Reframing

 Last week as we were sitting in class,

My friend Mrs. Howell said,
“I thought about you this morning, Ms. Deaton.”

I said, “Uh oh. I hope it wasn’t bad.”

She said, “It was something.”

She continued, “You know I drive a bus in the morning.

Well, I’ve got some characters on my bus.

I was driving along this morning when I heard,

‘Your mama’s so fat…’

And I thought, ‘Uh oh.’

I just listened for a moment and heard them coming at each other with,

‘Your mama’s so fat…’

I was thinking about saying something when all of a sudden I heard,

‘My mama’s fat because she had me!’

And then all of the voices starting saying the same thing.

‘My mama’s fat because…’

‘Well my mama’s fat because…’

‘Well my mama’s fat because…’

And I looked down at myself and thought,

‘I’ve had two kids. Maybe that’s why I’m fat!’”

We laughed.

 

I said, “Wow. What a way to reframe a conversation!”

She said, “I know. And it just made me think of you because I know you pay attention to what the kids say.”

And I do.

And I think this story is so funny…

Especially knowing the kids involved.

 

Friends: Sometimes it simply takes reframing a situation, story, or memory to turn it from

Harmful to helpful,

Negative to positive,

Serious to funny,

Anger to acceptance.

 

I remember Jenny The Counselor saying something about rewriting a story from the past.

I argued with her.

I told her that the past was the past and that it couldn’t be changed.

Then slowly, over time, as I began to see things through a different lense,

I suddenly began to understand.

No. We can’t change the facts of a situation, story, or memory,

But we can change how we respond…

And we can show both ourselves and the others involved

Forgiveness and grace.

 

I wish Your Mama jokes didn’t exist.

I wish hurling insults in any form, for whatever reason,

Wasn’t a thing.

But it’s been a thing since the beginning of time and it’s likely not going to go away.

So…let’s work on reframing.

Let’s work on changing the plotline when we can and

The focus-point when we can’t.

When appropriate, let’s turn tense situations into laughter

And difficult situations into compromise and peace.

 

It’s possible.

The boys on the bus did it that day.

We can, too.