Ass

 Forgive my language, but I was an ass on Saturday. Here’s what happened:

 

I arrived at ArtWorks Vass for my fifth tin art class 40 minutes early. I like to sit on the corner at the back, away from everyone, so that I have plenty of room to create. 

 

When I got there, though, someone had taken my seat! While I outwardly expressed surprise to Thomas the Tin Art Teacher, I inwardly felt resentment about the whole situation. Not only had someone taken my seat, but they had also brought their own food, tins, and sketches, and made themselves at home. This was not supposed to be happening! I immediately texted Heidi the Librarian, who was also taking the class, and said, “Someone took my seat.”

 

The perpetrators were walking around the gallery at the time of my arrival, so I didn’t know who they were until I got back from the nearby coffee shop where I had gone to get lunch. The entire time I was gone, I stewed about the day’s breech in unspoken and ridiculously selfish protocol.

 

When I saw the perpetrators, I immediately noticed a woman with a mask and thought, “Great. We have a germaphobe. I bet she’s a joy to be around.”

 

Folks: This judgmental attitude is not me! I couldn’t care less if someone wears a mask, and I really don’t think that a mask equates to an unpleasant attitude. I was just so resentful about my seat that I wasn’t thinking straight.

 

As Thomas began teaching class, one of the other class participants asked if he had suggestions as to what to make. The mask-wearer said, “Show her the pictures from last class, Thomas. That might give her some ideas.”

 

Heidi said, “You were at the last class?”

 

I said, “I don’t think you were at the last class because I’d remember you. It must have been the class before. I missed that one.”

 

Mask-wearer said, “No. I remember you. You did the beautiful quilt square and inspired me to add a patina background to mine. You probably don’t remember me because I had long hair.”

 

I said, “You had long hair?…”

 

And then it dawned on me that mask-wearer was also wearing a head covering…and that she had no hair…and…

 

Mask-wearer continued, “I was diagnosed with breast cancer two days after the last class and I’ve started chemo.”

 

In that moment, and even now as I write, I felt like such an ass and had to fight back tears. Mask-wearer, whose name is Christian, was sitting in my spot because she needed to be away from as many people as possible. Christian was wearing a mask because she needed to protect herself as much as possible.

 

Come to find out, Christian is a very nice woman. She is creative, kind, giving, and brave, and she is fighting her battle with cancer despite the odds. I helped her deconstruct a beautiful tin; she gave me the pieces she didn’t use. She worked with my tools and thanked me every time, and she asked me for advice throughout the day. Each time she said my name, she said it with genuine respect…and that made me feel like that much more of an ass…because I had so totally, completely, ignorantly, stupidly, and resentfully judged her wrong.

 

Oh God: Forgive me and my shortcomings—the resentment that I unknowingly carry—the judgments that I subconsciously make—the self-righteousness that leads me astray. On this Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, may we each be aware of our shortcomings and vow to do better with your help. This story of assery may not be one of race, but it is one of harsh and petty judgment that reveals the condition of the human heart. Help us to rise above it, God, and to live more fully into Your heart. Amen.