How Full Is Your Bucket?

A few years ago, I went to a one-day training on The Five Love Languages. I have led staff trainings on the love languages and included a ranking system on my school’s secret pal forms each year. I truly believe in the love languages and know exactly what I need for my “love tank” to be filled—words of affirmation and physical touch. I also know exactly what I don’t need—exactly what shuts me down: negative words.

A few days ago, I finished reading the book How Full Is Your Bucket? for class. It reminds me of the concept of filling the love tank in The Five Love Languages. In fact, I wonder if one influenced the other. Either way, this book got to me. Clear, simple, and direct, the book was a perfectly-timed reminder that if anything is going to change in this world then it is going to have to come from a place of positive emotion.

Today’s culture is one of negativity—of nit-picking—of making rules because personal aesthetic has been upset. Daily interactions and activity tend to be more bucket draining than filling. And not just for the adults. For kids as well.

I teach over 700 kids each week. Sometimes, some of those over 700 students push the boundaries a little too far. I must confess, though, when I give my boundary-pushing students written alternate assignments, I usually do not return their papers; I sometimes don’t even get a chance to read them. I usually file them away in a folder entitled “discipline” in case I need to return to them one day.

Recently, on a morning when I was feeling a bit discouraged and my bucket was rather empty (in the language of the book I just read), I looked at a stack of papers that some boundary-pushing students had completed the day before. In that moment, I thought, “I hope these kids never feel like I feel right now. But I bet they do. I bet that their buckets stay close to empty. Maybe I should start trying to more intentionally fill my students’ buckets.”

So I put the rest of my to-do list on hold for a moment, took out a pen, and wrote positive comments on my students’ papers. I found ways to compliment their work. I agreed with comments and asked curious questions about answers. In so many words, I let them know that while I didn’t approve of the actions that led to the alternate assignment, I did approve of them. I let them know that I was interested in their thoughts. And then I found the students and returned their papers. I have no idea if my comments meant anything to my students or not. But the sheer act of writing the comments helped me fill my own bucket just a bit…if that’s even possible…and it helped me have a much more positive day.

On the first awards day of my first year at my school, my principal asked me to “sing a little song.” I didn’t have a little song to sing, so I wrote one. I wrote one about the school and what I thought we could be. When I finished singing that morning, teachers had tears in their eyes as they stood and clapped. “You have no idea how long we’ve needed to hear something positive,” they later said. “Thank you.” I had unknowingly added drops to their buckets. Teaching is hard work.

That year, I made it my goal to do whatever I could do to increase staff morale—to keep adding drops to buckets. I have continued that goal into my fourth year at my school—organizing treat days and First Friday events off campus, coordinating Secret Pals, providing daily coffee/tea, working to keep the workroom clean, listening to teachers whenever they need to talk.

Tomorrow is our first treat day of the year. Even though the hurricane is going to cut our educational day short, we’re still going to have treats. Treat days are some of my favorite days. Sometimes simple things like food nourish the soul. Sometimes free drinks literally add drops to the bucket.

I am an encourager. I know this. It is one of my top spiritual gifts. And what I’ve realized after reading How Full Is Your Bucket? is that even though I sometimes find myself very discouraged, I must continue to find ways to encourage the people around me—especially my colleagues and students—even when it is hard and my bucket is next to empty.

What book have you read that has challenged you lately? What life-altering things have you been learning? What things have you been doing to add drops to people’s buckets?