Superwoman

I started this semester taking two different courses: Foundations of Worship and Writing Your Spiritual Autobiography. 

 

The worship class ends tonight. It has planted fresh ideas of worship in my mind and heart and I am so very grateful for how it has influenced me. 

 

The autobiography class ends next week. It has reminded me of the importance of story and challenged me to improve my writing with more sensory detail. It has also forced me to look back on my life and consider what stories are worth sharing for the sake of common humanity. This journey of looking back has been very emotional and caused me to shed many tears. 

 

I’ve written five stories, but I’ve also bound five volumes of poems from five different years. 

 

Starting in seventh grade, long before computers were an American household norm, I would gather the random scraps of paper, napkins, or yellow legal pads that I’d scribbled poems or lyrics on and then copy their words into a blank book. 

 

I did this for over fifteen years until I started writing more on the computer than by hand. At that point, 2004 to be exact, I started printing the poems and lyrics and binding them into yearly books. 

 

This is what I’ve done since taking the autobiography class. I’ve printed and compiled a few years’ poems.  And in the process, I’ve read and remembered. It has been both a joy and a sorrow. 

 

I have laughed at myself and how dramatic I am. I have wondered at myself and what in the world I was trying to say. And I have wept with myself and wanted to go back and give my lost, hurting, broken self a great big hug. 

 

In reading poems from 2007, I found this piece appropriate to share. Our theme at school this year is a superhero theme. But sometimes, we all become weary super heroes. 

 

So I have this

Unrealistic expectation of myself:

Perfection; plain and simple.

(Except that it’s not so plain and simple.)

Reaching for the goal of being all things to all people is

Wearing me down.  Always showing up as asked, wanted, suggested, or needed--

On time, ready to perform well above standard and to

Make every effort to please every opinion in every word and

Action--is really quite complicated.  In fact, right

Now, I would just like to rest.

 

Friends: Whether you find yourself learning about something new or reminiscing about the past, may you honor your journey and find rest today. 

 

Amen.