Peace

 

Have you ever had a word keep appearing to you until it finally grabbed hold of you and made you realize that it had been trying to get your attention? That happened with me today in the middle of my Kindergarten lesson while we were singing about peace. In quotes, songs, my devotion book, and prayers…I keep seeing the word PEACE.

 

I’ve read:

 

“O God…Continue to fill us with your understanding and PEACE as we grow in our faith.” –Moravian Daily Texts

 

“Lord, may we hold tightly to the PEACE which we share in Christ. May we also let it go to share it with others who need it. May our day be filled with acts of giving and receiving PEACE.” –Moravian Daily Texts

 

“God, you call us day by day to venture down the path that leads to love and PEACE. Uphold us in your PEACE and fill us with your love.” –Moravian Daily Texts

 

“It’s dangerous to be PEACE because you have to stop fixing yourself and maybe you’re not perfected yet. The danger is that you will be as you are, not as you think you should be.” –Joe The Counselor

 

I’ve heard:

 

“May the PEACE of Christ be with you. (And also with you).” –Traditional Liturgical Blessing

 

I’ve sung:

 

“Sing about PEACE all around the world.” –“Sing About Martin” from the Making Music Textbook series

 

“There is a way that we can live and peace is the way…P-E-A-C-E…and peace is the way.

PEACE is shaking someone’s hand and being a good friend.

PEACE is dancing to the beat and having fun together.

PEACE is sharing your nice smile and spreading lots of sunshine.

PEACE is choosing not to heart and playing safe together.

PEACE helping with our hands and being kind to others.” –“P-E-A-C-E” by Jack Hartmann

 

I’ve written:

 

PEACE unto you.

PEACE fill your mind,

PEACE fill your heart,

PEACE wash over your people.

PEACE...

PEACE...

PEACE...

 

And I write it again.

 

PEACE unto you.

PEACE fill your mind,

PEACE fill your heart,

PEACE wash over your people.

PEACE...

PEACE...

PEACE...

Jesus Might?

 

I recently found myself confused while doing my night-time devotional reading.

 

The printed verse of scripture read: “Jesus might free those who all their lives were held in slavery by the fear of death.” Hebrews 2:15

 

“Jesus MIGHT free those…” I questioned! “I didn’t think there was a question about it. I thought that Jesus WOULD free us.”

 

That night, I left the thought at that. I continued with the devotion, said my prayers, and went to sleep.

 

But each night after that, I found myself going back to that verse and that word MIGHT. I couldn’t fathom how scripture would put a condition on the freeing power of Christ.

 

Finally, last night, I decided to read the verse of scripture in context. I figured that something was not right—that the verse was taken out of context, that it was part of a larger passage, or that it was the second half of a sentence. I was correct.

 

The context of the printed verse, in the NIV, reads: 14Since the children have flesh and blood, he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might break the power of him who holds the power of death—that is, the devil— 15and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.

 

Ummm. Yeh. The printed verse was not only taken out of context as the second half of a sentence, but it was changed! Look at verse 15 here: “AND free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.” AND free those. And. Something else. What’s more. This will happen. Not MIGHT.

 

Might, in “Jesus MIGHT free those who all their lives were held in slavery by fear of death,” indicates a condition, a possibility, a picking of who Jesus chooses. Not the promised salvation of all who believe.

 

And where did the word JESUS come from in the printed devotion version? Yes. The passage is talking about Jesus’s humanity. But in verse 15, because of how the text is divided, there isn’t a reference to Jesus or he. It simply says “And free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death.”

 

Sigh.

 

I like this devotion book. It provides scripture passages, hymns, and beautiful prayers to meditate upon. And yet. I find myself disappointed in the editor’s revision of scripture without any indication that it had been edited. Where are the … before the verse to indicate that it was the second half of a sentence? Where are the [ ] to indicate that words have been changed? And not only changed, but drastically changed! The addition of the words “JESUS MIGHT” completely alters the meaning of the verse!

 

What is a passage of scripture that you have seen changed or taken out of context to try to prove a point?  Did it bother you as much as this bothers me?

 

There is not a MIGHT in Jesus’s promise of freedom. There is only an AND. Thank God for that.

 

Confession: Racism

 

I have a confession: Realizing and naming my own unintentional racism (thoughts, actions, and inactions) has been a heartbreaking journey for me. It’s a journey that I’ve been on for years but that has come to a boiling point over the past few months. Let’s go back a few years first, and then I’ll speak to the past few months. 

 

On Monday, I wrote about how children do not see skin color. And they don’t. Not when they’re young. What I didn’t write about was how I learned this lesson many years ago. I cringe, now, to think that I led this activity, but at the time I didn’t know how incredibly hurtful it could be for my black and brown students.  

 

While teaching a song about MLK, Jr., I decided to read a book about MLK, Jr. The book talked about how white kids got to go to better schools than Martin, how Martin had to drink from separate water fountains than white people, and how Martin couldn’t go to some restaurants because of his skin color. 

 

This is where I went wrong.

 

Wanting my students to understand how this would have felt, I decided to separate them by skin color—white skin like mine on one rug, dark skin not like mine on another. Once separated, I was going to ask the two groups of students how it would feel if they were never allowed to play together or be friends with one another, and I was going to let one group of students roam freely around the room and play whatever instruments they wanted while the other group had to remain on the carpet. After talking about how unfair it was, I was going to let the second group join the first group in frolicking around the room. 

 

As a white female who has grown up with white privilege, it never dawned on me that being separated out for having a skin color different than mine might be traumatizing for my black and brown students. Testimony after testimony has shown this to be reality, however, and I’m so sorry that I ever may have hurt my kids.

