Okay In My Own Skin

At the end of the summer, I joined an online music educator’s group in an effort to become a better music teacher.

Instead of helping me, the group hindered me. I started doubting my abilities to plan and teach meaningful, relevant, world-expanding lessons, and I felt like nothing I did was good enough for the group.

After a couple of weeks of icky restlessness, I stopped looking at group member posts. Yesterday, for the first time all year, I felt like a decent teacher.

As I stood with my 5th graders and discussed blindness and autism (We watched a clip of Kodi Lee from America’s Got Talent);

As I explained what a brain tumor was (George Gershwin died very young from a brain tumor);

As my 2nd and 3rd graders learned the meaning of decency, fairness, honesty, discipline, justice, courage, integrity, compassion, morality, humility, kindness, respect, and responsibility (We’re singing a song with these lyrics);

As I corrected a first grader’s idea that we live in Merica (We’re learning “America”);

As I listened to some of my EC students respond to their lesson and happily participate (Today’s picture is courtesy of one of those students; he drew the planets);

I was finally able to rest in my own skin again and know that I am teaching meaningful, relevant, world-expanding lessons.

It’s good for us to try to improve. It’s good to seek opportunities for growth. But sometimes our best human efforts end up hurting us more than helping us, and it’s in those moments that we must fall back on and trust the person that God has made us to be.

What is something in your life that you thought would help but has hindered you instead? What parts of your God-created and redeemed self do you need to fall back on and trust tonight?