Always

I recently received an e-mail said: "Say Thank You to the Baptist Women Who Have Touched Your Life."

So...Thank you, Mandy, Christina, Ruby, Mom, Laura, Anna, Lindsay, Rebecca, SC WMU Staff, WMU NC Staff, Antioch Baptist Church choir members, Camp Mundo Vista friends, FBC Erwin women and youth, SC Acteens Leaders, and anyone else who might be reading this note. Chances are good that if you're reading this, then you have touched my life in some way.

And...thank you, Kay...

Four years ago last Thursday, I was at your memorial service, singing "There's a Stirring," remembering your life and celebrating the impact that you made on countless people. I was but one of many.

I remember the first time we met--how my dad pushed for me to meet you, this woman in ministry that would be good to talk to--but how I put off the meeting for far too long. I remember meeting you at your church, crawling into your extremely messy car, going to eat Mexican food, and you getting huevos rancheros--which I thought looked disgusting!

I remember how encouraging you were--how affirming. How you listened so intently and remained a non-anxious presence even in the midst of chaos.

I remember your smile--and your laughter. I remember your beautiful voice. I remember how you supported those of us you loved and gave unselfishly to enrich our lives.

I wish you'd told us you were sick--that your heart was too large and that you needed help cooking and cleaning and doing the daily tasks of survival. But I guess that wasn't you--asking for help--or intruding on anyone else's life. And I guess it WAS you to have an enlarged heart.

You rescued me once when my car broke down. You took me to Wal-mart (that you hated) and drove me all the way home. You accepted me for me and gave me and my band a place to lead worship on the second Sunday of every month. You came to our 30-hour-famine lock-in and supported us with your money and time. You showed me that ministers can be human and that we don't have to have it all together. You taught me to sit in silence, hands open in prayer, and to see God as Creator of Love and Light and Time...

In fact, that's what you were doing the last time I saw you--sitting with your hands open, receiving God's spirit as the band sang--a look of peace covering your face...and then you walked down the aisle to go home...and we never saw you again because your enlarged heart stopped beating that night.

You changed my life, Kay, and for as long as I'm alive, your memory and legacy live on.

Thank you.

Thank you for being you...and for encouraging me to be.

And, Kay, I never told you this, but: I love you.

Always.