Dear Self

As part of a training that I attended yesterday and today, I was asked to think back to the years of my early adolescence. I was asked to think about how I looked, dressed, felt, and acted, and what events stood out to me from those years. After a few minutes of letting those memories flood my mind, I was asked to write a letter to my adolescent self, knowing what I know now.

While the women around me feverishly began to write, I sat and stared at my blank sheet of paper. I had no idea what I wanted to write to my adolescent self because I knew that what I know now would have never registered with who I was then. I knew that had my adolescent self made any other life choices than the ones I made, then I would not be who I am today. Sure, I may have been healthier sooner, but I would not have the understanding, depth, compassion, and grace that I do now. And so I sat. And I stared…

In order to finally write something, I had to step outside of myself and imagine myself writing to all adolescents. I had to imagine my adolescent self not as the Deanna that I both love and hate but as the Deanna that is connected to all of humanity. And here is what I finally wrote:

Dear Me,

You don’t have to try so hard to be loved. You don’t have to be perfect. You are okay just as you are.

I love you. And I believe in you.

I love and believe in who you are now and I love and believe in who you are becoming.

You are going to be okay. And you are not alone.

Love,
Me


What about you, dear reader? What did your early adolescence look like? And what would you tell your adolescent self now?