It's Hard

 

It’s hard.

Knowing when to speak and when to stay silent.

Knowing when to offer advice and when to just listen.

Knowing when to challenge and when to accept the status quo.

 

I think of a time when I spoke too much. 

As a result, a friend stopped talking to me about two major areas of her life.

In general, she avoided mentioning them,

But it got to the point that she began stretching the truth because she didn’t want to disappoint me or frustrate me by her decisions.

 

Both of us had responsibility in this little rift,

But I made the error of pushing too hard and two passionately for change

Instead of letting her make decisions for herself.

 

People will only change when the pain of their current reality becomes too much to bear.

 

I know this. 

Joe and I talk about it all the time. 

 

Most change is gradual. 

Moment by moment, step by step. 

 

Most change comes from within

And it takes a long time for outer words to take root within. 

 

No amount of passion, logic, wisdom, compassion, empathy, or being right can make someone change if they are not ready to take a leap into the scary unknown.  

And, truthfully, most people are never ready to change because it IS scary and unknown.

 

Again, I know this.

Therapy has taught me that much.

 

But it’s so hard watching people that you care for struggle. 

It’s hard knowing when to speak and when to stay silent.

It’s hard knowing when to offer advice and when to just listen.

It’s hard knowing when to challenge and when to accept the status quo.

 

Oh God, 

Help us to know 

When to do what 

And what to do when  

And forgive us when we do the wrong thing. 

 

Amen.