,

She quickly moved away.

We did not reminisce about the past.

We did not catch up on the present.

We did not speak at all.

And yet ever since that moment,

I have spoken to her every night in my dreams…

 

I haikued:

 

May our spirits reach

What our bodies cannot touch

A mutual goodbye

 

Friends: If you have ever had a not-so-gracious release,

Know that you are not alone.

One day you WILL heal.

Just give yourself time.

Give yourself space.

And give yourself active friendships…

Because they will push you through this season…

And some of them may even stay the course of time.

 

Amen.

Love Your Neighbor As Yourself

 I don’t have TikTok because I’ve heard that it sucks you in,

And I don’t anything else to suck me in.

Facebook is enough—

Especially now that I’ve discovered cute animal videos 😊!

But the other day,

As I was scrolling through FB,

I saw a video post by a friend whom I admire.

It was a TikTok video.

 

The video hit me right in the gut.

 

For days now,

I’ve been thinking of what the creator said.

Finally, I asked my friend to share.

She did.

And this is what @bibleschoolblacksheep (TikTok) said:

 

“I think the worst thing the evangelical church has done

Is to combine the idea that you should love others as yourself

With the idea that you are inherently unlovable and deserving of hell.

Because if you’re taught to hate yourself

Then when you hate others,

You’re loving others as you love yourself.

This is why evangelicals have this disconnect between loving people

And accepting them for who they are--

Because inherently

They’re taught that they are not acceptable the way that they are,

So they cannot accept other people the way that they are

Because they can’t accept themselves the way that they are.

And they’re taught that that is actually loving themselves and other people.

And that’s how evangelical and fundamentalist churches weaponize God’s love—

By teaching you to withhold it from yourself and from others.

That’s also why there’s such a correlation between learning to love yourself

And deconstructing your evangelical upbringing.”

 

Friends:

I’m not sure what else to say.

Sixteen years in therapy,

And I’m still learning to believe that

I am a beloved child of God.

 

May you learn it, too,

So that you can fully

Love God,

And then,

In a healthy way,

Love your neighbor as yourself.

 

Amen.

 

Love Bombs

 Jimmy was an awkward kid,

Unique,

Somewhat of an outcast.

Students at his school picked on him for being

Different,

And it was hard.

But instead of returning hate with hate,

Jimmy returned love.

Instead of spewing mean words of dislike,

Jimmy threw love bombs.

 

I don’t know exactly how Jimmy threw his,

But over the years,

I’ve learned to throw my love bombs as a form of prayer.

 

I breathe in whatever I’m feeling,

Be it deep frustration, aggravation, annoyance, impatience,

Or joy, compassion, pride, and empathy.

 

Then I breathe out light, love, happiness, patience, and everything good—

For me, and for the students or teachers that challenge me…

Or for whom I have a super special place in my heart.

 

This week, in addition to whole class love bombs,

I have thrown love bombs at a kid whose father died over the summer,

a kid who peaked out of line and said,

“Ms. Deaton? Ms. Deaton? It’s me, C. Do you remember me? C?”

And a kid who brought me a Harry Potter keychain.

 

One kid is an easy favorite.

One kid is one with whom I struggle,

And the other kid is both.

But love bombs cover them all.

 

May we be a people who act as Jimmy acted,

Turning weapons on their heads and using them for good,

And holding to the hope that love covers all.  

 

Amen.

Blessing of the Backpacks

 It happened again this year.

During the Blessing of the Backpacks,

I wept.

I’d forgotten that it had happened before.

But as soon as I opened my hands to receive the blessing,

Tears swelled in my eyes,

And I remembered.

Once again, I felt silly and tried not to cry,

But I couldn’t fight the tears as I heard:

 

God of fresh starts and new beginnings

We bring ourselves, our big feelings, and our backpacks to you.

In them, we carry the tools we need for school and work.

In our hearts we carry big feelings, unanswered questions, and hopeful expectations.

There are endless possibilities for what this new school year might bring--

Of what we might learn, what we might accomplish, who we might meet, and who we might become.

God our friend who is always with us, be with us through it all.

Be with us as we travel to school and from work.

Be with us as we prepare for each day.

Bless each day’s journey into something new.

Also be with those who travel with us, learn with us, and work with us.

Give them what they need each day.

God of love and care,

Bless our hands and fill our hearts for the school and work that lie ahead of us.

Amen.

 

At the end of the blessing,

I closed my hands and brought them to my heart

In a gesture of receiving that which had just been offered.

 

That’s the thing that hit me hard this year.

In giving her overview of how the Blessing of the Backpacks was going to work,

Pastor Ann said,

“And close your hands and bring them to your heart

IF you want to receive the blessing.”

 

It involved a choice.

 

We could take the blessing.

Or we could leave the blessing.

 

It’s always our choice with God.

 

I’ve been going through my cycle of normal questions and doubts recently:

How does prayer work?

Does prayer influence God?

How, and when, does God intervene in this world?

Does God bless certain people while refraining blessings from others?

Does God really have an ultimate plan…or are we figuring this out together?

 

But yesterday, as I received the blessing of Pastor Ann’s words,

All those questions and doubts momentarily went away,

And I simply said, “Yes, God, I want to receive your blessing.”

 

Yes, God,

I choose you.

 

Amen. 

Mass Gifts

 I discovered something yesterday afternoon:

I’ve been giving small gifts to staff members ever since I started teaching.

I didn’t realize it had been that long!

 

It started with a simple suede/bead keychain for one school staff during Christmas 1999.

I wanted to do something for everyone, but I knew I didn’t have the money to do something big.

