I Don't Want To Go Back

 To be honest, I’m not ready to go back to work, and I don’t know any teachers who are.  

 

I’m sure that there are some out there who are excited and refreshed after summer break, but I would posit that they are few and far between.

 

Instead, I suggest that most teachers already feel burdened for the year and don’t look forward to going back into the classroom where they will likely not be respected—by students, parents, politicians, and possibly even coworkers and administrators. .

 

Some would say that those of us who feel this way should quit. Thousands and thousands of teachers have left the profession where they once felt called. But quitting is not a viable option for so many and so we stay—for whatever reason—for better or for worse.

 

I want it to be for better.

I want to believe that teaching makes a difference.

I want to believe that teaching changes lives.

I want to believe that experience matters.

I want to believe that there is joy is in the educational process.

 

Yet it feels like everything teachers do is judged,

That one perceived wrong could land us on the news,

That we are attacked and unsupported in classroom discipline measures,

That we are left to the whims of decision makers who aren’t trained in education,

That we are expected to be superheroes capable of taking on more and more, without proper funding, planning time, bathroom breaks, or nutrition.

 

The system is broken.

I don’t know how to fix it.

 

I just know that I go back to work this week and that I’m not ready. And I know I’m not the only one.

 

Dear God: Forgive me for sounding like The Complainer, but sometimes I can’t do anything but confess what’s on my heart. All of it being said, though, you have granted us the ability to work, and for that I am grateful. I just pray for the work—for the year—for sustained health for teachers—physical, mental, and emotional. I pray that you will grant us strength and that we will find moments of contentment and peace each day. Renew our sense of purpose. Renew our sense of call. Help us to hold to light even when darkness tries to consume. We can do this, God. One step at a time. We just need help. So I ask for help today. Amen.