Notice Them

As part of an after-school training today, we did an activity where we wrote words of encouragement on sheets of paper taped to one another’s backs. As someone whose primary love languages are words of affirmation and physical touch, the activity was right up my alley.

I decided to take the opportunity to tell people things that I’d been thinking for some time but hadn’t had the chance to say. “You have a beautiful heart.” “You have an encouraging smile.” “You are always so calm.” “You are an amazing teacher.” “You are my people.” “You are one of the strongest people I know.”

Since I decided to take the activity very seriously and write full sentences in my best handwriting, I didn’t make it to very many people. But I thought about what I’d say to a lot of people, and I realized two things:

1) We shouldn’t wait to tell people positive things about themselves. It’s not hard to write a quick note or send a quick e-mail. And if we want to remain anonymous, it’s not hard to do that either—especially in a work setting.

2) It’s easy to pay attention to people with whom we click and to find positive words about them, but it’s difficult to find something genuinely kind to say to people with whom we don’t immediately connect. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that it’s easier to find negative words to say about people with whom we don’t immediately connect. I’m just saying that it’s harder to make meaningful, personalized observations of people with whom we have less interaction, conversation, and time.

I know that we’re all busy. I know that anything additional to the must-do list can seem like an imposition. But in a world where information is spinning out of control and words are flying at us at what seems like a million miles per minute, maybe we need to make more intentional efforts throw positive words and information into the mix.

So write or say those words. Make those phone calls or send those texts. Mail those cards or place those notes in people’s boxes. Make an intentional effort to notice and connect with someone outside of your immediate comfort and attraction zone.

For when we notice someone—when we truly notice them—it can make all the difference in the world.