A Crappy Week

It’s been a crappy week. Not a bad week. But a crappy week. Literally.

Now, before you continue reading, you need to know that this is going to be a different post than normal. I will use language that I rarely use and write about an issue previously not-discussed in my posts. If you want to stop reading, then I understand. But if you choose to stick with me, then I think you might laugh…or be grossed out…or touched.

First, as I’ve mentioned recently, Bullet has started taking me on walks each night. It’s been during these walks that I think I’ve figured out the mystery of why dogs search so hard for the perfect place to poop. I’ve determined that they’re not really looking for a specific place to poop, rather, they’re filling time until their poop is ready to come out. And then, when everything is ready, they do their little spin—or, as Bullet often does, come to a sudden halt—squat, and poop. Has anyone else noticed this?

Second, we had a student poop in their pants earlier in the week. [I’m purposefully using incorrect grammar for the sake of anonymity.] Since the clothing closet is in the building affectionately known as The Dungeon and The Dungeon is where both Barb’s classroom and our preferred bathroom are located, I was in The Dungeon when our student came to change their pants. To keep the student from having to take home poopy pants, the adult with the student decided to clean their soiled pants in the bathroom sink. What the adult didn’t know, though, was that if you run the water in our bathroom sink for more than five seconds, it begins to back up…

Fast forward a few minutes.

“Hey Danielle, where’s Barb?” Danielle begins laughing a giggly, little girl laugh that I’ve never heard before and tries to tell me that Barb had to go into the building to use the bathroom because, as she said, “There’s shitwater in the sink in our bathroom!” Knowing that we needed to report the hygienic safety issue, Danielle, the other Dungeon teacher, and I called the office to make the report, at which point I said, “Umm, yes. We need a clean-up in aisle one. We have shitwater in the Dungeon bathroom sink.” We all laughed really hard.

Third, while telling the above story to a coworker, I heard another crappy story. Evidently, someone left two turds on the floor of another bathroom. We determined that we had a “crapper” loose in the building.

Fourth, while telling the above story to my best friend, she told me about a student at one of her schools who once decided to write on the walls of the bathroom with her own poop. She did this repetitively and her actions were so well-planned that she knew when no other classes would be in the bathroom and which bathroom to use so that a camera wouldn’t catch her going in. Additional cameras and much detective work finally caught the culprit.

Finally, while talking to a friend last night about a truly difficult topic, I said, “I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. I know it’s hard.” She said, “It’s okay. I’m used to it. I’m dealing with a lot more crap than this.” I responded, ":-) If you need someone to help you hold the crap, then I will. Well. Not literally. Because I might throw up if I have to hold real crap. But you know what I mean. If you ever want to talk. Or share emotions. Just let me know. I’m here.”

She laughed.
I laughed.
I remembered my crappy week and shook my head.
And then I remembered a time when another friend got sick after a third-world mission trip and had to collect a feces sample to help figure out what was wrong.
I ended up holding her full sample vile for a moment while her mom helped her with something else.
I literally held her crap.

And the thing is:
I’d do it again if she needed me.
And I’d do it for the friend I was talking to last night.
And I’d do it for you, too,
If you needed it.
Not that I want to.
Don’t get me wrong.
Just walking into the bathroom after the shitwater sink had been cleaned almost made me throw up!

But when you love someone—
When you really love someone—
And you know that they love you, too—
You are willing to deal with their crap,
Both literally and figuratively.
And I love my people just that much.