If I Let It, Fear Would Paralyze Me

 If I let it,

Fear would paralyze me.

 

There are so many things to be afraid of.

Mass shootings and other forms of violence.

Covid and other sicknesses and diseases.

Drunk drivers and deer and other things that cause wrecks.

Missed connections and other plane malfunctions.

Taking risks and failing.

Death and dying.

Bats.

 

On Saturday night, June Gail My Traveling Aunt said that she’d turn off my lamp for me.

I said, “No. Leave it on in case of bats. I want to be able to see them if they come into my room. It’s dumb. An irrational fear. But a fear nonetheless.”

 

So far, as we’ve prepared for our trip to the Mediterranean,

The excitement of what could-be has been overshadowed by the fear of what-if.

What if my Covid test comes back positive even though I have no symptoms or known exposures?

What if my carry-on is too big and I have to check my bag and the bag gets lost?

What if we miss our connection in Atlanta and we miss our flight to Athens?

What if we don’t get to Athens in time to board the ship?

What if the Viking people don’t meet us at the airport?

What if we get Covid while on board?

What if the heat overwhelms us?

What if I have another kidney stone while overseas?

What if something happens to someone in my family while I’m away?

What if my Passport or wallet get stolen or lost?

What if I drop my phone into the ocean?

 

I know.

If any of these things happen, then we will deal with them as they come.

 

I know.

One step at a time.

 

I know.

Do not fear, for I have redeemed you. I have called you by name. You are mine. I am the Lord Your God. And I am with you.

 

I know.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

I battle it with medication and therapy.

But if I let it,

It would paralyze me.

 

Dear God: Thank you for tools that fight anxiety and fear—the greatest of which is You. Help those of us who struggle with anxiety and fear to stay healthy and to have the courage to put one foot in front of the other and truly live the lives you’ve given; and help those who don’t struggle with anxiety and fear to understand the true damage that they can do instead of simply dismissing us as silly persons who lack faith. Grant strength and courage for the days that lie ahead, and help us to remember that, somehow, with You, all things are possible. Amen.