 

Thankfully, what I said above is true—young children don’t see skin color. So when I asked the students to separate themselves into the two skin-color groups, each group ended up mixed with all colors of skin—friend standing with friend—and the darkest child in the room happily standing right beside me.

 

I suppose that we often only learn through our mistakes—through naming our faults, expressing sorrow for them, and vowing to do better next time. I wept on Monday for that mistake from my past, and I wept on Monday for the seeming inadequacy of my present.

 

Presently, I have found myself wondering what I can do to help heal the wounds of identity that run so deep, yet I have found myself feeling helpless more often than not. I have cried many tears over the recent, horrific events in our country—for the senseless loss and violence that has come from racial prejudice and stereotype. Yet I have still caught myself thinking judgmental thoughts more often than I care to admit. I like to think that I am not an overly judgmental person. And yet…ingrained thoughts and biases have subconsciously planted themselves into my system and sometimes unwantedly enter my brain.  

 

Once again, I find myself cringing. These words are hard to admit. Yet admit them I must. Express my sorrow. And vow to do better by being more open in the future…and the future starts now.  

 

I end today with a quote from the Inaugural Poet, Amanda Gorman. In  "The Hill We Climb," she writes:

 

We are striving to forge a union with purpose
To compose a country committed to all cultures, colors, characters and
conditions of man
And so we lift our gazes not to what stands between us
but what stands before us
We close the divide because we know, to put our future first,
we must first put our differences aside
We lay down our arms
so we can reach out our arms
to one another

 

May it be so, friends. May it be so.

Skin Color

Children,

on their own,

do not pass negative judgments on people

based on the skin color that they often do not see.

May we, like children, simply see human beings—

not ignoring diversity—

not being “color blind”—

not failing to recognize

the beauty in all peoples and cultures—

not refusing to stand up and say that

white supremacy is wrong—

not refusing to stand up and say that,

yes, all lives matter—

all lives truly matter!—but  

black lives specifically matter and

deserve the love and respect that

for too long has been denied them because of prejudice and fear—

not refusing to stand up and say that

white privilege is real and that

we must work to even the playing field that the

white patriarchy has fought for too long to keep uneven—

but simply seeing human beings—

in all our richness and diversity,

in all that is to be honored and celebrated,

in all that can and should be through the redemption and reconciliation of Christ who lived, died, and was resurrected for us all.

Amen.

And amen.

Shame

 Shame.

 

Such a deeply-seated emotion. And so very difficult to work through.

 

According to the dictionary, shame is "a painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or foolish behavior." What I have come to understand, however, is that this consciousness is often of PERCEIVED wrong or foolish behavior--especially when it comes to identity. 

 

Many times, we are shamed by other people--shown by their actions that we are thought to be inferior, less than, not good enough, worthless, alone.

 

Many times, we are shamed by ourselves--convinced by that little voice in our heads that we are inferior, less than, not good enough, worthless, alone. 

 

Regardless, whether the shame is real or perceived, whether it is brought to us by others or ourselves, shame is one of the most difficult emotions that we can feel and work through. 

 

In my own journey through shame, I have written: 

 

Dear God--

Everything is falling apart and

Life is extremely challenging.

Assist me now and

Help me triumph over injustice and lies.

Put behind me the

Ignorance of

Simple minds,

Hurtful words, and

Harsh judgments.

Speak wisdom into my life. 

I yearn for truth and peace.

Meaningful existence has escaped me.

I am overwhelmed and undervalued.

Dear God? 

Help.

 

And help is all we CAN ask for when working through shame. Help from friends. Help from family. Help from a counselor. Help from God. Help to remember that we are loved and that no words, experience, reality, or blindside can ever change the fact we are persons of worth and value. Period. 

 

Amen.

 

Life Song

 

I realized last night that I hadn’t listened to any music in the new year, so this morning on my way to work I decided to listen to my life song—the song that captures who I want to be and what I want to do in the world: “Add To The Beauty” by Sara Groves.

 

“We come with beautiful secrets

We come with purposes written on our hearts, written on our souls

We come to every new morning

With possibilities only we can hold, that only we can hold

 

Redemption comes in strange places, small spaces

Calling out the best of who we are

 

And I want to add to the beauty

To tell a better story

I want to shine with the light

That's burning up inside

 

It comes in small inspirations

It brings redemption to life and work

To our lives and our work

It comes in loving community

It comes in helping a soul find its worth

 

This is grace, an invitation to be beautiful

This is grace, an invitation”

 

As I listened, I remembered a retreat that I went on many years ago. One of the retreat activities was for participants to take pictures of what the lyrics of “Add To The Beauty” meant to them. Looking at all of the pictures was very interesting, and many of the images stuck have with me through the years. For example, one group took a picture of a shower for the lyric “redemption comes in strange places,” while another took a picture of a mailbox for the same. Redemption can come from both of those strange places, “small spaces, calling out the best of who we are…”

 

As we begin this new year, I’ve seen a lot of people post individual words that they want to live into for the year: trust, hope, love, dignity, faith, bravery, positive self-worth, Jesus. I’ve seen a lot of people post scripture verses for which they want to do the same. But I’ve not seen a lot of people post life songs.

 

So I’m asking you now: What is your life song? What song brings about the pictures and images of who you want to be? What lyrics really stand out to you? What words drive you to inspiration? It can be a song you’ve liked for many years now or one that’s current on your heart. I’m just curious to know: What is the driving force for the soundtrack of your life these days? And why? And if you had to take a picture to capture some of its words, what image(s) would you capture?

 

Please share. I’d love to know!