Questioning Self

 We were watching the Olympics on Tuesday night when Mikaela Shiffrin skied out in the first run of the slalom.

 

Just before her run, the announcers were talking about what a great athlete she was, how she was expected to take gold, how she was the greatest slalom skier of all-time, etc. 

 

I said aloud, “Stop doing that. You’re going to jinx her.”

 

And sure enough, she made it five seconds into the run and skied out.

 

She was devastated. She had right to be devastated. It was her run that ended unexpectedly. It was her training that seemed to be for naught. It was her life that was always going to impacted. It was her disappointment to swallow.

 

But it wasn’t the announcers’ or anyone else’s.

 

Yet the announcers kept going on and on about the mistake—calling it tragic, devastating, one of the biggest disappointments in Olympic history, an event that would forever be remembered, etc.

 

And the producers kept showing the mistake—deeming it unbelievable, unfathomable, unheard of—and they kept a camera on Shiffrin as she sat on the sidelines for a long time, trying to pull herself together, trying to reconcile what had happened. They didn’t just let her be.  

 

I went to sleep praying for Mikaela Shiffrin on Tuesday night. I felt bad for her all day yesterday. All of the expectations. All of the pressure. All of the need to perform and perform well. It’s a lot for one person to carry. It’s a lot to have the eyes of the world on you and to know that one or two mistakes can garner such ill feelings and pointed words.

 

After the race on Tuesday, Shiffrin said, choking back tears, “It’s not the end of the world. And it’s so stupid to care this much. But I feel I have to question a lot now.”

 

She has to question herself. And questioning yourself is a really hard place to be.

 

Other than seeing her sing along with “The Star Spangled Banner” at her 2018 gold medal ceremony as I teach my students about the Olympics and the National Anthem of each country, I don’t know Mikaela Shiffrin. But I know human nature. And I know that she’s in a really tough place right now. And I know that it’s not my place to judge her, to call her mistake tragic, to blame her, to shame her, or to let her performance devastate me. I am a spectator. I can care. I should care. But she is the one living through it. She is the one who can rightly be devastated. She is the one who needs support.

 

Dear God: Most of us will never experience Olympic-sized disappointment like Mikaela Shiffrin, but we will all have disappointments in life. Help us to bear those disappointments when they come, and help us to walk through those disappointments with those we love rather than blaming them or shaming them for falling short. You are a God who loves us no matter what our performance. Thank you. Amen.