Dee, How Do You Love Yourself

Do you ever struggle to love yourself? If so, this post is for you. It stemmed from a text that I received last night...

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Dee, how do you love yourself?

Well, that's a good question. A lot times I don't. But then I hear the words of my counselor, my closest friends, and my nephews and niece and family and do my best to hold to those words and the idea that God loves me and created me and called me good. What's going on, friend?

I'm just in a rut and not loving myself right now. Sensitive to what I don't achieve and looking through fog other times.

Okay. Tell me what not loving yourself looks like.

I give myself a hard time for little things and I'm not happy with the direction of my life. More than anything, I beat myself up.

Physically, emotionally, or mentally?

Emotionally and I guess mentally, too. Like I talk down to myself or tell myself I'm being ridiculous or something; I could do better, etc.

What is your primary love language?

Touch, I think.

Okay. Did not know if it was words. It is words for me. Regardless, words are powerful. And when they start telling you all those bad things about yourself, the best thing you can do, I think, is to find other words to say and read. Like. I keep positive, encouraging texts and e-mails. And I look through them regularly...

Yeah. I tried to do that with my happy journal but I seem to forget about it until I need it and then find it empty. Not sure if that's ironic or not.

Or when things get really rough in this head and heart of mine, I sometimes just breathe really deeply. In and out. And just try to let it pass.

That's a good practice. Just shake out all the bad thoughts when they come to mind.

Well, yes. When that's possible :-). One time, when I was being really awful to myself, a good friend of mine said, "Hey. That's my friend you're talking about." And that's helped me a lot--to think of myself as someone who is valued by and a dear friend to someone else.

Some days are just harder than others, I guess. We'll all get through it, though.

Yes. Some days are worse than others and we will get through. That is very important to remember. And by the way...I think you are wonderful. And I am proud of the hard work you have done recently. You are a beautiful person. Strong and open. And I am so glad that our paths crossed and that we made the effort to keep journeying together.

(insert a night's sleep)

Hey, Dee. Sorry I didn't respond back--I fell asleep. But that was the perfect thing to wake up to! Thanks so much. I so appreciate your wisdom and advice and always look forward to hearing from you. You're very dear to me and I don't know where I'd be without you!

I literally just picked up my phone to write you. Weird! I'm glad you fell asleep. That's something else I do sometimes. When I cannot get the negative system to stop being negative, sometimes it is best just to reboot! I hope your rest last night did that for you! Let's both find some things to laugh about today, okay? And one more thing. The text you just sent me with encouraging, sweet words? I will either save it to my phone or type it out in a file so that when I'm having an I hate Deanna spell, I can read the words and allow them to fill me with a different script--with a script that I think is from the heart of God's love.

:-). I'll look for some good church signs today. They always make us laugh!