Our Response Matters

I introduced “Dem Bones” to my 3rd graders today. Most of the recordings have skeletons attached to them because, well, the song is about bones. One of my students shared in the chat box that she is afraid of skeletons. Another student tried to comfort her and encourage her not to be scared. Another student said, “Why are you so scared? You’re literally in the 3rd grade.” At that point, the original student, who had bravely faced her fear of skeletons for the entire lesson, left the Meet… When someone expresses a thought or opinion—especially a thought or opinion that leaves him/her vulnerable—we have a choice as to how we respond. We can not respond—just take in the information and listen—because sometimes people just need to speak and be heard. We can try to comfort and encourage—with distractions or advice—because sometimes people need an outside voice to help push them through. Or we can be totally insensitive and say exactly what we’re feeling—because we have that “right”—yet almost at no time does anyone desire to speak and be disregarded as dumb… In a follow-up e-mail with the student who is afraid of skeletons, I read as she confessed that she didn’t like the person who told her she shouldn’t be scared because she was in the 3rd grade. I don’t blame her. I didn’t like that student so much in that moment either… In a time of heighted division and unrest, people sometimes need to express their thoughts and opinions. We sometimes need to work things out outside our heads. May we be persons who listen and respond with care, compassion, wisdom, and discernment…or may we not respond at all. Because we don’t need more people getting hurt and liking people less. There is already too much of that…