Sushi and Sardines

I met a homeless man named Lawrence tonight. We crossed paths at a crosswalk outside of Sushi Blues in Raleigh. I had just celebrated my friend Angela’s birthday (two days late). I gave her two of the members of the Hallmark Angel band. If you’ve never seen Hallmark’s Holiday bands, then you should. They’re actually really cool.

Anyway, Lawrence told me I looked cold, which I was. Then we started talking. His wife had recently died of lung cancer. He had fallen in love with her as an older adult and then chosen to stay by her side until the end of her life. He said it was really hard to watch her die. And that it was hard to give up his place after he used all of his money for her funeral.

I asked Lawrence if he had a place to sleep. I knew we weren’t near a shelter. He said that he’d tried to go to the shelter but that the other men there could get kind of crazy, so he preferred to stay on his own. He said he had a blanket and couple of places he liked to lie down for the night. He was wearing a toboggan and sweater and sturdy coat, boots, and jeans. I told him I was glad that he was dressed warmer than me.

I felt completely safe with Lawrence.

I asked him if he needed any food. He said he always appreciated food. I told him to walk with me to my car, that I had a bag for him. I gave him a homeless bag (the reusable shopping bag kind) and told him it had in it a roll of toilet paper, a roll of paper towels, some hygiene products, and some things to eat. I told him I hoped he could find something in the bag that he liked. He said he would.

Then he hugged me and said, “God bless you.” I hugged him back and said, “God bless you, too.” And I smiled…because he had a faint hint of cologne on him .

We talked for a few more minutes. He told me to keep the oil and fluids checked in my car and that it should keep going for a long time, even if it was hard to keep clean. “White and black cars are hard to keep clean,” he said. I assured him that I’d keep the oil and fluids checked and that it was okay that it didn’t stay clean. I don’t care so much about the outside of my car as long as the inside doesn’t get too dirty.

After we said our goodbyes, Lawrence took his bag to some nearby stairs. He unpacked it to see what was inside and I heard a little exclamation of excitement as he pulled out the sardines and canned meats. He looked at me, held up a can, and smiled. I gave him a thumbs up and drove away thinking that maybe I should try canned sardines sometimes. A lot of people seem to like them.

On nights like tonight when I didn’t listen to my mother and dress warmly yet know that I have a warm car to take me to a warm house where I can sit with two parents who love me while working on a computer that has been good to me and then go upstairs to take a hot shower that I don’t really need and then snuggle into a cute little bed that has held my dreams for many, many years, I can’t help but be overly grateful that even without a job and even while carrying a lot of heartache and grief I still have the ability to eat sushi with lifelong friends and give sardines to a man named Lawrence who, also, was created in God’s image.

God. Thank is you is not enough. But. Thank you. And God? Please bless Lawrence and keep him safe and warm tonight and throughout the winter and beyond. Amen.

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What is one thing about your college for which you are grateful? If you haven't yet been to college, then what is or was it about your school? I’m thankful that Meredith College provided me with a super education that prepared me for teaching and introduced me to professors who care enough to friend me on Facebook and friends with whom I can eat sushi while sharing memories from 17+ years of life together.

What is one thing about the 80+ year old persons in your life for which you are grateful? I’m grateful for their stories and wisdom and resilience to live through so many decades of rapid change. [This question came after a two hour conversation with a woman with whom I used to go to church. As of yesterday, I have begun cleaning her house…only…I didn’t get to cleaning because we talked for my whole visit hours instead! She was once an officer in the military. I find that fascinating.]

What is one company/business whose products, services, and/or values you are thankful? I am thankful for the US Postal Service, UPS, and FedEx. I know sometimes that they receive a bad rap, but when I stop and think about what they do—how quickly they move products around the world—I’m amazed…and grateful. Not to mention that this year’s USPS Christmas Stamps are really pretty!