Kids and Pornography

 My youth minister was addicted to pornography.

We didn’t know it at the time,

But his addiction began in the 2^nd grade when a friend asked him to spend the night.

The friend introduced him to sexual images that night,

And from that point forward,

He couldn’t look away.

The addiction progressed from visual images, to phone calls, to in-person encounters,

To eventually breaking up his marriage after numerous treatment programs failed.

 

When my youth minister was growing up,

Exposure to pornography came through magazines and videos that children stumbled upon,

Unsecured,

In their houses.

Today, exposure to pornography comes at the click of the mouse,

At the answer to a search engine,

In the palm of a child’s hand,

And no age is too young.

 

Many people think that pornography is no big deal--

That kids need to explore and figure things out.

Many people think that sexualized images and language in commercials, shows, and games are no big deal—

That they’re funny and just part of life.

But when 2^nd and 3^rd grade students are drawing explicit drawings,

Complete with animals,

And when “Turn to pg. 69,” becomes reason for cackling for 8-year-olds,

And when young students can’t talk about squirrels eating nuts or sports using balls without snickering,

And when young boys are asking a student with special needs if he would “suck someone’s !@#$”

And when I can’t say that a musical note is long without a student responding, “That’s what she said,”

And when 2^nd graders have their phones, unmonitored, at 11pm, and send inappropriate images to one another,

Then I think we have a problem.

 

I admit. I am not a parent.

I have no idea how difficult it is to raise a child.

And I’m not attacking parents here, nor do I want anyone reading this to do so.

I’m just raising concern for where society has landed in both soft and hard pornography—

How normalized it has become—

I am lamenting the fact that children are being exposed to adult images, topics, and concepts, when they are nowhere close to having the maturity to handle them—

And I am mourning the fact that many children are being neglected or abused and it’s showing up through unhealthy sexual thought and action.

 

We can say that we need to go back.

But, clearly, with my youth minister as an example,

Going back isn’t the answer.

We must, instead, go forward,

And do everything we can do to be safe places for our children,

So that when they see or hear things they don’t understand,

They feel comfortable enough to talk with at us about them

Rather than going to school and asking other children.  

We must have difficult conversations.

We must write letters to and boycott companies who use soft pornography in their ad campaigns.

And we must realize that the onslaught of images and information being thrown at kids is overwhelming them and shutting them down.

 

Oh God: Help us. And help our children. To know and understand the value of all human life and to not become addicted to pornography, sex, alcohol, drugs, power, money, food, weapons, or anything else that damages relationship with you and others in this world. Help us to seek help when help is needed. And help us to get our children help when they need it, too. Guard our hearts and minds, God, and help us to hold to thoughts and images that uplift life and humanity rather than tear it down. And God? Let kids be kids. And let them come to you. Amen.