The next year, it changed to a penny and expanded to two school staffs,

Then an inch, a pill bottle, a gem, a card, a puzzle piece, and a bookmark.

 

I stopped teaching for a few years,

But as soon as I started again,

I restarted the mass gift giving,

Only this time,

Because school morale was so low,

I extended the gift-giving throughout the year.

 

Since returning to the classroom in 2013,

I have given cloth squares, magnets, nuts, candy, yogurt glasses, poker chips, Jenga blocks, starfish, blackout poems, gum, fossils, stuffed bears, buttons, river rocks, tin squares, bubble wrap,

And as of today, old medicine bottles filled with a tiny tin heart.  

 

Now, I don’t write any of this to toot my own horn.

I write it simply because I’m surprised at myself…

And because it’s nice to remember sometimes.

It’s nice to remember and pray for the people I used to work with.

And it’s nice to think of and pray for the people I work with now.

 

Today’s gift came with a very simple message:

One of my friends once said that the State Healthcare Plan should pass out free blood pressure and anxiety medicine to all school employees 😊. While she said this jokingly, there is some truth to the fact that our jobs are stressful and anxiety-ridden and that they don’t always allow time for self-care. While I cannot prescribe the medicines about which she was speaking, I can prescribe the greatest medicine in the world: Love. May this year be full of love for your students, their families, your coworkers, your family, yourself, your work, and the Greater Purpose to which you serve. May you take your daily dose of love, and may that love carry you through. “And now these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love. The greatest of which is Love.”

 

I pray that for you, too, friend.

However I know you—

From whenever our paths have crossed—

I pray Love for you today and in all the days to come.

Amen. 

Courage

 A few years ago, I was given the opportunity to go to a Celine Dion concert.

While I remember a lot about the concert,

What I remember most came to me out of the blue yesterday morning as I was praying about what to write for today’s beginning of the school year post.

 

At the time of the concert,

Celine had recently lost her husband.

As part of her grief,

She introduced the song, “Courage.”

While the song primarily deals with living through the loss of a loved one,

The chorus can apply to so much more:

 

“Courage, don’t you dare fail me now

I need you to keep away the doubts

I’m staring in the face of something new

You’re all I’ve got to hold on to

So, courage, don’t you dare fail me now.”

 

Courage: the ability to do something that frightens you.

 

Courage: the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

 

Courage: the quality of mind or spirit that enables a person to face difficulty, danger, pain, etc., without fear; bravery.

 

Courage: being a public-school teacher in a society that constantly tries to undermine the importance of diversity, equality, accessibility, experience, and education.

 

Oh God: Grant us, grant me, the courage to face this new school year with steadiness, hope, and belief in the work that teachers do for humankind. Help us to stand boldly for what is good and right and help teachers to educate our students’ whole selves—not just the academic parts that place pressure down our throats. Grant courage to students, alike, to face the year with an openness for growth and learning that results in healthy and whole human beings. Help us all to navigate through the fears, doubts, and worries that are setting in as a new school year begins, and help us to land on the possibilities of what can be when we face the year with You.

 

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong. Do everything in love. (1 Corinthians 16: 13-14)

 

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6)

 

Amen. 

Angel of Light

 Before I left for Europe,

I asked mom and dad if they would like a souvenir from the trip.

Dad immediately responded, “Oh yes!”

I said, “What type of souvenir would you like?

Something practical, something decorative, something unique…?”

Dad thought for a moment and said,
“You choose. You’ll know it when you see it.”

And I did.

 

After touring one church every day of the trip,

We arrived at St. Stephen’s Cathedral in Passau, Germany.

Other than Saint Mattias’s Church in Budapest,

Which was right beside our hotel and which also allowed me to climb to the second floor,

Of all the churches we visited,

I liked this one best.

I was drawn to the explanation of

The bottom of the cathedral not being highly decorated to represent the crudeness of humanity,

The intricate pillars representing the bridge of Christ,

And the beautiful paintings at the top of the building representing the glories of heaven.

I was also drawn to the explanation of

The pulpit being like a throne in the middle of the congregation.

Evidently, that is where the people could hear best.

[Remember: European cathedrals were built long before sound systems were invented.

I had not thought of this fact. Duh.]

Finally, I enjoyed an organ concert while looking at the altar that represented Trinity God.  

Sometimes in European churches I don’t know which Saint or ruler I’m looking at.

I always find it refreshing when I find who I know to be one part of or the whole of Trinity God.

 

After the organ concert,

JG wanted to visit the church store.

So we did.

And that’s when I saw it.

 

There were lots of unique figurines in the case,

But this one spoke to me.

 

Every morning,

My dad sits at the kitchen table for about two hours and does his devotions.

He very often ends up in tears,

And he quite often raises his hands in the air in hallelujah.

In short, he reaches toward heaven every day,

Like this “Angel of Light.”

(I didn’t know that was its name until after I’d made the purchase and gotten the worker to translate the German for me,

But I think the name is perfect).

 

When I got home and presented dad with his gift,

He was distracted by news of a friend receiving a potential cancer diagnosis,

So he didn’t pay it much mind.

 

But later,

He saw it,

And he cried.

He thought it was so beautiful,

And he placed it on the kitchen table where he does his devotions.

“Try looking at that every day when doing your devotions,” he said.

“It’ll do something to you.”

 

God: Thank you for speaking to us in very real ways—in churches and gift shops overseas, and at kitchen tables right here at home. Continue speaking. Continue being honored. Through the ornate and elaborate and through the humbly simple. You are the God of it all. Thank you. Amen.